My Girl
by Ultrawoman
Summary: COMPLETE! FantasyAU. Spike is forced to juggle his job, with bringing up a teenage daughter alone, constantly haunted by memories of his dead wife. Will a new arrival in town mean the end to his problems, or just the start of new ones?
1. Old and New

A/N : Why is it that I can't just have one fic idea at a time? Oh well, this is something that's been bouncing round in my head for a while and I've finally decided I can actually make it work, so here it is!

Title : My Girl

Rating : PG-13

Summary : FantasyAU (All-Human) When Spike and Dru discovered she was unable to have kids they adopted a baby girl and named her Dawn. Sadly, Dru passed away when Dawn was just nine years old. Five years later and Spike is forced to juggle his job at his Dad's electronics company, with the task of bringing up a teenage daughter alone, constantly haunted by memories of his deceased wife. Will a new arrival in town mean the end to all his problems, or just the beginnings of new ones?

Disclaimer : All recognisable BtVS/AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon & Mutant Enemy - not me.

Chapter 1 - Old and New

"Dawn!" he yelled up the stairs, "Get yourself down here, Bit, don't want you being late for your first day!"

"Coming, Dad" the young girl called back as she stood in front of her full length mirror and checked herself over one last time. Trying to find the perfect balance between cool, sexy, and acceptable school-wear was a nightmare, especially when she also had to contend with her father's belief that she was far too young to be interested in boys and dating. She was almost fifteen years old for God sakes, and this was her first day at Sunnydale High School. In her own mind she was a woman, okay so a young woman, but not the child her Dad seemed to think she was. Still, she knew it was all because he cared and she loved him so much. It really didn't matter to her that she was adopted.

"Ready to go" she announced as she reached the bottom of the stairs pulling her bag onto her shoulder.

Her father looked her over and smiled. His little girl was growing up, but at least she seemed to be sensibly dressed for school. He'd seen too many of her friends in their skimpy scraps of material that passed for clothing. His Little Bit was not some trollop, he wouldn't allow it. She was going to be a proper young lady, it's how he'd raised her.

It hadn't been easy being a single parent these past six years, it certainly hadn't been easy for Dawn, Spike let his thoughts wander as he drove her to school. The girl knew she was adopted, she'd been told at a young age as her new parents were determined never to lie to her. She'd taken it surprisingly well, that her real mother had given her up. They'd made sure she understood that they loved her dearly and that her birth mother had loved her too, and only handed her over because she loved her so much and wanted her to have a better life than she could give.

Truth was, neither Spike nor Dru knew much about Dawn's true mother, only that she'd had her child at the age of barely sixteen, and had little support. Dawn didn't even know the woman's name and never really asked about her. Spike was Dad and Dru was Mum, it had always been that way and so it would remain, even when Drusilla had passed away.

"Dad?" Dawn said for the third time. Her father had driven her all the way to school and parked up outside without incident, but he had a dazed kind of look and the young brunette knew why.

"You were thinking about Mom again, weren't you?" she guessed.

Spike smiled slightly. His little girl, she knew him better than anyone, and she could read him like a book.

"I was" he admitted, "she'd be so proud of you" he continued to smile sadly as he took her chin in his hand "she'd have loved to have seen you grow up..." his voice cracked with emotion and Dawn moved to hug him briefly.

"I love you, Daddy" she told him as he hugged her back.

"I love you too, Dawnie" he promised, desperate not to be a ponce and cry, "Now get away with you" he urged, pushing her gently away, "Time you were learnin' things"

She smiled as she kissed her fathers cheek and hopped out of the car.

"Have a good day, luv" he called through the wound-down window.

"You too" she called back before joining a group of her friends and walking into the building.

Spike sighed as he revved the engine and went right back to thinking about Dru. She was never far from his thoughts, even after all these years.

They'd always known that Drusilla was incapable of having children, so as soon as the time came when they were ready to start a family they looked into adoption. Drusilla loved the idea of bringing up a child that would otherwise have had a terrible time. She wanted to give love to the unloved, Spike knew that, it was the way she had been with him.

He was somewhat unpopular in his youth, in what he called his William days he was a little geeky and sensitive, and often the butt of other peoples jokes. Drusilla saw something in him, something different. She was a little older and more experienced and somehow she managed to bring the wild-side out of him and they had some times. He was sixteen when he met her and she was nineteen. She'd shown him what it meant to have fun and more importantly what it meant to be in love. It was her that had come up with the nickname Spike and that had really stuck. She completely changed his life, and he loved her so much for that. The first thing he did on graduating High School was ask her to marry him and he blew off college to get a job so they could arrange a wedding and set up home together.

Everyone said they were crazy but they only knew how much they loved each other, it was all that mattered to them. They'd calmed down a little, after their marriage but their love was strong as ever. It was a year later that Rupert Giles, Spike's father, had announced he planned to emigrate to America and offered his son and daughter-in-law the chance to go with him. They'd declined at first but followed just a few months later and they'd never looked back...

Spike pulled the car up outside of Giles Electronics and turned off the engine. Unbuckling the seat-belt, he leant over to the back to retrieve his coat, causing his wallet to fall out of the pocket.

"Bugger" he cursed as he reached for it. It had come open and inside he caught sight of the photographs he always carried. There they were, his two girls - Drusilla, the wife he was so surprised and yet elated to have won, and Dawnie, the daughter that was as much his as any child he might have spawned himself.

"Knock, knock" a female voice called through the open car window and Spike turned his head to see a familiar and friendly face beside him.

"Hello, pet" he smiled, "How's life?"

"Much the same as yesterday" Willow giggled, pushing her red hair over her shoulder, "It's just another work day. You remember how they start at eight thirty?" she said with slight sarcasm, showing him her watch that said 8:28am.

"Oh bloody hell" Spike cursed, shoving his wallet into his jeans and jumping fom the car, Willow barely getting a chance to move before the door hit her. He threw on his coat, locked the car and encouraged his red-haired friend to 'move her ass'.

He'd been late three days this week for one reason and another and despite the fact his boss was dear old Dad, he knew he was in for trouble if he continued in his tardiness. Clearly Willow had seen the car from the window and come down to the street to fetch him. She'd probably got in a half hour early at least, along with her husband Daniel 'Oz' Osbourne that worked along side her.

Spike made it to his desk with seconds to spare, breathing erratically as Oz stifled a grin.

"Hey Spike, impeccable timing as always"

"Shut your trap, Osbourne" the bleached blond shot back good naturedly, "You try dealing with a fifteen year old daughter in the mornings and see how impeccable your bloody timing is" he complained.

"The twins can be just as tough to deal with" he promised, thinking of his and Willows two little girls.

His wife smiled across from her own desk.

"Let me enjoy them being ten and deal-able for a while" she begged, "I don't wanna know how complicated it's gonna get when they're in their teens!"

Spike laughed at that.

"Double trouble" he commented, "Let's see how punctual you are when you have two teenage sized bits to cope with, I have enough to deal with and there's only one of Dawnie"

"Dawn's a good girl" Willow defended the child she'd helped out with since Drusilla passed away, Spike had needed a lot of support to start off with, now his friends were stunned at how well he coped, for a while it had seemed he never would.

"She is at that" Spike nodded once, still looking at Willow and Oz and not noticing the man standing behind him.

"Yes, indeed, my grand-daughter is a very fine girl" Rupert Giles spoke finally, making Spike physically jump in his seat, "but I do rather think now should be a time when we're working and not idly gossiping, do you not agree William?" he deliberately used his son's given name to annoy him in this instance.

"Yes, father" he replied like a dutiful school boy, but with a smirk on his lips as he switched on the computer in front of him. Just another day in the life.

* * *

"So, this is Sunnydale" a young looking blonde woman looked around the area just beyond the bus station, a suitcase in one hand and sunglasses on her head.

"It's what the sign says" the man behind her replied as he struggled with several more cases and bags - there was simply no way he was going to be able to carry them all by himself.

"Well, they were right about the Sunny part" she smiled, looking up at the sky. She was pretty sure she was going to learn to love California, and it was worth all the hassle of getting here if she could find what she was looking for.

"Hey Buff" the man behind her called, "A hand with the bags, possibly?" he suggested as she turned to look back at him.

"Sorry Xan" she smiled as she saw him struggling and walked back to try and help.

"S'okay sweetie, you've got a lot on your mind, I get that" he assured her as they tried to work out how they were going to get all this luggage to where they were going without some serious assistance.

"We need a cab" Buffy decided after a while and Xander nodded, breathing heavily from the exertion of trying to shift all the bags and cases.

"Something we can't really make a habit of though" he warned, seating himself on the end of the biggest suitcase, "Money's tight and we have to find a place to stay yet"

Buffy joined him on the suitcase and sighed.

"I'm sorry Xan, for dragging you out here with me" she looked down at her hands as they fiddled with the strap of her purse.

"Hey, what are cousins for?" he smiled, putting an arm around her and squeezing, "Besides it'll be worth it if we find her, right?"

"I hope so" Buffy agreed, so glad Xander had agreed to come with her on this trip. She couldn't have done it alone.

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : Well, that's the intro chapter done. Opinions so far? Please review!


	2. Clouds In Your Coffee

A/N : Thanx so much to; Moonjava, msberry, Caitie02, SlaYeRGiRLkaL, Rowan Rice, Celestia Nailo, katie, trueblue, spuffygrl, sheilamarie, Dark Drusilla, and susan pero. You guys are great, I always worry about new stories and if anyone will like them. Seems I have support for this one so that's great. trueblue asked about Spike's age, he's about thirty four/thirty five and Buffy is twenty nine, almost thirty, hope that helps you. Here's the new chapter.  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 2 - Clouds In Your Coffee

"I hope it's not too hard to get a job around here" Xander sighed as he sat on one of the beds of the cheap motel room and counted up their cash, "We're gonna need some income and we can't live in a motel forever even if we could afford it"

Buffy re-entered from the bathroom where she'd been putting away her toiletries.

"It shouldn't be too difficult for you" she told her cousin, "I mean, a town always needs carpenters right? Always something needs building or fixing"

"Good point" Xander nodded, putting away their money in a safe place and gesturing for Buffy to come and sit beside him, "And what about you?" he asked, throwing an arm over her shoulders.

"I don't know" the blonde sighed, "I know I should have but I haven't really been thinking about jobs and money...just her"

"I get that" he assured her, giving her a squeeze, "and it'll all turn out okay in the end, I just know it will"

"How can you be so sure?" his cousin asked, flopping back on the bed and taking him down with her.

"When have you ever known me to be wrong?" he asked the ceiling, not daring to look at her incredulous face, "Okay, okay" he conceded, "So I'm not known for my right-ness, but I'm trying here"

She laughed at him then, he was such a great guy and so much fun, but far too much of a brother figure for him to ever be boyfriend or husband material. Xander was her rock, her strength, and her one true friend through everything that had happened to her. He never let her down and she appreciated it so much. He'd even left his home town to come along with her to Sunnydale so she could find a person she hadn't seen in over fourteen years.

"Maybe I should go find a local newspaper, look at the vacancies" she suggested, finally pulling herself to her feet. Xander stared at her, propping himself on his elbows, but making no effort to get up at all.

"Sounds like a plan" he agreed, "You mind if I stay here? I'm wiped after that long journey" he let his arms go slack and fell back into the bedclothes for emphasis and Buffy smiled.

"You get some rest grandpa" she teased, "I'll go fetch that paper and take a look around town"

"Grandpa!" his head popped up as he yelled incredulously and grabbed a pillow to launch at her. It hit the back of the door as she ran out giggling, wishing life could always be so simple and fun as in that moment. Of course, it never had been and was never likely to be.

* * *

"I make it just about lunch time" Spike said as soon as his watch said 12.29, "Who fancies joining me at the Espresso Pump for half an hour?" he asked his two work mates that he shared the office with as he stood and pulled on his leather coat.

"Sounds good" Willow nodded, looking to Oz who agreed.

The three headed down to the ground floor and walked out onto the street together, chatting about their work and their families as always. Spike was so involved in his conversation that he didn't see the young woman exiting the coffee shop until he'd ploughed right into her, causing her to spill her take-away drink all down the front of her white top and partly over Spike's hand.

"Watch where you're going, jerk!" she screeched, but the man was too releived to realise it was iced-coffee to really hear her.

"Sorry pet, didn't see you there" he apologised as she moved back into the building and he, Willow and Oz filed in too.

"Well maybe if you looked where you were going, you idiot!" she continued as she grabbed a handful of paper napkins and tried to fix the damage to her clothes.

Spike was about to launch into full yelling mode when Willow blocked his view of the other woman and tried to help.

"Hey, let me give you a hand with that" the red-head offered, leading the blonde off towards the bathroom.

"Spike, you do have a way with women" Oz smiled, as the two men walked over to the counter. His sarcastic tone was hardly any different to his normal voice, but Spike knew what he meant.

"Don't be a git" he snapped, as they sat down on two stools "The silly bint should have looked where she was going"

"As should you" his friend bit back, one of the few people who would ever dare argue when Spike got into one of his moods.

The bleached blond opened his mouth to speak again but was interrupted as the waitress asked what they wanted. The guys told her what they wanted, Oz also ordering his wife's favourite, just as she arrived back at his side with the blonde woman in tow.

"Hey guys, I asked Buffy to come sit with us" the red-head smiled, Buffy pulled at her damp top uncomfortably, shooting Spike a look, "She's new in town and I thought we should make her feel welcome in Sunnydale"

There was a tone in her voice and a look on her face that both Oz and Spike knew only too well. It was the same as when your mother is telling you off for doing something without actually yelling or using the words. Somehow it was worse.

"Hey there, pet" Spike smiled with fake sweetness, holding out his hand, "Names William Giles, but most call me Spike" warily she took the hand he held out to her, "Sorry about before, I'm just a little edgy today is all" he admitted, his mind had been half on Dawn all day and how she'd be doing at Sunnydale High.

"That's okay" Buffy conceded as they shook hands, "Guess I should have been watching where I was going too"

Willow smiled proudly as she sat down on the stool by Oz and gestured that Buffy should take the spare seat next to Spike.

"Now you two are friends" she said next, "Buffy Summers, this is Daniel Osbourne, my Oz" she grinned and Buffy reached across in front of Spike to shake the other man's hand.

"Pleasure" he nodded and she smiled as she told him 'likewise'.

Spike studied the girl as she pulled herself back into her seat. She wasn't bad looking now that he paid attention. Slightly built and maybe a might younger than himself, still, she looked like she could hold her own. He shook his head as he realised he was staring, and a moment later coffee and lunch arrived in front of them.

The half an hour lunch break of the employees of Giles Electronics passed swiftly, as Willow and Oz became better acquainted with Buffy. Spike kept mostly to himself, he wasn't one for telling his life story to strangers. Since Dru had died he reverted to being less forthcoming amongst company. Still, blindness and yelling not withstanding, Buffy thought he seemed pleasant enough, he had a nice smile and these gorgeous eyes that said everything.

"Oh my God" Willow gasped as she checked her watch and realised they'd been out of the office longer than they ought to have been. She got Oz up from his seat and made a hasty retreat as Spike told them to get gone, he'd deal with the bill.

Buffy stayed and began digging in her pocket and counting out change onto the bar so she could pay for her coffee. Spike pushed the coins back toward her.

"'S'on me, pet" he told her, "least I can do"

"If you're sure" she checked, collecting up the change again. She looked away from him and those bright eyes again, it was sort of embarrassing.

"I'm sure" the bleached blond nodded, paying the bill himself, "Call it a welcome to Sunnydale if nothing else" he smiled.

"Seems like a nice place to move to" she commented as they made to leave together, "the natives are friendly...though from your accent I'm guessing you're not from around here" she was glad to get the opportunity to ask him a couple of questions at last.

"Nah, I hail from across the Atlantic" he told her as they exited the Espresso Pump and headed down the street, "Dad emigrated out here and we followed not long after the wedding"

"Oh, you're married" she asked with a slight frown, somehow he didn't seem the married kind.

"Widowed" he admitted quietly, "Dru's gone now"

Buffy felt horribly guilty for mentioning it now, presumably that's why he was so quiet in conversations about family and so forth.

"I'm so sorry" she apologised immediately a hand on his arm as they stopped walking outside where he worked.

"S'not your fault pet" he smiled good-naturedly, "You weren't to know"

There was a moments silence when she realised where her hand had strayed to and she pulled it back.

"Can I ask how long?" she said carefully, concerned she might be upsetting him.

"It'd be our sixteenth anniversary in a few months, but she's been gone five years" he told her, unsure which was the answer she was looking for. Part of him was glad to talk about it with someone who didn't already know all the details near as good as he himself did, but another part was just reminded of what he'd lost, and what Dawn had lost, "This is me" he said, suddenly feeling the need to get away, he pointed toward the building bearing the name of his father's company and Buffy nodded.

"It was nice meeting you Spike" she told him, "Coffee spillage not withstanding" she smiled, almost laughing at the ridiculous little spat they'd had in that first minute of meeting. It had been sort of stupid.

"Yeah, nice meeting you too, Buffy" he agreed, "Maybe I'll see you around"

"Maybe" she nodded a she went into the building and she headed back towards the motel. At least she'd made a few friends in this town, but they were not the people she had in mind to be meeting...

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : Reviews make me want to write more and post faster, it's a proven fact, so please hit that little button down there and review!


	3. Laughter and Tears

A/N : Thanx to; vanillagigglez, Moonjava, Xtremely-Canadian, OnlyHaveEyesForYou, katie, Demonica Mills, Celestia Nailo, SlaYeRGiRLkaL, Brunettepet, bella-lover, sheilamarie, Marian, pixiecorn, Mita427, Moluvsnumber17 for the latest reviews. I'm glad you all like this so far, and I hope it continues to be a popular story, I have big plans, but I don't want to give anything away yet...  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 3 - Laughter and Tears

"Wake up, sleepy head" Buffy smiled as she ruffled her cousins hair.

"Huh?" Xander said into the pillow as he began to stir, "Just five more minutes, Mom"

Buffy laughed at him as she sat on the end of the bed. Xander could sleep for his country. If it was an Olympic sport he would have medals she was sure, but trying to wake him up was always a fun game...

"It's not your Mom, it's Buffy" she said before continuing, "I had a nice walk, met some people"

"Uh-huh" came the mumbled reply.

"Oh yeah, a bunch of guys, all big and muscley" she lied like a pro, Xander made no sound or movement, "So they asked me to go back their place with them and we watched TV and ate ice-cream and...then we had an orgy with their next door neighbours on the front lawn..."

"That's nice" Xander replied as he began to wake up properly. Buffy bit her lip to keep from laughing as he sat bolt up right with a look on his face that was pure shock.

"What! How! What!" he exclaimed and Buffy collapsed into a fit of giggles.

"Oh my God, you are so totally gullible!" she choked out as laughter shook her body. Xander just watched her for a while til she calmed down.

"That was a mean trick to plan on the Xan-man" he said grumpily, playfully shoving her with his elbow, "but it is nice to see you laugh like that" he added with a smile as the pair hugged each other.

It was true, there really hadn't been a lot to laugh about in Buffy's life. She'd be thirty later this year, and what had she got to show for it. Apart from Xander, the blonde really couldn't think of anything. There were only things she used to have and had now lost.

"What did you really do whilst you were out?" Xander asked her as they pulled away from each other again.

"Oh I actually did meet some people" she told him, "There was a couple, Willow and Daniel Osbourne, and this guy they work with called Spike Giles"

"Spike? That's a weird name" the brunette frowned, wondering what sort of people his cousin had been mixing with. Even as old as she was, he still worried about her as if she were a child.

"His real name is William" she remembered, "he's a widower"

"That's gotta be tough" her cousin sympathised, he couldn't imagine loving someone so much and losing them that way. In this serious moment he suddenly starting laughing.

"You trying a new tie-dye affect on your shirt, or did you just miss your mouth with your coffee?" he asked Buffy as he noticed the huge stain on the front of her white top.

"Oh, that was Spike, we kind of met in the coffee shop when we crashed into each other" she laughed, "It's no big, but I should probably change..." she trailed off as she headed for the bathroom between Xander's room and her own.

"When do I get to meet these friends of yours?" he asked just before she disappeared.

"I dunno" Buffy stopped in the doorway of the bathroom and turned back to answer him, "I only spent a half hour with them, I probably won't even see them again"

* * *

Spike was watching the clock. It seemed he'd been more nervous about Dawn's first day at high school than even she was. She was his little girl and since they'd lost Dru they'd come to depend on each other even more, though Dawn had always been more of a Daddy's girl, truth be told. It didn't matter that she wasn't a physical part of him or Drusilla, she was as much his daughter as any child ever could be. He could tell that by the way he worried so much about her.

As soon as the clock said it was time to go, he raced out of the door and was down the stairs in a flash. Willow and Oz saw just a blur of black and leather as he swept past.

"He worries so much" she said somewhat sadly "Drusilla meant so much to him, Dawn's all he has left now"

"Don't get upset, honey" her husband put an arm around her shoulders and squeezed her to him.

"I'm okay" Willow assured him with a small smile, "It's just such a shame that he doesn't have a woman in his life now. Dawn's at an age when she needs a female influence...I mean, Spike does his best but..."

"Hey, is this all about Spike?" Oz asked with a slight frown, slightly panicked by his wife's fascination with this topic suddenly. Was she trying to tell him something?

"Yes and no" she admitted, though it wasn't what he thought, "Sometimes I just think, what would we do without each other? I couldn't stand to lose you the way Spike lost Dru, I couldn't..."

"You won't lose me" Oz silenced her with a finger on her lips, "And I won't lose you, not ever" he promised, leaning in to kiss her briefly. Their love was forever, they could not imagine being apart, they never would be.

* * *

"My turn for the bathroom!" Xander announced dodging in there as soon as Buffy came out. She'd been in there a while, soaking in the bath, washing her hair, and everything, just trying to relax. It wasn't easy.

"You cannot be that desperate Xan" Buffy wasn't sure whether to laugh or be slightly grossed out til he called back.

"I just want to shower Buff, we're going out"

Buffy frowned as she walked across the room and peered out of the window at the aptly named _Sunny_dale.

"We can't afford to go out" she reminded him, a slight sadness in her voice, although the money issue really wasn't that big of a deal for her. All that mattered was finding the girl she missed so much...She got lost on her thoughts until her cousin returned.

"We can't afford to go out in a going out sense" Xander explained from the door, having just had the quickest shower known to man, "but there has to be, I dunno an ice-cream place or something in this town"

"I did see one" Buffy remembered, "and I gotta admit, a dish of Cookie Dough sounds appealing right now"

Xander smiled when she did, he knew her so well. You want to get Buffy smiling, you offer her ice-cream, it'd been that way since they were kids. Some things never changed.

* * *

Spike sat in his black 4x4 outside of Sunnydale High School, waiting for his little girl to come out. He remembered so clearly her first day at kindergarten, how she'd been in tears when he and Dru had dropped her off, seemingly petrified they wouldn't come back or something. By the end of the day she'd been grinning and skipping along with a couple of new friends.

Spike felt both angry and heart-broken when he saw her now, looking like she was close to crying as she exited the school and walked towards the car alone.

"What's up, Sweet Bit?" he asked as she climbed into the car.

"Nothing, really, it's fine" she said bravely, focusing on the view out of the windshield. Spike was having none of it.

"Come on now" he frowned slightly, "I know when there's something up with my girl" he reminded her, "just tell me"

"Really, it's not that big a deal" she shook her head, "It's just, we were talking, me and Janice, about maybe trying-out to be cheerleaders. There were some juniors, girls I used to know actually. They said some stuff about us never being pretty enough or good enough" she knew how silly she was being. A few stupid comments from air-headed girls, but it still hurt.

Spike sighed as he reached out and lifted her chin, turning her head til she was looking at him again.

"You are prettier and more talented than the lot of them put together" he assured her, "So don't you let those silly bints get you down, okay?"

The smile that broke out on her face was genuine and bright as she reached over and hugged her father.

"I love you, Dad" she told him as he hugged her back.

"I love you too, baby" he replied, kissing the top of her head, "Now, get yourself back in that seat and belted up, cos I feel a trip to Gino's coming on" he smirked, knowing what reaction that would get.

"Oh, I could so go for one of their triple chocolate-fudge sundaes right now" she said, bouncing in her seat.

Spike smiled as he pulled the car onto the road and headed for the other side of town where the ice-cream parlour resided.

"So, tell me about your first day" he urged her, "Just leave out the part with the stupid bitches, okay?"

Dawn smiled widely as she told him all about her new school, some new friends she'd made, her classes, and of course the all important who's dating who now the Summer's over. Regardless of the fact Spike was less than enthralled by the fact that RJ had dumped Nina, and that Stephanie's sister was pregnant, he just loved to hear Dawnie talk so animatedly to him about everything.

Who would have thought that this girl was the same one that was almost in tears when she'd come out of the school building. But Spike knew there was always a guaranteed way to make his girl smile. The magic word was ice-cream and it always had been, since she was a kid. Some things never changed.

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : I know it's a v. short chapter, but there will be more soon, and possibly faster if you all review and say nice things!


	4. Ice Cream Dreams

A/N : Another slightly shorter chapter, but you guys don't seem to mind the shortness as long as I keep the updates coming as regularly as I can, so that's good. Thanx to; Girl version of Chandler, Brunettepet, Moonjava, vanillagigglez, katie, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Dark Drusilla, Demonica Mills, Mita427, Xtremely-Canadian, OnlyHaveEyesForYou, Onion Petal, sheilamarie, LisaMR, spuffygrl, Moluvsnumber17, Verity, bella-lover, Celestia Nailo, and Max, for the latest reviews. Now, time for ice-cream...  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 4 - Ice Cream Dreams

"Seems everybody had the same idea we did, Bit" Spike sighed as he and Dawn arrived at Gino's Ice-Cream Bar, only to find that practically every seat was already taken.

"I think there's a space over there" the young girl pointed as she stood up on her toes to try and see. Spike who was substantially taller could see she was right and told her to go grab the two-seater table while she could and he'd order at the counter since they already knew what they wanted.

"'Scuse me luv" he called to one of the waitresses behind the counter, "Two chocolate sundaes please, heavy on the chocolate" he winked. The young girl smiled as she went to fulfil his order and Spike leaned back on the counter to wait. He spotted that Dawn had managed to grab the table and was currently talking with a girl he thought he recognised as one of her school mates. When he turned back around to see if any progress was being made with his order, he caught sight of a female head of blonde hair that he also thought he recognised.

"Buffy?" he ventured, making her look at him with a smile.

"Spike, hi" she greeted, picking up two dishes of ice-cream from the counter and turning back around, feeling a little more daring than usual she asked "You're not gonna make me spill my ice-cream, are you?"

Spike didn't know why he had to force down the colour he felt rising in his cheeks. The coffee incident before wasn't that embarrassing, was it?

"Oh, no, no" he told her quickly, "I only spill things on beautiful women once a day, I'm trying to cut down"

Both of them were slightly surprised that the word 'beautiful' had crept into that sentence, and it was Buffy's turn to blush slightly as his eyes didn't leave her face. He was trying to work out why he'd phrased it that way and he realised what his sub-conscious must already have picked up, Buffy really was a beautiful woman, especially now she was smiling and also trying not to turn red.

"Buffy, over here!" a male voice yelled to the side and both she and Spike turned to see a brunette waving for her to come and sit down before the ice-cream melted completely.

"I have to go" she said, somewhat regretfully, "but it was nice to see you again"

"Yeah, you too, pet" he replied, wondering as she walked away why it bothered him that she was with another bloke. He'd only met her that same day and she wasn't that special, was she?

"Excuse me, sir" the girl behind the counter repeated and he turned to find her smiling and gesturing to the two sundaes on the counter top.

"Oh, right" Spike shook himself out of his daze, paid for the ice-creams and took them over to the table where Dawn was waiting.

"Who was that woman you were talking to?" she asked immediately, having seen the whole exchange from her seat.

"Someone I met at the coffee shop today" he told his daughter as they both dug into their sundaes "Her name is Buffy"

Dawn almost choked on a piece of chocolate fudge.

"Buffy? That's a name?" she asked, trying to not laugh long enough that she could swallow properly, "That's stupid"

"Says the girl with the father named Spike" the bleached-blond rolled his eyes and Dawn shook her head as she swallowed her next mouthful.

"But Spike is a nickname" she argued, "plus it's cool and dangerous and tough"

Spike couldn't help but smile at that. It was almost exactly what Dru had said to him the day she'd come up with the name and decided it should be his own. At first he didn't think it suited him, and it really didn't when he still had the glasses and poncey hair and stuff, but she transformed every aspect of him and brought out the wild side he wasn't even sure he knew he had. God how he missed his Drusilla.

"...but if that's her real name" he was suddenly aware that Dawn was still talking, "Buffy is just..."

"Buffy is just a very nice lady" he interrupted, "So hush your noise about her okay?" he said a little more sternly than he meant to. Still, Dawn took it lightly as always.

"Yes, sir" she nodded, giving a mock salute with her spoon and despite himself he smiled.

"Cheeky madam" he said, ruffling her hair and making her yell about messing up her style, "Eat your ice-cream before it melts" he told her, gesturing with his spoon, before digging into his own sundae, all the time stealing glances at a blonde across the room.

* * *

"Who was the guy?" Xander asked as soon as Buffy got back to the table with two dishes of fairly plain looking ice-cream. Less complicated was less expensive.

"What guy?" she shook her head, just now coming out of a daze it seemed said guy had inflicted upon her, "Oh, that was Spike" she smiled, hoping her cheeks were no longer pink. She could do without explaining it to Xander.

"Coffee shop guy?" her cousin guessed, shoving vanilla ice-cream into his mouth.

"Yeah" Buffy nodded, looking over at Spike and turning back fast when she realised he was also looking at her, "He's nice" she added absently, as she started to eat the contents of her own dish.

"Looks like a freak to me" Xander complained, he didn't like the way the bleached blond was staring at his cousin or the way she was stealing glances at him. He was very protective over Buffy, ever since Angel... "Besides, he has a girl with him, so don't get too attached Buff" he added swiftly.

Buffy rolled her eyes at him, not bothering to look and see the girl her cousin had mentioned.

"I'm not attached, Xand" she told him, "I only met him today. He's just a nice guy is all" she shrugged, before changing the subject completely.

Despite her appearance of indifference, it did bother her somewhat that Spike had a girlfriend. She knew he'd been married and that he'd lost his wife and a small part of her had been really glad he was single, however unfeeling that made her. Now it seemed he wasn't quite so available and despite the fact she had no real intention of dating him it was hard to hide the disappointment she felt.

"...so first thing tomorrow I'll try both the places and with any luck one of them will want me" Buffy was only half aware of Xander still talking as she concentrated mostly on wondering why she was so bothered about Spike's love life, that and eating her ice-cream obviously.

"Who wouldn't want you?" she smiled, catching the end of what he said. He was referring of course to places where he might be able to get a job, another thing that Buffy had to worry about, "I just can't think who's going to want to employ me, I mean, I don't have the worlds greatest resume" she shook her head sadly.

"Hey" Xander reached across the table to put his hand over hers, "it was hardly your fault about High School, and y'know, you've done okay since then. Shop work, office jobs, plus you took those night classes"

"It's just basic computer knowledge and stuff, Xand" she sighed, dropping her spoon into the melted remains of her ice-cream, "It's nothing special"

Xander hated to see her so down, and Buffy didn't like feeling this way but sometimes it just felt like everything was against her. The Powers That Be had thrown one false hope after another at Buffy Summers, since she was fifteen years old. She was beginning to wonder if this trip to Sunnydale and a guy named Spike were set to be the latest in that long list.

* * *

As soon as Spike and Dawn arrived back home he reminded her to do her homework. Begrudgingly the teen got out her books and sat down at the table to work. She really didn't mind it so much, she was averagely smart and her Dad always helped her whenever she hit a maths problem she couldn't figure out or a passage in a play for English that didn't make any sense to her.

At the same time, Spike would run the vacuum around the house or get around to doing the dishes left from last night or breakfast. He had to be mother and father to Dawn, as well as the house keeper and the money earner. He never complained, though secretly he wished things were different.

Obviously to have never lost Dru would've been indescribably wonderful, but since she was most definitely gone, he sometimes wondered if he should look for a new woman in his life. It would not be long before Dawn was dating and time would fly by without him noticing. She could be married with her own children in ten years time or less and then Spike would be alone, even more so than he was without his wife.

"Dad?" Dawn called again from the kitchen doorway as her father stared off into space, no longer drying the dish in his hand but just holding it, "Dad?"

"Sorry, Bit" he physically shook himself when he realised she was there, "What's up?"

"Nothing really" she shrugged, "I just finished my homework and you were so quiet in here I came to see if you were okay"

Spike had a habit of singing when he was doing house-work and Dawn would never tell him but he sometimes completely distracted her from her homework with his songs. He had a great voice and played guitar very well, she was always teasing him that he should have been a rock star.

"Course I'm okay, luv" Spike smiled as his daughter walked over and gave him a hug and he kissed the top of her head, "You don't have to worry about me, sweetheart, it's my job to do that for you"

"But that's twice today you've zoned out on me" she frowned, looking up at him from under his arm that still held her, "It's just...well, you haven't been this..thoughtful since Mom..." her sentence disappeared as she came to the words she hated saying.

"Honestly, Dawnie, I am okay" he promised her, "Though I admit, your Mum has been on my mind. I dunno why now especially, I just miss her is all" he sighed.

"Me too" his daughter agreed, feeling the need to hug Spike again. Apart from her Grandpa Giles, the only family Dawn had was her father, since she was adopted and there had only been the three people in the family that took her in as their own. Now with her mother gone, the world was an even more lonely place.

She loved her father dearly and he meant the world to her but she did miss having a woman around that she could talk to about things. It was hard being a teenage girl without a mother, and she knew that Spike realised it. He tried so hard to understand her and for the most part he did pretty well, but there was always a slight discomfort for both of them when the subject of boys arose or more decidedly female aspects of growing up. There were times when she'd ask Willow about things but the red-head was easily embarrassed and Dawn knew she had her own kids to deal with so she mostly kept herself to herself, constantly day-dreaming about the mother she wished she still had.

Spike did his fair share of wishing that he'd wake up and find out Drusilla being gone was all a nightmare, even now years on, but today when he thought of her, he felt a pang of guilt. She was the only woman he'd ever really dated, definitely the only one he'd ever truly loved. Now here he was inadvertently telling Buffy she was beautiful and finding that her face stuck in his mind of it's own accord. He'd been embarrassed in front of her, something he rarely ever was in anyone's company, and the thought of her with that other bloke he'd spotted at the ice-cream parlour was bothering him too.

Somehow, despite the fact he'd only known her a day, Spike realised he really did like Buffy, and also that he was ridiculously concerned about what Dru would think of that fact. He knew deep down he was being an idiot, and that he was quite allowed to find other women attractive, especially since he was technically unattached, but until now he'd never really even looked at another woman that way. Perhaps Buffy Summers was more special than he'd originally given her credit for.

To Be Continued...


	5. Apply Within

A/N : Moonjava, vanillagigglez, Demonica Mills, bella-lover, katie, Girl version of Chandler, Mita427, star2421, Brunettepet, Moluvsnumber17, spuffygrl, and Celestia Nailo - thanx you guys for all the kind words and encouragement with this story. You rock, as always.  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 5 - Apply Within

Tuesday morning at Giles' Electronics and Spike was having trouble concentrating on his work. Firstly there was Dawn, his little girl who despite the brave smile on her face this morning was clearly not ecstatic about going to school today. Yesterday had not gone hugely well and despite having managed to cheer her up afterwards, Spike knew she didn't relish the idea of going there day in and day out. Still, he'd told her it would get better, and he was almost certain he was right. It did not stop him worrying about her though. Over the years he'd found a vast amount of his role as a father consisted of worrying about his little girl.

The second thing that was keeping his mind off his work was another female, or in truth two. Buffy was stuck in his head, refusing to leave him alone. He'd spent just a few minutes with her on two occasions yesterday and all he wanted to do was see her again, get to know her better. This led to thoughts of Dru, and guilt because he was betraying her memory by looking at another woman that way. It was stupid, but Spike was loyal to the point of the ridiculous and thinking of Buffy in that kind of way made him feel like he was cheating on his dead wife.

"For the third time, William!" Giles stood behind the younger man, trying to get his attention as he stared blankly at the screen. Finally he seemed to remember where he was and why, and he turned to see his father's irritated expression.

"You want somethin', Dad?" he asked innocently, as if he didn't know he'd annoyed him. Giles sighed tiredly.

"I was simply trying to remind you that I am interviewing for a Personal Assistant today, and will be unavailable until at least two o'clock" he explained.

Spike gave a snort of laughter.

"Let's hope you have better judgement this time" he said with a smirk, "That Anya was bloody awful"

"I think awful is a little strong" his father frowned, "She was just..."

"Loud? Obnoxious?" Spike suggested, "Perverted? Obsessive? A complete bloody bi..."

"That's quite enough William!" Giles said sternly as a worried looking young woman appeared in the doorway.

"Hi, I'm here for an interview" she said cautiously, Giles switched on a smile as he walked over to the door and invited her in, "Miss Kendall, I presume?"

"Oh please" she giggled, "Call me, Harmony"

Spike rolled his eyes as he watched his father lead the ridiculous blonde through to his office. He prayed to God that silly bint didn't get the job. His father needed someone sensible, some chit with her head screwed on, and a little bit of fire to keep him on his toes. Before the diabolical Anya, there'd been Fred, and she and Spike had got on famously. There was never any romantic feeling between them, for one thing she had a fiancé and he was still grieving for Drusilla but she was a friendly sort and smart too.

Anyway, there was work to be done, and who dear old Dad got for an assistant was a disagreement best left for later. At least for ten minutes Spike hadn't been thinking about Buffy.

* * *

Three hours. That's how long it'd been since Xander had left for his interview. He'd promised to call his cousin as soon as he got out of his interview to let her know how it went. In the meantime Buffy had checked all the local papers and was now trawling around the shops, checking the windows for job vacancy ads.

The blonde was just starting to worry about her cousin when her cellphone rang into life and she rapidly answered it.

"Xander?"

"Buffy, it's incredible!" he called down the phone to her, "I got the job! There were three other guys waiting to be interviewed but the guy told me I already got it!"

"Oh Xan, that's great!" his cousin enthused, "I'm so happy for you"

They talked for a short while about his new job on a local construction site, how much he would be getting paid and what his hours would be and so forth.

"How goes the job search for you?" he asked Buffy eventually and there was a long-ish pause before she answered.

"Oh, well, I..." she was about to admit she'd found nothing she could actually do when she came face to face with what looked to be her salvation, "I have another interview to go to" she said with a slight smile as she read the ad in the window. It'd be a great job if she could get it.

"Wouldn't it be great if we both had jobs by the end of the day?" her cousin said through the phone. Buffy nodded absently as she finished reading the ad, "Buff?" she'd forgotten that her cousin couldn't actually see her.

"Oh, yeah, Xand. I have to go now...for my interview. I'll see you later" she said quickly hanging up the phone and pushing the door to the building open.

"Hi" she said cheerily to the lady behind the reception desk, "I was wondering, about the job ad in the window..."

"Oh, I'm sorry" the girl with the name-tag that said Anne shook her head sympathetically, "That should have been taken down yesterday"

"Someone already got the job, huh?" Buffy sighed in defeat.

"Not exactly" the other blonde explained, "the interviews are today, all applications had to be in by yesterday. I'm sorry" she said, feeling really bad for Buffy who's bright smile had completely disappeared, like black clouds coming to cover up the sun.

"Just poppin' out for some fags, Annie" an English voice called as it's owner hurtled down the last few steps of the flight of stairs and headed for the door, almost knocking Buffy over just outside, "Oops, sorry pet, I didn't...Buffy?" Spike looked surprised to see her, and she him when she turned and saw him standing there.

"What are you doing here?" they said together, both stopping and laughing a little at that.

"I work here, luv, remember?" Spike answered first, "This is the old man's firm"

Buffy looked up and saw the sign proclaiming it to be Giles Electronics and she nodded that she did indeed remember.

"Well then, I guess I almost got a job working for your Dad" she smiled, despite her disappointment, "I'm a little late though, applications had to be in yesterday"

Spike frowned. He'd almost had the opportunity to spend more time with Buffy and that was being snatched away because of some stupid bloody time limit on job applications? Bugger that.

"Who says it's too late?" he smirked.

"Well, I think her name was Anne..." Buffy gestured back inside and Spike shook his head.

"Annie just sorts the candidates and gives them all a time to turn up cos dear old Dad doesn't have the time" he explained, "and he won't know if she slips an extra name on the bottom of the list"

"I couldn't ask her to do that" Buffy shook her head and turned to walk away but Spike reached for her arm with his hand. She stopped and turned back, both of them glancing between his hand and the others face.

"You're not asking her, I'm telling her" he said firmly, letting his hand slip from her arm, "Call it perks of being the boss' son" he tilted his head and smirked once again.

"Thankyou" Buffy smiled even more brightly than before, "You have no idea what this means to me" in a moment of probable madness she stepped forward and hugged him briefly, right there in the middle of the street. For a split second Spike was shocked but at the same time he really did not want to let go, of course he knew he had to.

"Don't thank me yet, luv" he said, opening the door and encouraging her back into the building, "You haven't got the job yet"

"But I have the interview" she smiled as they walked over to speak to Anne again, "and that means I have a shot, thanks to you"

"My pleasure, pet" he told her as she dug in her bag for another copy of her resume. He found he meant that more sincerely that he'd meant anything in a long time.

Buffy's interview was to be at two forty-five, giving her just enough time to run back to the motel and freshen up and prepare a little. If Mr Giles was anything like his son, well that could be a good thing or a bad thing she surmised. If he was gorgeous like Spike there was just no way she was going to be able to concentrate, but if he was as sweet and thoughtful, well then that would definitely be appreciated right now.

Inside the office, Spike was wondering if maybe he should tell his father about Buffy, maybe put in an extra good word for her, but then Giles would want to know why he was doing it and he really couldn't deal with that right now.

The clock soon said quarter to three and his eyes followed his father out of the office with the previous job applicant, and back in again with Buffy on his heels. She shot him a quick glance as she passed his desk and he winked at her, smiling slightly when she ducked her head because he'd made her blush.

"Was that Buffy?" Willow asked as soon as the blonde had disappeared into the other office with her boss.

"Er, yeah, I think so" Spike shrugged.

Oz stifled a smile as he looked over at his friend. He'd seen the look pass between the two blondes, but he'd keep his mouth shut for now. He wasn't the type to gossip.

Spike couldn't keep his eyes off the office door and barely got any work done for the full ten minutes that Buffy was in there with his Dad. When she came out he was a little worried that the interview was over so fast. There was no way it could've gone well and it saddened him. For some unknown reason he really liked this woman and having her working in the next room would make it so much easier to get to know her without the pressure of having to ask her out or anything major. Now it seemed he was unlucky...or was he?

"Splendid, I'll shall look forward to seeing you tomorrow, Miss Summers" Giles smiled, holding out his hand and shaking hers.

Buffy couldn't stop grinning as she shook the man's hand.

"Thankyou so much, Mr Giles" she said gratefully, "I promise, I won't let you down"

Spike stared into the computer screen, telling himself not to turn around and make an obvious pratt of himself, but he was completely thrilled that Buffy had got the job.

"I have no doubt you'll do an admirable job" his father told the young woman as he led her towards the door.

"Oh, I should hurry home, before it rains" she said, suddenly noticing the black clouds through the window. It seemed ironic that since she'd arrived in town it'd done more than live up to it's name being constantly sunny. Now suddenly she was in a light and happy mood and the rain was about to pour down!

"Oh dear" Giles frowned, "Really Miss Summers I don't think you'll make it without getting wet through...William?" he called to his son and Spike innocently turned around as if he hadn't been eavesdropping at all.

"What's up, Dad?" he asked getting to his feet and switching off the computer, "I was just heading out"

"You could give Miss Summers a lift home, could you not?" he suggested, "It isn't far from your normal route"

Buffy shifted uncomfortably. The address she'd given was slightly fake, since she could hardly admit she was living temporarily at a motel. Instead she'd given just the name of the street the place was on, knowing there were apartments further down the road and hoping the lack of exact location would not be noticed.

"Sure thing" Spike responded to his fathers question with a casual smile, though inside he felt like a giddy teenager.

"Really, I don't wanna be any trouble, I can walk" Buffy protested, but Spike shook his head as he walked over to the door and opened it for her like a gentleman.

"Wouldn't hear of it, pet" he smiled, "I gotta go now anyway, pick up Dawnie"

With that the pair said goodbye and left the building, both smiling like idiots.

"Thankyou so much for this, Spike" Buffy said gratefully as they walked to his car, and he unlocked it.

"S'only a ride home" he shrugged, knowing that's not what she meant, but feeling far too embarrassed to take any thanks for the job. He hadn't felt this bashful since before he'd met Dru, and he was starting to wonder what the hell was wrong with him!

"I meant the job" she told him as he held open the car door for her and she climbed in, "I never would've even have got the opportunity to try for it if you hadn't..."

"Oh hush" he interrupted, rolling her eyes, "S'just a job luv, it's not as great as all that, and my part in it barely counts for anything" he knew he was only being this way because he couldn't handle the praise from her. To her credit, Buffy realised his problem and shut her mouth, though she couldn't help smiling. Spike seemed like such a tough guy, but give the man a compliment and he was like a blushing teen.

"So" she decided to change the subject as they drove along "is Dawn your girlfriend?"

The look he gave her was stunned to stay the least, but also partially amused, and Buffy regretted asking.

"I'm sorry, that's really none of my business" she shook her head "Bad, bad Buffy"

"No, it's fine" Spike assured her, not meaning to make her feel bad "it's just...Dawn's my daughter" he explained ad the woman beside him blushed, going so far as to hide her face behind her hands briefly.

"Oh, now I feel stupid" she told him, as Spike tried desperately not to laugh at her. It was nice to know he looked young enough to pass for a teenager's boyfriend though, and clearly Buffy was interested in whether or not he was dating. Was that a good thing? He wasn't sure yet.

"How old is she?" Buffy asked, bringing him out of his thoughts.

"Oh, um, Dawn is fourteen" he told her "She just started High School yesterday"

"Wow" came the response, and he wrongly assumed she was stunned that he was old enough to have a daughter that age. In reality she was just thinking about the person she'd come to town to find. She would be fourteen too by now. Just thinking of how much she would've changed brought tears to Buffy's eyes that she fought hard to hide.

"You okay, luv?" Spike asked when she went suddenly too quiet.

"Yeah" she nodded gently, hoping the water in her eyes would stay where it was "I'm fine" she told him with a fake smile, her stomach doing flips as she realised that any one of the freshman girls that came pouring out of Sunnydale High today could be her long lost daughter.

To Be Continued...


	6. Awkward Situations

A/N : Thanx so much to; vanillagigglez, Moonjava, Mita427, bella-lover, Brunettepet, demonica mills, sheilamarie, Dark Drusilla, LisaMR, xmadbrilliant, star2421, Xtremely-Canadian, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, EMBER91, katie, spuffygrl, amy, and Moluvsnumber17 - you all rock entirely for taking the time to review my story. So everyone seems to think Dawn is Buffy's daughter. All I can say is it's fun to see you all guessing, but the truth will only be revealed during the story, I'm not giving anything away til the plot leads us there - aren't I cruel? lol. But I'm updating today, so I can't be that bad, right?  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 6 - Awkward Conversations

Spike knew he should say something. Despite the fact the distance from his place of work to the High School took just ten minutes to cover in the car, he and Buffy had spent the last six in silence, and not the comfortable kind.

"You okay, luv?" he asked her, eyes flitting from the road to her face for just a moment, "You're awfully quiet there"

"Sorry" she shook her head, bringing herself out a daze "I'm fine" she assured him, though it was an outright lie. Her mind was in over-drive thinking about the child she'd come to Sunnydale to find, the one that might walk right past her in a matter of minutes and she wouldn't even know about it.

"I feel like I've given you half my life story over the last couple of days but I still don't know anything about you" Spike said as casually as he could " What's your story, pet?" He hoped that had come out okay. It sounded fine in his head, but had he just made an idiot of himself by actually saying it?

"Kinda boring really" Buffy shrugged "My parents split when I was sixteen, Dad left the country a little while after and I haven't seen him since" she explained, staring out the window the whole time "Mom died three years ago now, which would have left me pretty much alone except I had Xander. He's really been more like a brother to me than a cousin"

Spike spared her a look and nodded that he understood what she meant. Willow and Oz had been more than friends to him, more or less family when he needed them so badly. He knew Dawn saw them as an Aunt and Uncle really.

"No blokes about then" Spike pressed to make conversation "other than your cousin"

'Smooth Spike, really smooth' a voice in his head taunted, 'You stupid bloody poof, do you want to come off sounding desperate!'

His mental argument finished just in time to park the car straight, outside of Sunnydale High, and to catch Buffy's highly uncomfortable expression.

"Sorry, none of my business" he said quickly as he shut the engine off and they waited for the kids to come out of the school.

"It's okay" Buffy told him, knowing she'd made him feel bad when it really wasn't his fault. She'd only had two major relationships, if you could even count one of them as that, and both had ended so badly, it was really the last thing she wanted to talk about right now.

"Er, tell me if this is another bad question" he said next and she turned to look at him, since now they'd stopped moving it seemed silly to keep staring out of the window "but, how come you came to Sunnydale? I mean, it's hardly a place you move into unless you have family here or something"

"It's sort of complicated" she told him, "and I can't really explain it all right now"

It was weird but a part of her really wanted to tell him, there was just something about this guy, she thought he might understand. Besides he was really quite attractive and he'd been so nice to her so far...

"Hey" a voice by the open window made her jump slightly from her thoughts.

"Hey there, Nibblet" Spike grinned at the girl standing by the car, "Good day at school?"

"Not bad" the brunette shrugged, and Buffy realised this must be Dawn, especially when the kid stuck a hand at her and announced, "Hi, I'm Dawn Giles"

"Hi" Buffy smiled, shaking the girls hand, "I'm Buffy, Buffy Summers"

"Oh, the blonde from the ice-cream parlour" Dawn recalled, shooting a look at her father who shot his own one back and told her to hurry up and get in the car. If the clouds were anything to go by they were about to have a downpour, unusual for Sunnydale but not wholly unheard of.

Dawn scrambled into the back of the car and put on her seatbelt as Spike put the car in gear and pulled away from the kerb.

"Those girls give you any more grief today, Dawnie?" he asked his daughter as they drove along.

"Nah, it was cool" she shook her head, and Buffy watched her in the rear view mirror. The brunette noticed and decided to make conversation with her Dad's new friend, "Hey Buffy, did you like High School?"

"Er, yeah, I guess" the blonde was kind of surprised by the question and not at all at ease when it came to answering, "I suppose everyone has their good times and bad times"

"Were you popular?" Dawn wanted to know, "Like a cheerleader or whatever?"

"Yes, actually, I was" Buffy frowned, looking at Spike who sighed.

"Dawn" he called into the back of the car, "Give it a rest with twenty questions, eh pet?"

"I was just making conversation" she said grumpily, folding her arms over her chest and pouting like a child at least five years younger than she was. Sometimes when she behaved that way, she reminded Spike of Drusilla. His princess would sulk something chronic when she didn't get her way, though that hardly ever happened, he could deny her nothing.

"Could you stop here?" Buffy broke his train of thought and he pulled over by a large apartment block. The rain was coming down pretty fast now and Buffy prepared to run from the vehicle to the shelter of the building, "Thanks for the ride and for helping with the job" she said with a grateful smile.

"You're very welcome, pet" Spike assured her, "I guess I'll see you tomorrow"

"You will" she nodded, "It was nice to meet you Dawn" she called into the back as she opened the door and ran.

"You too!" Dawn yelled behind her as Spike leant over to wind up the window that was letting in rain-water, one eye watching Buffy dart into the apartment building. With a sigh he pulled the car away from the kerb and headed for home.

"So that was Buffy, huh?" Dawn asked innocently as she could and Spike smiled a little when he replied.

"Yeah, that's Buffy"

Down the street, the blonde they spoke of peeked her head out of the apartment block and saw the tail lights of the car disappear around the corner. As soon as she was sure Spike and Dawn were gone she ran out into the pouring rain and darted down the street to the motel. Though it wasn't all that far, it was raining hard enough that she got soaked through, but it was all worth it. Getting a job was worth it, and as stupid as it was after just two days of acquaintance, Buffy felt like Spike was worth it too.

* * *

"Come on then" Spike sighed as he and Dawn came into the house, "Out with it"

"Out with what?" she pretended not to understand as she pushed the hood of her jacket off her head and dumped her school bag on the floor.

"With the reason for why you were so quiet in the car" he said as if it were obvious, "and don't you tell me it's cos Buffy was there cos even after she got out the car you were still little miss quiet-as-a-mouse" he pointed out "It's just not like you, pet" he was frowning slightly now as he sat down on the sofa and she came to join him. He didn't like it when she was quiet, it meant something was wrong. In that respect she was very like him, and it always made him stop and think how she'd turned out so like him and Dru, when technically she was not their child at all.

"I was just thinking is all" the girl sighed, looking at the carpet, "You like Buffy, right?" she chanced, glancing over at her father who tilted his head thoughtfully.

"Sure" he nodded slowly, "She's a nice lady"

"Yeah, I get that" Dawn agreed, picking at the nail polish on her fingernails, "But you _really_ like her...don't you?"

It was only when she stressed the 'really' like that and gave him a look that he realised what she meant.

"Ah, do I _really_ like her..." he repeated the question as more of a statement as he considered it.

He knew it was true, that he was beginning to like Buffy that way, even though he'd known her for a ridiculously short amount of time, but did he want Dawn to know that? Should he tell his daughter what he was feeling before he even told the woman he was having the feelings about? Well, let's face it, who else would he tell?

"Dad?" Dawn pressed, when he still said nothing and ran a hand back through his bleached hair.

"Dawnie, I don't know what to tell you, sweetheart" he said honestly, "You're not completely wrong when you say I like Buffy, cos I think I really do..."

She looked away then and he winced. It probably hurt her to know that a woman other than Dru could mean anything to him, but he was still a man and he was attracted to women, his wife's passing didn't mean he was dead too.

"Hey" he said, reaching hand out to her shoulder and urging her to turn and face him again, "The last thing I would ever want to do is upset you, Little Bit" he promised her, "But you deserve honesty, and that's what you'll always get from me"

"I know" she forced a smile as she nodded in agreement, "and I think it's great that you might have found someone, y'know like a 'your age' person" she told him.

He smiled at that but it wavered when a tear crept down her cheek.

"Then what's this about?" he asked, wiping it away for her. She sniffed into her reply.

"I dunno" she shrugged, "I think, I just...I miss Mom" she admitted, more tears running down her cheeks as she gave in and cried. Spike pulled her to him and hugged her tight, as she buried her face in his shoulder. He rested his chin on top of her head and fought his own tears as he tried to comfort her.

"I miss her too, Dawnie" he told her as he rocked her gently, "Every day, I miss her"

* * *

"Hey Buff, you're soaked" Xander frowned as his cousin entered his room at the motel. He was sprawled across the bed reading as Buffy dripped her way towards him.

"State the obvious much, Xand?" she half-smiled, rolling her eyes as she realised he was half way through an X-men comic, "I'm gonna take a shower, but I have news to give you first...I got a job!" she grinned and without thinking the brunette leapt up from the bed and hugged her tight, getting his shirt soaked in the process.

"That wasn't a good plan" he said, as he pulled away from her and looked down at the wet patch on his front. Buffy just laughed.

"You change whilst I shower, then we can do the whole 'all about my new job' thing, 'kay?"

"Sounds like a plan" her cousin agreed as Buffy disappeared into the bathroom and he rifled through the newly filled closet for a clean shirt.

Half an hour later they were sprawled out in either direction on the bed, as he explained about the job he'd got at a construction site just outside of town where a new housing estate was being built. Then it was Buffy's turn and Xander began to realise as she talked about her day that a vast amount of her story included the name Spike.

"So, this Spike guy" he said casually, "Do I get to meet him?"

"I dunno" Buffy shrugged, looking down at her hands, "Why would you ask that?"

Xander grinned at her attempted innocence.

"Er, cos you mentioned his name like twenty times in as many minutes" he told her.

"No way!" she argued, shoving him in the shoulder, though she was smiling because she knew he was right.

"Way" he countered, just like when they were kids "You're allowed to like him, Buff" he told her when she kept her eyes down almost guiltily, "There's no law against it"

"He asked a lot of questions, Xand" she sighed, "I don't think he meant to but...there was so much I couldn't answer, even though I kinda wanted to"

Xander reached out a hand to her shoulder in a comforting way and she looked up with tears in her eyes.

"Hey, I know you came here for a reason Buff, and I know you don't have stellar history with guys" he sympathised, "but there are some nice ones out there. No-one's saying you gotta marry Spike or whatever, but if you like him, that's okay" he told her.

Buffy managed a smile at that as she reached for the hand on her shoulder and took it in her own.

"What would I do without you, Xand?" she asked, "You're my strength, you've never let me down" she couldn't continue as she burst into a mixture of happy, sad, and confused tears. Her cousin sat them both up and pulled her into a hug.

"What can I say?" he sighed, "I'm one of a kind" he joked gently, pleased he got just a slight laugh out of her, amongst all the sobs that wracked her body. He really hoped that if she had fallen for this Spike guy, that he'd treat her right. After Angel, and then Riley, she deserved a good guy.

"Do you think we'll find her, Xander?" Buffy broken his train of thought, her voice too weak to be her own, he thought as she spoke. He'd half wondered if the tears had been all about the guys in her life, or if someone else was the cause.

"Yes Buffy" he told her, "No matter what else happens, no matter what it takes" he said, moving to see her face when he made the vow, "I promise, we will find the baby you had to give away"

To Be Continued...


	7. Getting To Know You

A/N : Thanx so much to everyone who reviewed; Moonjava, vanillagigglez, EMBER91, Brunettepet, spuffy404, katie, Dark Drusilla, Demonica Mills, LiLi, velja, Marian, TammyDevil666, Moluvsnumber17, Mita427, bella-lover, spuffygrl, sheilamarie, Xtremely-Canadian, and spk. I'm loving writing this, and am so glad you are all loving reading it too.  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 7 - Getting To Know You

"Dawnie, will you slow down with that cereal please luv" Spike urged her as she forced another spoonful in, "You're gonna make yourself sick"

She made some kind of negative noise, waving her spoon around as she tried to swallow.

"You don't wanna be late, do you?" she said around half a mouthful of cornflakes.

"Late for what exactly?" her father frowned, "We don't usually leave for another fifteen minutes" he pointed out, checking his watch against the kitchen clock just in case he was wrong.

"And usually" Dawn told him, putting her now empty bowl in the sink, "you don't have someone to pick up on the way to work" she smiled. He gave her a look like he didn't understand and she rolled her eyes.

"Seriously, Dad, are you trying to make me believe that you weren't going to pick up Buffy on the way?" she asked, hands on her hips, disbelieving look on her face.

Spike hated that she was so right. He had considered it, but after last night and Dawnie's tears about her Mom, that seemed to all start when Buffy was mentioned, he wasn't sure it was such a good idea.

"I s'pose I could offer to give her a ride, seeing as it's on our way..." he said casually as he ran the water to wash the breakfast things. Dawn put a hand on his arm and he turned to look at her.

"I know I got all weird and teary last night" she said glancing at her feet and back at her father, "and it was because I miss Mom, a lot" she admitted "but I spent a lot of time thinking after that, and I realised that I was being kinda unfair"

Spike turned off the faucet and dried his hands as the two sat down by the counter together again. He wanted to pay his daughter proper attention, since what she had to say seemed pretty serious.

"You're still a guy" Dawn smiled ,"and you're not like majorly old or anything" he smiled too at that back-handed compliment, "If you like Buffy I think you should go for it" she said finally but Spike was not convinced she meant it. He wondered if she was just saying it because she thought she had to, and he didn't want her to do that.

"Dawn..." he began but she interrupted, knowing he doubted her words.

"Really, Dad" she assured him, "Mom wouldn't want you to be unhappy and alone, and neither do I" she said solemnly. Spike pulled her into a hug.

"I'm not alone" he said softly, moved by her words, "I have my little girl"

"Always" she replied, squeezing him tight, "but it's not the same thing, and you admitted you liked Buffy" she reminded him as they pulled away from each other.

"I do" he sighed, "but even if I did ask her out, there's nothing to say she'd definitely accept"

Spike was a little put out by the way his daughter began to laugh. Just when she'd been acting like such a grown-up now she was in hysterics at the idea of Buffy not accepting his possible advances? His confusion must of shown on his face as Dawn tried to stop herself laughing and explain why she was doing so anyway.

"Have you seen you?" she asked incredulously, "Any woman would be crazy not to want to date you!"

"Dawn..." he rolled his eyes, believing her to be sarcastic, but she wasn't.

"I'm serious!" she promised him, laughter dying down til just a wide smile remained, "You remember the sleep over I had last birthday, and all the girls showed up in their best clothes and full make-up?" she asked him. Spike thought for a moment then nodded.

"Thought that was a bit odd for a sleep-over, yeah..." he commented and Dawn rolled her eyes this time, sometimes her Dad just didn't get it.

"It was for you!" she exclaimed, "They all think you're totally hot, which has an icky side" she made a face and shuddered slightly at the less nice thoughts of her friends dating her father, "but I think it's kinda cool that my Dad's so popular" she smiled again when she realised she'd caused him to do the same. If she didn't know better she'd even say he blushed, but Spike never did that.

"I love you, Dawn" he told her, putting an arm around her shoulder, pulling her close and kissing the top of her head.

"I love you too Dad" she smiled before pulling away and getting off the stool, rapidly making for the door, "Now let's get going, if you want to pick up Buffy!" she urged him til he also jumped up and hurried to get ready.

* * *

"Okay" Buffy sighed as she looked around the motel room. She'd wished Xander good luck and sent him off half an hour ago. Now it was her turn and she was desperate to stay calm, despite the fact her stress levels wanted to rise every time she thought about her new job, or facing Spike again.

"Purse, lunch, keycard" she checked the items in her hands, "Hair done, make-up reasonable, outfit could be worse" she counted off as she glanced in the mirror. With a final deep breath she turned to the door and stepped out.

"Here we go"

Down on the street, Spike's car pulled up just beyond the motel and he killed the engine.

"This is the building, right?" Dawn leaned over her father and pointed to the apartment block slightly in front of them.

"It's where she went last night" Spike nodded, suddenly feeling ridiculously nervous in the manner of a teen on his first real date. God, it was pathetic!

"Should you go buzz at the door or something?" Dawn wondered after a few moments of silence, in which Spike did nothing but stare at the same spot beyond the windshield.

"Er, I dunno, I..." he shrugged before spotting a familiar blonde head in the side mirror, "Wait a sec" he said quickly to Dawn as he leapt from the car and walked the other way, "Buffy?" he said, as he caught up to the girl and reached hand a out to her arm. She turned around with a surprised expression.

"Spike. What are you doing here?" Buffy asked, praying to God he hadn't seen her come out of that motel. There was just no way to explain it, she should have an excuse ready but her mind had gone blank.

"We came to give you a ride to work" he gestured back towards the car where Dawn waited, nose pressed to the glass of the driver's window as she'd scooched over to see "I wasn't expecting to see you come out of the motel" he said suddenly glancing between the building and the woman in front of him. Buffy shifted nervously, desperately racking her brains for an excuse. Her mouth opened and closed several times like a fish of some kind before she put a hand to he face and sighed.

"Oh God...I'm sorry, I, I guess I should confess" she said, looking up again at Spike who's expression showed he had no clue what she was talking about "I currently live at the motel, okay?" she said, kind of defensively, "We can't afford a place yet and I knew if I told your father that he probably wouldn't give me a job and now you'll tell him I lied and he'll fire me anyway, God, I am so mentally challenged!" she rambled away before literally yelling at herself for her own stupid behaviour, stamping a foot in pure frustration and pushing her hair back off her face with her hand.

"Buffy, breathe luv, before you do yourself a damage" Spike urged her, "I won't be telling dear old Dad that you told a little white lie" he promised her, the comforting hand he laid on her arm feeling to Buffy as if it were burning a hole, "though as it goes I can't see him taking it as sackable offence either way. Still, your secret's safe with me, pet" he smiled as she looked up and their eyes met. This guy was so sweet and totally hot, Buffy knew it was crazy since they'd only met two days ago but already she really liked him.

"Hey" a voice interrupted whatever kind of moment the two might have been having as Dawn arrived beside her father, who's hand left Buffy's arm immediately.

"Or perhaps that should be with _us_" Spike amended as the blonde smiled at his daughter.

"Hi, Dawn. It's so nice of you and your Dad to come pick me up" she said as the three headed towards the car.

"No big" Dawn shrugged, "I mean you're going to the same place, why not go together?" she stood by the car as Spike climbed back into the driver's seat "You wanna sit in back...or up front?"

The way she asked the question told Buffy which answer she was supposed to give.

"The back is fine, thanks" she smiled, as Dawn grinned and got back in the front beside her Dad.

The journey from the motel to the school was filled with the young girl's chatter of boys and clothes and general things that fourteen years olds found interesting. She asked Buffy a few non-personal questions like favourite music and such things. It was a relief to the blonde who was quite happy to avoid any major queries about her life, past or present.

When his daughter was out of the car and off with her friends, Spike put the car in drive and headed for Giles Electronics. He glanced at Buffy in the rear view mirror.

"I'm sorry if Dawn comes off a little...intense" he apologised, "She means to be friendly, I swear"

"It's okay" Buffy smiled back ,"She's polite enough for someone her age" she told him, watching the Sunnydale scenery go by.

"Oh yeah, I mean some of the brats she hangs around with" Spike shook his head as he thought about it, "the things they get up to, makes me want to blush and I was no saint, y'know what I mean?" he asked Buffy who kept her eyes fixed on the view.

"Kind of, yeah" she sighed.

* * *

"Driving Miss Buffy, huh?" Oz commented as soon as the newest employee had gone through to the next office to meet up with Giles.

"What?" Spike asked him, trying to keep the smile from his face as he sat down at his desk and turned don the computer.

"You gave her a ride to work, right?" Willow grinned all over her face, loving the idea of Spike and Buffy being happy together. He'd been through so much what with Drusilla dying and him having to bring up Dawn alone.

"Yeah, and...?" he said, as answer to her questions and the red-head rolled her eyes.

"Oh, nothing" she gave up, deciding she was going to get nothing interesting out of her friend this morning.

"I know that look, Red" he said, giving her one of his own, "and as the Bit would say 'you don't have nothing face, you have something face', so spill it"

Willow was desperate to be serious, but the smile would not leave her face as she gushed;

"You like her"

"Yeah" Spike nodded as Oz tried not to laugh, "She's a nice person"

"Sure she is" Willow nodded right back, "I agree, but you _like_ her" she emphasised just as Dawn would do, and Spike tried desperately not to grin. A smirk escaped and Willow was practically bouncing in her seat.

"Oz, mate" he said to her husband, "control your wife would you. She's getting far too excitable for a woman her age"

"Hey" Willow protested, smile waining as Oz bit his lip to stop from smiling amusedly, at her sudden change of expression.

"Said with love, pet" Spike assured her, "but you do know you sound like Dawnie right now, don't you? In point of fact, I had almost the exact same conversation with her last night" he sighed, "What is it with women? You start to like one and they all decide it's their business" he said, taking his coat off and hanging it on the back of his chair.

"Ooh, you admitted it!" Willow pointed, shrieked and bounced all at the same time, "You like her!" she said joyously and Spike closed his eyes, unable to believe how stupid he'd just been in walking into that one.

"Oh, bloody hell" he cursed, as he started to get on with some work. Still, Willow was not going to let it go.

"So, you gonna ask her out?" she asked, leaning right across her husband as she continued to bug their bleached blond friend.

"Honey, maybe that's up to Spike" Oz told her with a look and she sat back up straight in her seat, declaring she was only asking.

Spike kept his eyes on his screen and tried to concentrate on his work but his mind was full of Buffy and everyone's apparently high opinion of his dating her. Maybe he would ask her out. Yeah, why not? As Dawn had said, it wasn't as if he was too old to date, or not good-looking enough. Yes, before the day was out, he'd ask her.

* * *

As Spike looked at the clock, the minute hand clicked round another point and it he had just two minutes left before he had to leave to go pick up Dawnie. Buffy's hours were two more than his so he couldn't even offer to take her home and ask her out in the car. All day he'd been trying to get her alone, not wanting to ask in front of nosy co-workers (mostly Willow) or his father. Still, it seemed he had no options left. As Buffy re-entered the office from the photocopy room he intercepted her on the way back to her own office by pushing his chair out into her path.

She was startled at first and then gave him a questioning look when he didn't move.

"Er, Buffy, I was wondering..." he started, suddenly feeling like the geek he used to be, way back before he'd met Drusilla.

"Wondering what?" she asked when his mind went on vacation and left his sentence hanging half-complete.

"Oh well" he began again, "there's this bar" he explained, "it's called the Bronze. It used to be some teen hangout a few years back but it got refurbished, place for the less young these days" he told her, "I go there sometimes, was going there tonight in fact and I was wondering if you wanted to maybe..."

"Oh" Buffy made a little sound of realisation when she figured out what he was trying to say. The look on her face didn't look good to Spike and he quickly tried to convince her.

"I mean, there's drinks and music" he said thinking fast "and I thought it'd be good for you to see more of the town and meet some people"

"I don't know" Buffy looked awkwardly at everything but him, shaking her head in the negative, "I don't like to leave Xander all on his lonesome..." she said, genuinely considering the offer of a date but so unsure as to whether it was really a good idea.

"Bring him along" Spike said suddenly and Willow who'd been eavesdropping the entire time almost fell from her chair with shock, "Will and Oz are coming too, right?" he added, shooting them both a pleading look when Buffy turned to them also.

"Oh, yeah" Willow nodded, "Sure, been planning it for days, haven't we sweetie?" she gave Oz a light shove and he nodded.

"Very true" he agreed until Buffy looked back at Spike, giving him a chance to give his wife a look that said 'what is going on?'

"Dad has said he'll keep an eye on Dawnie for me and the twins for these two" Spike lied, knowing it didn't matter since Giles was almost certain to agree anyway, "What d'ya say, pet?" he asked her, hoping he hadn't blown it to badly.

Buffy was half relieved and actually half disappointed that Spike had not really asked her on a date as such, just to a gathering of a few friends. Still, the hopeful look on his face made her want to agree to anything just to please him and so she smiled.

"Okay, I'm in" she agreed, "I mean, we, me and Xander, we'll be there" she amended, "What time?"

"About seven?" he suggested, a weak smile spreading across his face too. He was thrilled she'd agreed but was less impressed at his apparent lack of skills with women of late.

"See you there" Buffy nodded in agreement of the timing as he pulled his chair back towards the desk and let her pass. As the door closed behind her, Spike's head dropped onto the desk with a loud thump, as he cursed himself.

"I am such an idiot!"

To Be Continued...


	8. Wonderful Tonight

A/N : Thanx to; Dark Drusilla, Moonjava, phantomphan85, Moluvsnumber17, katie, EMBER19, bella-lover, spuffygrl, AngelicDevil1, KelleyTheSelfToastablePopTart, and Xtremely-Canadian, for the reviews - you're all awesome.  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 8 - Wonderful Tonight

"Well, what d'ya think, Bit?" Spike asked his daughter, who eyed him like a science project, tilting her head just like her father would.

"I thought you were gonna wear the other shirt" Dawn frowned.

"Was I?" he checked looking down at his own attire. He had on his smarter black jeans and T-shirt, with a purple shirt over the top, but apparently that wasn't right. When he glanced up again Dawn was gone from the sofa and just emerging from his bedroom with a red shirt instead.

"Here, this one" she told him, handing it over and he swiftly traded it for the one he was wearing.

"Better?" he asked her and she smiled, nodding her approval.

Spike was just starting to get disturbed by the realisation that his daughter was dressing him for a date when there was a knock at the door and he opened it to reveal his father on the other side.

"Dad, thanks so much for this" he said gratefully to the man who would be baby-sitter tonight, not just for Dawnie but for the Osbourne twins, who would be brought over by their parents any minute now.

"It's no problem at all" Giles told him, giving his son a pat on the back, "I'm only too glad to be of assistance in such a matter as this" he assured him, "It's good for you to get out and meet people" the certain emphasis on that last word meant Giles referred to mostly female people but Spike didn't say anything about that.

"Sure you can handle the Bit and the twins?" he checked and his father nodded.

"Yes, I'm fairly certain I shall have a ball" he said sarcastically, "Braiding hair and talking about boys will be the highlights I'm certain"

Spike smirked at that as Dawn came back from her bedroom to greet her Grandpa Giles, and another knock on the door signalled the arrival of Willow, Oz, and the kids.

Five minutes later the parents were all saying 'goodbye and be good' to their children before heading downstairs to leave.

"Hey, what's this all about?" Spike frowned when he spotted the taxi cab outside the door, "I thought I was driving"

"Guess again, mister" Willow told him, "Tonight's your night off from being Chauffeur Guy" she smiled, "Besides I know you, nervousness makes you need a drink and you can't have one if you need to drive home"

"Ever the thoughtful one, eh pet?" Spike smiled back, hugging her with one arm before she got in the back of the cab with Oz and he took the front passenger seat.

It was ridiculous but Spike had to admit he really was nervous about this almost-date. It was so many years since he'd had a woman in his life that he liked this much, that he could actually see himself forming a romantic relationship with. The only other had been Drusilla.

"You think Buffy's nervous about tonight too?" Willow asked, as if she were reading his thoughts. Spike didn't answer, just stared thoughtfully out of the window.

* * *

"Buffy will you come on!" Xander called through the door to her, "We're supposed to be there at seven and looking at this map it's going to be at least a ten minute walk" he told her, checking his watch and seeing it was six-fifty-five already.

"I'm almost ready!" Buffy yelled back with barely contained annoyance at her cousins complaining. Tonight was the first night in a long time she'd been out with anyone, not that this was a date, but even going to a club with friends was something new. There was no escaping the fact that she and Xander were less than rich right now. They couldn't afford a cab and were forced to walk using a hand drawn map from Willow. Buffy was also worried about what to wear leading to her changing her entire outfit a ridiculous eight times before she was ready, thus leading to the yelling between her cousin and herself right now.

"Okay, I'm ready" she told him as she came out of the bedroom door. Xander was stunned by what he saw.

"Buff, you look awesome" he told her with a grin.

She blushed and swatted him across the arm, calling him a liar in a giggly tone. It was true she'd made an effort and although neither of them mentioned it, she and Xander both knew it was mostly for Spike's benefit that she'd chosen her best clothes for tonight - silky red halter top that showed what she had without being slutty, designer fitted jeans that she'd got majorly reduced in a sale because the stitching wasn't perfect, plus her fancy pair of black strappy sandals she saved for special occasions. She pulled on her jacket and pushed some stray hair out of her face. The majority of her blonde tresses were swept up on top of her head and held with a clip with a few strands left loose, hanging down to frame her face.

"You're sure I don't look over-dressed?" she checked worriedly, "Or under-dressed? Or maybe I'm too old for this outfit or..."

"Enough with the ors, Buff" Xander hushed her, "You'll have enough soon to row a Viking ship" he smiled, making her laugh out loud and forget for five seconds that she was supposed to be nervous.

"I dunno why tonight seems such a big deal" she sighed as they walked along down the street, arms linked, "I just really want them all to like me"

"They already like you" her cousin pointed out, "They wouldn't have invited you along if they didn't"

"True" Buffy nodded in agreement, but the butterflies in her stomach would not give in. She felt like a teenager going on a first date or to her prom or something, when all she was really doing was going out for a drink with some friends. She thought of Spike and when he'd asked her to come along. She doubted he was nervous like she was, he seemed so cool and calm about everything.

* * *

"Spike, you're making me all jumpy" Willow told him as he sat on the stool beside her, leg bouncing like he had an involuntary twitch.

"What?" he asked absently, still watching the door. Buffy was five minutes late and he was starting to wonder if she was going to show. The red-head to his left rolled her eyes, reaching out a hand and forcing her friends knee to be still. He looked strangely at her hand and then her face, wondering what she was doing.

"You were all nervous-twitchy" she told him, "and it was driving me crazy"

"Sorry, luv" Spike sighed, taking a swig of his beer and changing the position he sat in to tuck his legs under the stool, "I don't know what's up with me tonight"

"I think maybe I do" Oz smiled, gesturing towards the door with his head, "No disrespect to my wife but, hottie at eleven o'clock" he said with a wink. Willow giggled when Spike's eyes snapped over to the door once again, his hand shifting and almost spilling his beer everywhere.

Buffy smiled when she saw her new friends, raising a hand when Willow waved to her, though she had a hard time keeping her eyes off Spike, he looked so good.

"Hey guys" the blonde grinned as she arrived at the table, "This is my cousin, Xander" she introduced, "Xand, this is Willow and Oz, and that's Spike" she gestured to each of them and there was much greeting and hand-shaking as the new-arrivals sat down on the two available stools.

"You two want drinks" Oz offered, having bought the first round before they got there. They thanked him, both requesting a beverage which he went to get for them.

"I love your top, Buffy" Willow told her, noticing she looked sort of uncomfortable, "It's so pretty"

Buffy thanked her a little over-zealously, she was just glad of the compliment and the re-assurance that she didn't look stupid at all.

"I told her she looks great" Xander threw in, "but she gets all twitchy panicky about her clothes. I swear I don't understand you women with your fashions" he added, amused by the shock on both girls' faces.

"Gotta say I agree with you there, mate" Spike played along, unable to contain and smirk and then a laugh as Willow and Buffy looked ready for a fight on the subject. The guys assured them they'd been joking just as Oz arrived with the drinks and the tone of the evening was set at a friendly and playful level from there on out.

* * *

Later in the evening, someone had jacked the volume of the music so they could dance and many patrons of the Bronze were out on the floor giving it their all in one way or another. The youngest people there were still mid-twenties and the music reflected that but it was by no means an old persons establishment. It made Buffy feel young again, but the memories brought forward by that didn't necessarily make her feel good.

Willow and Oz had got up to dance a few minutes ago and three songs later they were still out there. The conversation at the table had descended into sports as Xander and Spike rambled on over Buffy's head. She seemed to be in her own little dream world but the guys soon noticed she was far too quiet.

"You alright there, pet?" Spike checked, snapping her out of her memory-induced day-dream.

"Oh, er, yeah" she smiled, sipping her drink and going right back to her blank staring.

"Buff, if you're tired we can leave y'know, just say it" her cousin asked but she shook her head.

"Really Xander I'm fine" she assured him, "I was just listening that's all"

"Listening to us?" he checked, not really understanding why his cousin would be interested in their conversation. Spike smirked.

"Er, luv, what exactly were we talking about?" he asked her and she glanced between him and Xander before she answered.

"Some kind of sports?" she guessed hopefully, "Maybe football or something...?" the look on her face said she was guessing and didn't really have a clue where the conversation had ended up, only where it began over half an hour ago.

"Actually I was er, I was going to ask" Xander shifted on his seat, "You mind if I leave you with Spike for a while?" he asked Buffy with an almost begging expression, "'Cause a girl over their, kinda been diggin' the Xan-man's looks, y'know what I mean?" he grinned.

"Seldom if ever" Buffy laughed lightly, "but if you wanna go talk to the girl then go, talk" she encouraged, pleased to see her cousin so excited as he got her, kissed her cheek and headed off in each of the girl who'd been giving him 'the look' for the past hour.

It was only as she watched him go, Buffy realised she was alone with Spike. Now it felt like a date, all awkward and strange again. She had no idea he was thinking the same thing and they both sat there, silently sipping their drinks and looking at everything but each other for a while.

"Oh look" Willow pointed over at the pair as she and Oz danced, "They're alone"

"Not for long" her husband told her, "I thought we were sitting again after this song" he reminded her. Willow shook her head.

"Oh no, we can't" she told him all over-dramatic about it, "They have to be alone for a while. He likes her Oz, I know he does, and maybe she likes him" she said urgently, "Look at them, see how cute"

"I see potential couple cuteness" he admitted, glancing over, "but don't push it, honey, they might not like it"

The song was coming to an end and Willow wrapped her arms tighter round him, giving him a kiss.

"Just one more dance" she pouted and he rolled his eyes.

"One more" he relented, not really minding at all. It was too long since they'd been out like this, and as much as he loved his kids, it was nice to spend a little time, just him and his Willow.

"They're really in love, aren't they?" Buffy smiled when she saw the couple, "Willow and Oz, I mean"

"Oh yeah" Spike nodded, "Been together a long time. Romantic love that'll sustain that long, it's something special" he mused.

"You think everybody can have that?" Buffy sighed, not really thinking about what she was saying or who too, but it was too late now.

"Maybe" Spike told her, glancing up from the table to meet her eyes, "Thought I had it once" he added, voice disappearing into nothing.

"I'm sorry" Buffy said quickly, "I didn't mean to make you think about your wife and...oh God I'm such an idiot" she said looking away in embarrassment.

Spike felt bad for her. He knew she hadn't meant to upset him or anything and she hadn't, not really, just made him think was all.

"Buffy" he said, but she couldn't seem to look at him. He reached a hand across the table and covered hers, "Hey, pet, really not your fault" he assured her as she glanced over at him once again, "I don't mind talking about Dru, just sometimes, well, I s'pose I get a bit jealous"

"Of what?" she asked, not really understanding, and feeling really strange with her hand caught under his, still she didn't mind if he didn't move it for a while.

"Of Red and Oz, being so happy still when I lost the one I loved" he sighed, "Of all these other people, people like yourself, still young and carefree and good-looking enough to start over..."

"You can't be much older than me" she pointed out, "and you're totally hot and...oh God did I just say that outloud" she blushed profusely, letting her hand slip from beneath his and she tried to cover her reddening face.

"You did, luv" he smiled amusedly and a little embarrassed himself though it didn't show so much on him, "and it's very nice of you to say so, but..."

"But, nothing" she interrupted, deciding that the world didn't end when she got embarrassed the first time so whatever she said now, probably nothing bad would come of it, "You are attractive" she said more confidently, "and not at all old, and okay so you have a daughter, but I think it's great how you coped and brought her up on your own for this long" she told him, "So many people might've given up" she added more quietly, thinking of her own situation again and hating it.

"Thankyou, pet" Spike smiled, his hand finding it's way over hers again, "And y'know, if you're going to pay me so many compliments I should at least voice a thought I had earlier" he smirked, "You look stunning, luv, really you do"

"Stop it" she giggled, looking away, believing him to be teasing her.

"I'm serious" he promised her, squeezing her hand and getting her attention on him alone, "Wasn't sure how to say it before, but it's true"

"Thanks" she said as her eyes met his, not really knowing what to say next. She wanted to break eye contact but found it impossible for a while, until Willow and Oz returned to the table.

"Hey, what are we talking about?" Will asked as the pair took their seats once again.

"Not really talking, Red" Spike told her, but he didn't look away from Buffy yet, "Actually, I was just going to ask Buffy if she wanted to dance?" he said a little more cautious than his usual tone.

"Oh" she seemed a little startled by the question, but she soon smiled as she replied, "Yes, I'd love to dance"

Willow was practically bouncing in her seat with joy as she watched her friends stand up, holding hands, and walk out onto the dance floor. Oz smiled at his wife's enthusiasm, she really did love to play match-maker.

The two red-head's watched as Spike pulled Buffy into his arms and they swayed to the slow rhythm of the music. They both recognised it as Eric Clapton's Wonderful Tonight.

"Y'know I was ridiculously nervous about tonight" Buffy admitted, not looking up at him when she said it, "but I'm having fun" she smiled, turning her eyes to his.

"Glad to hear it, pet" he smiled down at her, "I am too, it's been too long since I..." he was going to say something about being on a date but it probably didn't seem that way to her so he stopped mid-sentence.

All around them other couples were having their last dance of the night, and many were kissing. The atmosphere was perfect and the situation was almost telling them to go with what they felt. It seemed the feeling hit both of them at the same time as they leaned in for one sweet kiss just as the song ended.

'Oh my darling, you were wonderful tonight'

To Be Continued...

A/N2 : The last line of this chapter is the last line of Wonderful Tonight' by Eric Clapton


	9. Repercussions

A/N : Apologies for this chapter being a little short, but look on the bright side, I update faster when I write short chapters! Anyway, thanx so much to the reviewers; Moonjava, Mita427, katie, demonica mills, Moluvsnumber17, KelleyTheSelfToastablePopTart, Ape18, LiLi, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, grey ice-water, EMBER91, Dark Drusilla, Brunettepet, spuffygrl, bella-lover, and phantomphan85. All your support is very much appreciated.  
_(For disclaimer, etc - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 9 - Repercussions

"I..I'm sorry" Buffy mumbled, backing up a step to get out of Spike's embrace, "I think I should go" she turned and practically ran away right then, leaving Spike alone on the emptying dancefloor looking stunned.

He hadn't planned to kiss her, despite the fact tonight had felt slightly date-like, the dancing was a spur of the moment thing and the kiss even more so. She just looked so beautiful and holding her close, swaying to the music, instinct just took over.

"Spike?" Willow frowned when he wandered back to the table alone. He picked his coat up off the chair and pulled it on.

"Buffy's gone, Red" he said quietly, "Reckon it's time I pushed off too"

"But..." the red-head started as her friend walked away. Oz put his hand on his wife's arm and stopped her running after Spike.

"I'll go, honey" he said, getting up himself and jogging after his friend, "Hey, Spike" he caught up with him by the exit and caught his attention, "What happened?"

"No bloody clue, mate" Spike shook his head, "One minute we're getting along great and the next..."

"You kissed her" Oz filled in, surprising the bleached blond, "Willow was in the ladies room but I saw"

"What am I doing, man?" Spike shook his head, "I'm thirty-four years old, and here I am behaving like more of a kid than Dawnie" he sighed, slamming his fist into the wall and instantly regretted it.

"Being our age doesn't mean you can't find the opposite sex attractive, Spike" Oz smirked, "Buffy's a good-looking woman and she seems to like you a lot"

"Then why did one little kiss send her world spiralling out of control?" his friend interrupted, frustrated by the feelings he seemed to be developing for the woman who'd recently come into his life, and the fact that her own were unclear.

"That's something you'll have to ask her" Oz told him, a hand on his shoulder, "but maybe not right now" he suggested, pointing towards the other exit as Buffy left with Xander, the brunette shooting a nasty look in Spike's direction.

* * *

"Xander!"

The brunette had been surprised to suddenly find his cousin right behind him when he turned around.

"Hey Buff, you okay?" he frowned slightly when he realised she didn't look too happy.

"I just, can we go home now?" she said, looking behind her and hoping Spike couldn't follow her. She was behaving like such a kid and she knew it, but her track record with men was so dire, the thought of getting close to someone new scared her half to death.

"What did he do?" Xander's eyes narrowed at the bleach blond when he realised that's who his cousin was looking at.

"Nothing, I'll explain later" she shook her head, "but can we please just get out of here first?"

"Sure" the brunette nodded, turning to the girl he'd been asking to before, "Er, Cordelia I have to take my cousin home. Could I maybe call you sometime?"

Buffy nervously glanced back to the table where Oz and Willow were. Spike walked over and talked to them, but she had this feeling he would chase after her any second and she just couldn't explain herself. She was a grown up for heaven sakes and all he'd done was kiss her, and now she was practically running scared.

Xander exchanged numbers with Cordelia and then walked out of the club with his cousin who constantly kept looking back over her shoulder.

"This is about Spike, isn't it Buff?" he checked, looking back the same way she had and giving the bleached blond a dirty look, "I swear, if he hurt you I'll..."

"Xand, he didn't" Buffy assured him as they got outside, "You know if he had I'd have dealt anyway, I didn't take those kick-boxing classes just for fun...He just kissed me is all"

"Oh" Xander felt suddenly very stupid for making such a big deal out of this but then wasn't Buffy making a huge deal too, and all because of a kiss?

"It's stupid, I know" Buffy admitted, looking at her feet as they walked along, "but it scared me, Xander, I haven't felt like that before, not from one kiss" she told him, going over it all in her head, "Even with Angel" she said awkwardly, knowing her cousin hated to have that name mentioned, "Even then it was never like that, not just from a dance and a kiss"

"What are you saying to me, Buffy?" Xander checked, wanting to make sure he got it right this time.

"I wish I knew" his cousin laughed painfully, "but...would it be insane to think I might be falling for him?" she asked. Xander just shook his head absently, putting a comforting arm around her shoulders as they continued the walk back to the motel. What he was supposed to say to her now, he had absolutely no idea. He knew Buffy and her track record with guys, it was not all that good. Of her two serious boyfriends, one had been nothing short of evil and the second, well, whilst Riley had been a decent guy it was clear from the start Buffy didn't feel quite what she should for him, and when the blonde's past was revealed he just couldn't deal with it.

"I'm scared, Xand" she confessed as they neared home, "It's insane but it's true. I came here for a reason, and that still matters to me a lot, but now I have Spike in my head and, and my heart too if I'm honest"

Xander didn't know what to say to that as they ascended the stairs up to their rooms. When they arrived outside her door he sighed and turned to face her.

"Buff, I know it's a weird situation right now, what with looking for little Buffy junior and everything" he half-smiled, "but whatever happens with that or with Spike, I'm here for you. You know that, right?" he checked.

"I know" she smiled, tears in her eyes as she hugged her cousin, "I don't know what I'd do without you, Xander" she said honestly as they parted.

"Lucky for you, you'll never have to" he assured her, kissing her forehead before saying goodnight and going to his own room next door to hers.

Buffy let herself into the motel room, closed the door and flopped down onto the bed. She closed her eyes and replayed the night in her mind, til she could almost hear the music in the Bronze, feel Spike's arms around her and his lips brushing softly against her own. He was such a sweet guy and she really liked him, but she had this horrible feeling any relationship they started would end badly, just as her past attempts at happily ever after had.

With a sigh she got up from the bed and reached for one of her bags. Rifling through the contents she found her diary at the bottom and in the back a picture she'd kept all these years. It wouldn't mean much to anyone else but the fuzzy black-and-white sonogram picture was the only evidence Buffy possessed that proved she'd ever given birth to her beautiful daughter. That baby, or rather the teen she would now be, was what her mind should be focused on.

Her finger traced the almost unidentifiable baby in the photo she held as a tear ran down her cheek. Giving up her chance at motherhood was probably the most stupid mistake she'd ever made. Buffy was beginning to wonder if pushing Spike away would be her second.

* * *

"Ah, William, Willow, Oz" Giles smiled as his son led them into the house, "I wasn't expecting you back so soon" he frowned slightly as he checked his watch.

Spike looked away as the couple stepped round him, mumbling awkwardly about fetching the kids who they knew would be in the spare room upstairs.

"Did something happen?" Giles asked his son as he slumped down into the chair across from him, running his hand back through his hair.

"Not so as you'd notice" he said with a humourless chuckle, worrying his father a great deal.

"Thanks for the baby-sitting" Willow said with a smile as she and Oz led their sleepy children to the door, "We'll see you both tomorrow"

"Yes, Willow" Giles smiled fondly at the little family as they exited, "We'll see you then"

As soon as they were gone he turned back to his son, wanting to get to the bottom of whatever was going on here.

"William, what has happened?" he asked impatiently, "You are clearly not yourself and poor Willow and Oz could not escape from here fast enough. Clearly they feel awkward in your presence so what on Earth is the matter with you?"

"Nothin' the matter with me" he sighed, "'Cept clearly I don't understand women at all" he complained, slumping back in the chair and going over the evenings events yet again in his mind.

"Nobody understands women, William" Giles told him with a knowing look, "Their mystery is part of their charm I believe"

Spike scoffed at that.

"Oh yeah" he said sarcastically, volume rising by the second, "Bloody charmin' how they make you think they like you to the point where you snog them and then they run out the building like you took advantage or something!"

"I don't think I understand..." Giles frowned, but was prevented from saying anymore when Spike seemed to explode.

"Well I sure as hell bloody don't" he raved, "I thought everything was just fine and suddenly I'm in the soddin' wrong and she's bolting for the door and..."

"Okay, what's with the voice raisage?" Dawn complained as she appeared in the doorway, dressed in her pyjamas and rubbing her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Bit" Spike apologised, suddenly calm, "Didn't mean to wake you"

"Well, I'm up now, might as well tell me what's up" she told him as she walked over and shared the couch with Giles, "Did your date not go well?" she guessed.

"It wasn't a date, Dawn" her father sighed, "Buffy made that very clear" he added bitterly.

"Ah" Giles seemed to suddenly understand, "She was not comfortable with the affection you showed her?" he guessed, careful how he phrased things with Dawn sitting right there.

"Okay, that was a little too British" the young girl made a face, "Wanna translate it for me?" Giles looked awkward so Spike took on the task.

"Means I kissed Buffy, Nibblet, and she wasn't too happy about it" he admitted, still not really understanding what had happened, only knowing that it had really hurt when she ran out on him like that. He clearly had deeper feelings for Miss Summers than even he had realised.

"I don't get it" Dawn shook her head, "I thought she really liked you, that you really liked each other. Why would she flip out when you kissed her?"

"Wish I knew, pet" Spike smiled sadly, "but right now I don't reckon we should dwell on it" he realised as he checked his watch, "You ought to be in bed and so did I, if we're gonna be fit for getting up at a decent hour tomorrow"

"And I should be going" Giles said getting to his feet. He gave Dawn a hug and said goodnight, patting his son on the shoulder and offering a supportive smile before letting himself out.

"You gonna be okay, Dad?" Dawn asked as they climbed the stairs.

"Course I will, luv" he said with a smile as they reached the landing and he gave her a hug, "Still got my best girl, nothin' else matters" he said, ruffling her hair and sending her off to her room.

Dawn didn't completely close her door, watching as Spike walked into his own room, looking so tired. She hated to know her Dad was hurting, he meant the world to her, and despite what he said about being fine she knew he wasn't. Buffy obviously meant an awful lot to him. For everyone's sake she hoped they found a way to work things out. It wasn't like they could avoid each other for long. They both had to show up to work at the same place tomorrow.

To Be Continued...


	10. Falling

A/N : Thanx to; Moonjava, sf-former-mk, spuffygrl, Brunettepet, demonica mills, ness345, Baby Girl Geller-Green, katie, Mita427, bella-lover, Moluvsnumber17, Ape18, and msberry, for the latest reviews. I love hearing your opinions on what has happened and your ideas on what could happen next.  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 10 - Falling

Spike couldn't believe he was here, but Dawn had spent the last hour telling him that the only way to fix things with Buffy was to talk to her, and work was not really the place for that. His daughter had suggested he pick Buffy up on the way to work, just like he had the previous day, and whilst he was a little uncomfortable in taking dating advice from his own little girl, Spike had to agree what she said made sense.

So here they were, car parked outside the building, engine still running. Spike was just debating whether to wait til she came out or go in to find her when Xander emerged from the doors.

"Hey, Xander" he called, winding the window down.

The brunette turned and came over to the car.

"Spike, what are you doing here?" he asked, "Buffy already left"

"Bugger it" the beached blond cursed as Xander walked away, headed towards work, "I dunno, Bit, maybe I'm just not meant to like this woman" he said sadly, "Powers That Be reckon so it seems"

"There must be a reason why she went all crazy last night" Dawn told him, "And I'll bet anything he knows" she said, gesturing to Xander as he strode on own the street.

Spike hesitated a moment before turning off the engine and scrambling from the car.

"Two minutes" he promised Dawn through the window, knowing he was running the risk of making her late for school. He hurried after Buffy's cousin and called his name to get him to stop.

"Look, I know I must have done something last night to piss off your cousin" he told him, "but I swear I don't bloody know what. You got any ideas?"

Xander sighed, not really sure what he should and shouldn't say for the best.

"Look, I probably shouldn't be telling you this but...Buffy hasn't had the greatest luck with guys" he explained eventually, "She just, she's cautious cos she doesn't want to get hurt again"

"Great" Spike sighed, "So now she thinks I'm a git for coming on to her, just great" he complained, kicking the fire hydrant to the side.

"Don't beat yourself up over it" Xander told him, "You didn't know, you couldn't have"

"Gotta say" Spike smirked in spite of himself, "I half expected you to smack me in the face when you saw me today. Didn't know what Buffy would've said to you after last night"

"Really don't think I would've" Xander smiled, "Not so much with the fightage, unless I have to, but anyway, it's not like you really did anything wrong as such, it was just a kiss, right?"

"Right" Spike nodded in agreement.

"See, that's no big to me or you" Xander shrugged, "or most girls actually but Buff, she's...I guess you might say fragile when it comes to dating, which is insane cos in everything else she's pretty tough" he smiled.

"Advice would be good , if you have any" Spike asked, "You must know Buffy better than anyone, and I don't want her avoiding me all the time, that's the last thing I want"

"To be honest, I wouldn't know where to start" Xander admitted, "and if the Buffster ever found out we were talking about her behind her back" he made a slicing motion across his neck with his finger, and Spike understood.

"Guess I'll just have to go it alone then, hope for the best" he realised as Xander checked his watch.

"Er, I think your daughter is worried about being late for school" he gestured over to the car where Dawn was frantically gesturing out of the back window.

Spike glanced as his watch and swore colourfully as he hurried back to her.

"Sorry, luv" he apologised, jumping into the drivers seat, "Teacher gives you any bother for being late you tell her it was my fault" he told her, "She argues tell her to call me and I'll put her straight, got it?"

"Got it" Dawn agreed as they sped off down the road.

* * *

"Where is that boy?" Giles complained as he stood by his son's desk, tapping his foot.

"He's only a little late" Willow tried to defend her friend, "Maybe he got stuck in traffic"

Giles gave her a look that said he really didn't believe her and the red-head went back to her work.

"Er, Mr Giles" Buffy said as she appeared from the door to his office, "Anne just called up to say Mr Pryce and Mr Gunn are here" she told him.

"Ah yes, thankyou Buffy" he smiled, turning to her, "If you could turn on the coffee machine and make sure everything is ready for the meeting"

She nodded and ducked back into the office, glancing briefly at Spike's empty desk as she did so. She really felt awful about last night, running out on him like she did. He probably thought he'd done something wrong, and really he hadn't. She'd been awake half the night going over it in her head, and she knew she needed to apologise and explain as much as she could, though she wasn't quite prepared yet to mention Angel or his baby that she'd been forced to give up. Now it seemed she would be trapped in a meeting for hours without getting a chance to talk to him.

Buffy had no idea that Spike was thinking the same thing as he almost fell through the office door, attracting everyone's attention.

"William" Giles sighed at the sight of his son who breathed unevenly as he came towards him, "How is it that you have such trouble being at work on time, and yet you can consistently be ten minutes late?" he asked, as he polished his glasses.

"Sheer talent?" Spike ventured with a slight smile that soon disappeared, "Sorry Dad, not exactly having the best morning ever" he said, sitting down at his desk and turning his back on the room. Giles rolled his eyes as Oz and Willow shared a look.

"I am going downstairs to meet with two very important gentleman from Wolfram and Hart" Giles told them, "Our meeting will probably last much of the morning and possibly spill into the afternoon. I am not to be disturbed unless it is of the utmost urgency"

The staff nodded they understood as the watched the boss disappear out of the door.

"S'pose Buffy's trapped in that meeting too then?" Spike checked with Willow who nodded sadly. Oz had told her what had happened last night, since she'd missed much of it. She felt awful for Spike, since he was such a sweet guy. He really deserved to find a woman to love and who would love him too. No-one could ever replace Drusilla, but it'd do him good to move on. He deserved to be happy again, though it seemed they'd have to wait until at least Buffy emerged from the possible all-day meeting.

Spike could hardly concentrate on his work at all. His mind was on Buffy alone and it was slowly driving him round the bend. He'd known the girl three days for God sakes and somehow he was obsessed with her. The last person he'd ever felt this strongly for was his precious Drusilla who he'd fallen in love with on sight. She was everything he'd ever wanted and infinitely more. By some miracle she'd felt the same about him and together they were the ultimate team.

Now here was Buffy, a very different woman to Drusilla in looks and personality but still, from almost the first moment he'd laid eyes on her, Spike had wanted her, felt things for her, realised he was starting to fall in love with her.

The clock hands shifted a little more, almost time to go home. The meeting had dragged on even longer than Giles had predicted, and though they'd broken for lunch, Spike still hadn't managed to get even a moment alone with Buffy. She was ferried out with the two visiting gents and brought back in again an hour or so later, having dined out at a restaurant for lunch.

Finally the door swung open and Spike tried to make himself look busy as Giles emerged shaking hands with his business associates before allowing Buffy to lead them out of the office. The bleached blond checked the clock on his computer screen, quickly hit the off button when he saw he could get away with leaving and swinging his coat over his shoulder he practically ran for the door. He took the stairs when he saw Buffy enter the elevator with Gunn and Pryce. She was shaking hands with them and laughing at some joke when Spike saw them next in the reception area. When the two men were gone he walked towards her.

"Buffy" he said as he reached her and whilst she didn't move away, she wouldn't look at him either.

"Spike" she replied in kind and he felt like such a fool suddenly. Neither of them seemed prepared to say any of the things they'd been planning all day long and when they finally decided to speak it was the same phrase both at once.

"I'm sorry about last night" they said in unison, both smiling when their realised what they'd done.

"Really, Buffy, I never meant to upset you" Spike told her.

"You didn't" she shook her head, "I mean, it wasn't really your fault, I just..." she tried to explain and failed badly, instead opting for the highly popular running away tactic.

"I should get back to the office" she said, moving to walk past him, "Mr Giles will be wondering where I am..."

"Buffy" Spike stopped her leaving, his hand on her arm. Her eyes met his then glanced down at his fingers on her forearm, "Let me drive you home" he almost begged her. He just needed some time to talk to her, explain he wasn't there git she probably thought he was.

She considered his offer for a moment, finding that she was unable to think straight with his hand gently gripping her arm as it still was.

"I...you have to pick up your daughter from school" she said, part of her really wanting to say yes but not sure that she should. This guy could be anybody, she'd only known him three days, and yet in some insane way she felt like she'd known him for years. She instinctively knew she could trust him.

"I'm running Dawnie home for a change of clothes and such, then I'm taking her to a mates" he explained, "Some science project or whatever they have to do together. I can easily come and pick you up when you clock off at five"

"I don't want to put you to any trouble" Buffy shook her head, pulling her arm free and taking a couple of steps away. He looked almost hurt that she wanted to get away so fast and she took a deep breath before she spoke again, "Can you be here a little earlier?" she asked almost shyly, "Giles was talking about letting me go home sooner because I did so well with the clients today"

"I'll be here" Spike smiled, so pleased she'd finally said yes and that she was smiling at him so brightly. He watched her until the elevator doors closed and blocked his view.

"That's so sweet" he heard a voice say and he turned to see Anne smiling at him too, "You and Buffy, huh? I think it's nice"

"You would" Spike told her, rolling is eyes but grinning still, as he went to fetch Dawn from school.

* * *

'I'm an idiot' Spike was thinking as he sat outside the building where he worked. Buffy had said a little earlier than five but it was barely four-twenty and he was already there. Dawn had made an extra effort to change and grab her bag extra fast so her Dad could get her to her mates house as quick as possible and then come here to wait for Buffy. Spike loved his little girl, of course he did, but always he felt that little bit more of a connection to her when she was trying to help him out like this. When she said she was so happy for him having found a woman he might be able to be with, when she hugged him and said that Dru would want him to be happy. God he'd nearly cried like a ponce but he was so glad Dawnie approved. Of course there was nothing to say he'd definitely end up with Buffy in any kind of long term way, but right now he was wishing he would.

"Earth to Spike" said her voice through the small gap where he had the window down a little, "God, what were you thinking about?" Buffy asked, "I called your name three times"

"Sorry, luv" he apologised, "I was in a whole other world" he realised as he'd been picturing how great things might go with Buffy. Dates they could go on, days spent as a family with Dawn, nights alone together, that last one was where his mind got the most stuck and he tried not to look too guilty when Buffy got into the car, for fear she'd ask him to actually tell her what he'd been thinking. One kiss had scared the poor girl half to death, not that he really understood why, but now was not the time to start mentioning spending their lives together.

"So, did Dawn have a good day at school?" she asked as he pulled way from the kerb.

"Er, yeah, seemed to" he replied, a little confused by the question. He hadn't really expected he to ask about his daughter, but if she wanted to know, he would tell her.

"S'not easy for her, being a teenager without a Mum, but I do what I can"

"Well, I think you're a great Dad" Buffy let slip out without thinking, "I mean, she seems so happy and she loves you so much, just in the couple of times I've seen you two together I can see that"

"Thanks, luv" Spike said a little more softly than he meant to, "Means a lot"

He meant that, really and truly. He wanted to be with Buffy, saw a future with her hopefully, but that was never going to work if she couldn't accept Dawn as a part of his life. It seemed she could, in fact she thought he was a great father. Although he thought it he didn't dare say that perhaps one day he'd be a good father to her children too, it made a pretty picture in his head though.

"Spike?" Buffy's voice interrupted his thoughts once again and he glanced at her before putting his eyes back on the road, "Y'know you said you wanted to drive me home so we could talk and now...you keep zoning out on me" she pointed out, "Are you okay?" she asked, just as he pulled the car up outside the motel.

"To be honest, luv" he sighed as he shut off the engine, "No, I'm not okay" he admitted as he took off his seat belt and turned a little more towards her, "I like you Buffy, maybe more than I should after only three days of knowing you" he told her, "but that doesn't make it any less real"

She glanced away, feeling terribly awkward, but he couldn't stop now.

"I don't know what this is between us, maybe you don't even feel it but..."

"I do" she interrupted, eyes flicking up to meet his, "I do feel it Spike and...it scares me half to death" she admitted, "Like you said, it's been three days and, I didn't come here looking for a guy, I came here..." she stopped when she realised what she was saying, "I came here for a lot of reasons but finding a man really wasn't on my list"

Spike looked away then, fearing what she was about to say. Not just that she was scared of falling for him but that she'd make damn sure she never did.

"You took me by surprise" she smiled when she got his attention back, "and not just because you threw coffee all over me" she laughed slightly as he did the same, "You're a great person, William Giles, and I really mean that" she assured him, putting a hand to his face, "I just think...three days isn't long, and maybe we could take this all very slow. Is that okay?" she asked cautiously. She really did want to get to know this guy better, thought maybe there could be something good between them, but after the last guy she'd fallen head over heels for as she felt she a falling for Spike, she couldn't risk rushing into this.

Spike nodded in agreement to her question, taking her hand in his.

"We can take this any speed you like, pet" he assured her, knowing it was going to be hell trying to keep any large amount of distance between them, but he'd do it for now, and see what happened.

"Thankyou" she answered him softly, leaning over to kiss his cheek before hopping out of the car. The thanks could easily have been for the lift home and their serious conversation might never have taken place, but they both knew it had.

"So, when you say slow" he called through the window as she walked around the car, "Where do we start?" he checked, not wanting to screw this up.

"Well..." Buffy smiled playfully, "You could offer to drive me to work tomorrow?" she suggested. He smiled back at her, liking this game.

"Would I be pushing if I offered to drive you to work every day?" he asked carefully, the smile returning to his face when she said that'd be great.

When Spike pulled away from the kerb and began to drive home his mind went straight to Drusilla, but he didn't stop smiling. When he pulled up outside his house he took his wallet from his pocket and stared at the picture of his wife inside.

"Oh, pet" he said as if she could hear him, "When you told me I'd find another I could love, I never believed you...but I think I've found her" he told the photograph.

Buffy would never replace his beloved Dru, no-one ever could, but she'd told him so many times during her illness that all she really wanted now was to leave this plane of existence, safe in the knowledge that Spike and Dawn would live happily ever after. She talked of him finding another woman and it had near killed him to hear it. Now years later he understood what she'd been saying to him. He was sure if she was up there looking down on him now, she was smiling.

To Be Continued...


	11. Discoveries

A/N : As always, thanx muchly to the latest reviewers; Brunettepet, Moonjava, sf-former-mk, Demonica Mills, katie, dared, Mita427, Moluvsnumber17, bella-lover, Baby Girl Geller-Green, spuffygrl, EviLAngeLOfDarkness, and Ape18. Little time jump this chapter, as you will see, plus some Spuffyness and a revelation...  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 11 - Discoveries

"Buff!" her cousin called as he tapped on the door to her room, "I got news" he was grinning as he let himself in, until he found she seemed less happy.

"What's up, Xand?" she asked, wiping tear tracks from her cheeks as she sat up on her bed, hiding the picture she'd been looking at.

"I think I should be asking you" he sighed sitting down beside her and pulling the item she held into view.

"I'm sorry" Buffy told him, staring at the sonogram picture once again, "I just, I keep thinking about her, Xander" she swallowed hard trying not to cry anymore, "We've been here almost a month and still we're no closer to finding her"

Xander wrapped his arms around his cousin and held her as her tears finally escaped. It was true, they'd been living in the Sunnydale Motel for a little over four weeks, him working at a local construction site and Buffy in the office of an electronics company. They were managing to save some money, they had a pleasant group of friends and life was pretty good, except the real reason for coming to the small Californian town seemed to have got lost somewhere.

"Sometimes I think it was so wrong of Faith to tell you what she did" Xander sighed as he rubbed Buffy's back soothingly.

"No" the blonde shook her head, pulling away from him, "No, she shouldn't even have given me as much information as she did, and I'm grateful to her" she said, though she quite understood what Xander meant.

Faith Lehane was one friend Buffy had managed to make during the time when she was pregnant. At school they'd barely spoken to each other but when Faith had found out the slightly younger girl was having a baby she'd made a point of getting to know her. As it turned out she too had gotten into a similar situation the year before and had been encouraged by her parents to get an abortion. At the time she'd agreed it was probably for the best but since that time she'd felt so wretched about killing a life like that, a possible son or daughter if not for herself then for another.

The two women had remained in on-and-off contact ever since that time and when Faith got a job that gave her access to adoption records Buffy couldn't help but ask her to check her baby was okay. Thirteen years since she'd given up her child, Buffy was told that little girl had grown up nicely with a good couple in Sunnydale.

From that moment the blonde knew she had to find the child she'd let go. She'd always felt like there was a gap in her life, a great loss for the past years where her daughter should've been. When she asked Faith for more data, a name and an address for example, that was when her friend drew the line. She apologised but she could lose her job that she loved if she gave that kind of information to Buffy. The blonde couldn't find it in her to be angry at her friend of so many years and accepted what she'd been told, making plans with her cousin to go and find her baby.

"I'm sorry this isn't easier, sweetie" Xander told her, "but I do have a little piece of good news"

"About my baby?" Buffy asked hopefully.

"Not so much" her cousin shook his head, feeling terrible when her face fell, "but still good" he assured her, "I found us a possible apartment" he smiled, "It's not perfect, but it has two small bedrooms, kitchen, bathroom, and the rent is totally do-able"

"That's great, Xand" Buffy forced a smile, genuinely pleased and yet having trouble showing it, "When do I get to see it?"

"I was thinking tomorrow being Sunday might be of the good" her cousin suggested, "It's getting a little late to be going today especially since we're going out soon"

Buffy brightened a little at that. She'd almost forgotten the arrangements that had been made for this evening with her work friends. Willow and Oz were just the sweetest couple and they had two beautiful kids. Buffy had played baby-sitter for them a couple of times when their parents wanted to go out, but Xander didn't like her doing it since she usually got upset over the loss of her own child when exposed to somebody else's kids.

Then of course there was Spike. It was the weirdest thing but despite telling him three days after their first meeting that she wanted to take things very slowly, Buffy so often found herself just wishing he would make a move. He hadn't even asked her out on a date or anything, just drove her to work every day and sometimes home again if the weather was bad or he found he had time.

They talked about anything and everything, and when Dawn was there she always had a fun High School related story she wanted to share. Buffy found she really liked the fourteen year old who sometimes reminded her so much of herself it was uncanny. If she didn't know Spike was her Dad she might have thought the girl was her own, but that couldn't be. She knew any thoughts of that kind were very contrived and she tried to push them right out of her head. The complications of the scenario far outweighed any good that might come of it and it would be such a coincidence it was practically impossible.

Buffy sighed as she put her picture back in her diary and laid it on the cabinet by the bed. Xander had said something about showering and changing as he left a few minutes ago and she knew she should do the same soon. A night out was what she really needed she was sure, and maybe tonight she's get somewhere with Spike. Not that she wanted to get all that far she told herself, they'd only been friends for a month after all but, sometimes it felt like they'd known each other forever and he was just such a great guy.

Buffy caught sight of herself in the mirror and almost laughed. The thoughts in her head were that of a teenager, and more suited to the likes of Dawn and her friends than her own twenty-nine year old self. Still, her age didn't stop her from finding guys attractive, and Spike had initially made it obvious that he liked her too, especially that first time the gang had met at the Bronze. When he kissed her she ran, something she knew she wouldn't do now. If only he'd figure that out, they might just get somewhere.

* * *

"And you promise me it's just girls at that sleepover you're going to?" Spike asked Dawn yet again.

"For the five hundred and seventy sixth time, yes!" his daughter told him impatiently, hitching her bag up higher on her shoulder, "Now can we please go before I'm late and look totally lame!" she complained.

"You watch your tongue there, Bit" he scolded, "Remember who you're talking to. I'm not one of your 'lame' friends at school" he told her with a look.

"I'm sorry, Dad" she muttered as he pulled on his coat and they headed out to the car, "So, is Buffy going to be at the Bronze tonight?" she asked as she climbed into the passenger seat.

"Er, yeah" Spike said absently, strating up the car, "Why'd you ask, Lil Bit?"

"Well, you two get along so well, and I know you like her a whole lot" she shrugged, "I guess I thought you two would be all big with the dateage by now"

"We've only known each other a month, Dawnie" Spike told her as he drove her to her friends house, "You don't just rush into these things. You have to get to know each other before anything serious happens" he gave her look when he said it and Dawn rolled her eyes.

"How did my asking you about Buffy turn into another anti-sex lecture?" she asked with a smirk she'd learnt from him alone.

"'S not a lecture, Bit" he pointed out, "But it's important you understand. I'm a bloke so I know how boys minds work seein' as I was a young lad once upon a time. You're a pretty girl Dawn and you're eager to get people's good opinion" he said as he pulled up outside Amanda's house, "I just don't want to see you gettin' into some sort of trouble. Too many of these kids in the paper, having their own kids at your age, makes my stomach turn over just thinkin' about it" he told her with a grimace.

"Dad, really" Dawn sighed, "I would never let a guy...y'know, I'm not stupid" she promised him.

"I know that, pet" he nodded, pushing her hair back off her face affectionately, "Now get along with you, have fun with your mates"  
"You too" she grinned as she hopped out of the car and disappeared into the house.

Spike turned back to the road and knocked up the volume on the radio before heading home to shower and change. He felt stupidly excited at spending some quality time with Buffy. They saw each other five days a week on the drive to work, and a little in the office.

Occasionally she'd been out to lunch with him but always with Oz and Willow there too. There'd been two other occasions at the Bronze since the first one that had ended so badly, but he never even asked her to dance, he was so worried she'd consider it too much. He'd concentrated on being her friend, no matter how difficult that was. So many times he ached to kiss her, but he never did. He'd promised her they'd take things slow and that's what they were doing.

'Who knows' he thought to himself with a wry smile, 'maybe by the time Dawn graduates I'll have got as far as holding Buffy's hand...if the strain of waiting doesn't kill me in the meantime'

* * *

Oz and Xander arrived back at the table where Willow and Buffy waited, bearing drinks for all of them, and one for when Spike arrived.

"So Buff, Xander tells me you might have found a place to live" Oz said as he sat down beside his wife, "That's great"

Buffy had admitted a while ago that she and her cousin were living at the motel. Once she got to know the two red-heads it was obvious they wouldn't think badly of her for her situation, instead they were appropriately supportive without being overly sympathetic.

"Yeah, we're going to take a look tomorrow and if all goes well, Xand says we can move in right away" the blonde nodded as she sipped her drink, eyes wandering back to the door. She tried to be discreet but everyone had noticed as she continued to train her eyes on the entrance.

"I wonder what's holding up Spike" Willow said not-so-casually and Oz rolled his eyes, "I'm sure he'll show up, it's not like him to just not come"

"Talk of the devil" Oz nodded towards the door as the bleached blond entered and walked over to the table, taking the empty seat next to Buffy.

Nobody missed the grin that spread across the blonde's face as she greeted him, or the similar delighted smile he shot back at her.

It was a half hour later when Willow and Oz were dancing that Xander excused himself to go to the bathroom and Buffy wondered if it wasn't a deliberate manoeuvre to leave her alone with Spike - not that she minded at all.

"So, getting a proper flat at last, eh pet?" he said casually, sipping his beer from the bottle, "Be nice to have a place to call your own"

"Yeah" she nodded "Xander says it's much closer to the office too" she told him with a slightly disappointed tone. The previously happy look on Spike's face fell at that.

"Won't be needin' my services anymore then, I s'pose" he said, looking away, "Private cab driving days end here"

"Yeah, I guess so" Buffy replied quietly, staring down into her glass.

The silence stretched out for a couple of long minutes before they both spoke at once, saying each others names and then smiling when they realised what they'd done.

"Ladies first" Spike told her chivalrously and Buffy felt ridiculously shy when she spoke to him, so far from the strong-willed young woman she was known to be around everyone else.

"Spike, I...you know I really like you, a lot" she admitted, glancing up to meet his eyes just briefly, "I liked getting the chance to talk to you on the way to work and...well, if we can't talk then, I guess we need to find other time when we can see each other..." she trailed off, hoping he might understand what she was trying to say and take over before she completely embarrassed herself. As she stared into her glass once again, hoping he'd soon say something, she felt his hand cover hers on the table.

"Buffy" he said, gaining her attention and looking deep into her eyes, "I thought you knew that I like you, that all I want is the chance to spend more time with you, away from work and everything" he told her, the intense look in his eyes never wavering. Buffy felt like she was drowning when he looked at her that way, and he was saying exactly what she hoped he would.

"What I said before" she said breathlessly, as his hand moved slightly on top of hers and sent electric bolts up her arm, "about us taking things slowly and everything... well, I meant that but..."

"But?" Spike prompted as her sentence disappeared.

"But, er..." Buffy struggled to remember what exactly she was saying before as he leaned a little closer to her and she found herself inching forwards too.

Their lips met in a sweet kiss that they both felt they'd waited too long for, still it was Spike that pulled away first determined not to go faster than he should. On the contrary Buffy wanted faster, and she told him so without words as her hand slipped behind his head and held him there as the kiss went on. When oxygen finally became an issue they pulled apart, both of them but mostly her looking a little embarrassed about it.

"That's a good speed for me right now" she said pulling away a little more, as the club seemed to come back into focus around her. It had all but disappeared when she was kissing Spike, her eyes had fallen shut and the whole world had gone away. Now it was back and she was oh so aware of the people that were all around, despite the fact she and her 'friend' were not the only people enjoying each other's embrace.

"Works for me" Spike told her as he watched her fiddle nervously with her empty glass, "Did you want another drink?" he asked and he was so relieved when she nodded.

As glorious as that kiss had been he really needed to get away from the table for a minute. She made his head spin, just the look in her eyes had made him feel things he couldn't describe and when he kissed her that had been something else. The real suprise was when she didn't want to stop, letting the kiss last longer and go deeper than he'd planned. She quite literally took his breath away and that worried him a little. As thrilling as it was to feel this way again, it only served to remind him of Drusilla. He'd felt such strong feelings for her, though in a different way. Still, it was a little confusing...

"You okay?" Buffy asked from behind him, making him jump slightly, "You were gone a while" she said when he turned to look at her, "I, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable" she said a little guiltily and Spike felt bad.

"Honestly, luv, you didn't" he promised her, "I just...S'pose you surprised me a bit is all" he admitted with a smile as he opened his wallet to pay for the drinks. He caught sight of the pictures there and sighed. Buffy saw them too.

"Is that Dawn?" she asked, putting her hand on his wrist and making him tilt it towards her so she could see better.

"Yeah" Spike smiled, "She was eight in that picture, and...and that's Dru, my wife" he said softly, one finger tracing the faces in the photo, "It was taken the Summer before she died" he added in all but a whisper and Buffy felt terrible.

"I'm sorry" she said, her hand lingering on his arm a little longer, hoping he was at least a little comforted by the gesture, "They look alike" she commented, finding it strange when Spike laughed lightly. She looked up at him with a puzzled expression and he apologised for his little outburst.

"Everybody says that" he explained, "Even the ones that know...Dawn's not really our kid, Buffy. Dru couldn't have them so we adopted her"

"You adopted..." Buffy began, finding the rest of the sentence got stuck somewhere between her brain and her mouth as she refocused on the picture in Spike's hand. Could it really be that her earlier assumptions had been correct, she wondered silently, could it be that Spike's daughter Dawn was biologically her little girl?

To Be Continued...


	12. She's The One

A/N : Wow, so many reviews on this chaoter. Thanx muchly to; Mita427, Moonjava, Kay, LiLi, demonica mills, XxsarahxX, Spuffy6, EMBER91, katie, Greenday4ever17, funkydevil206, sPIKEaNDmE, spuffygrl, bella-lover, Brunettepet, Moluvsnumber17, Apr18, and Baby Girl Gellar-Green. You all rock!  
(_For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 12 - She's The One

"You alright, luv?" Spike asked Buffy as their drinks arrived on the bar in front of them, "You look a bit pale all of a sudden" he observed. The blonde forced a smile.

"I'm fine" she assured him, "I just, I think I'm getting a headache is all"

"Oh, you wanna sit down again?" he suggested, picking up their drinks and walking back to the table with her.

Willow and Oz were now back but Xander could be seen across the room, talking to a woman Buffy recognised as Cordelia Chase. The first time she and Xander had come to the Bronze, he'd managed to get the girls phone number and for some reason when he asked her out she agreed immediately. Not that Buffy didn't love her cousin, but this Cordy on looks alone seemed kind of out of Xander's league. Still, she was just happy that he was happy. Best to wait and see what problems occurred and only worry about them if and when they did.

"You two not gonna dance tonight?" Willow asked and Spike shook his head, telling her Buffy had a headache.

Everybody immediately felt bad for her, making the blonde feel worse for lying. Her head didn't ache, the contents of it was just spinning at ninety miles an hour as she recalculated dates and crunched numbers, trying to remember details she knew and those she thought she should. The more times she worked it out, the more likely it seemed that Dawn really could be her baby. The very idea of it thrilled her and scared her beyond words.

"Buffy?" Spike said again, trying to get her attention and finally she seemed to notice.

"Sorry, did I zone out?" she asked with a strange look in her eyes.

"You still all headachy, Buff?" Willow asked, "Cos y'know we won't be offended if you wanna go home"

"No, it's okay" the blonde shook her head, "I'd rather wait for Xander anyway, it's kinda dark out there"

"I can walk you home, luv" Spike told her, "Be no trouble"

Buffy thought about it a little too long before finally agreeing. She apologised to Willow and Oz for breaking up the party as it were, and asked them to let Xander know she'd gone back to the motel due to a headache. They told her to get better soon and Spike took her hand in his to walk her home. The spontaneous action made Buffy smile as they headed off down the street together.

It was kind of romantic walking hand in hand in the moonlight, at least it would've been if she wasn't with the adoptive father of a girl that was possibly her biological daughter. The very idea of it was insane and made Buffy wonder if she wasn't just jumping to conclusions, but she'd considered before this how much Dawn sometimes reminded her of herself and very occasionally even of Xander. If they were related it were possible and the daughter she gave up had to be in Sunnydale, Faith wouldn't lie about it. Buffy also knew her math well enough to know her little girl would be headed for fifteen on February 9th, but she couldn't recall Dawn ever telling her when her birthday was, she was sure she'd have remembered if she had.

"You sure you're alright, pet?" Spike checks as he glances over at Buffy. She was right there beside him and yet it felt as though she was miles away, in a whole other world.

"Yeah" she nodded, "I told you, just a headache" she didn't like lying to him, he'd been so good to her and she knew she might very well be falling for him, but Buffy was too confused right now to try to explain this to anyone else, least of all Spike.

They arrived outside the motel and they faced each other to say goodnight.

"I'm sorry I spoiled your night" Buffy sighed, "I didn't want to"

"'S alright, luv" he told her, smiling at her as his fingers ran through her hair, "Plenty of other nights we can go the Bronze"

He leaned in to gently put his lips to hers before moving to plant another kiss on her forehead.

"You sleep tight, pet" he told her softly, "Rest that pretty head of yours til it feels better"

"I will" she smiled, turning to go into the building, "Goodnight" she said as she went and he replied in kind as she went through the front doors.

Buffy went up to her room and collapsed onto her bed in tears, but it wasn't sadness that made her cry like so many other times, it was a strange kind of hapiness. Spike was the best thing that had happened to her in a very long time, and it seemed as though she may have found her baby too, all in the same place, same house even. It was a crazy coincidence but nevertheless seemed to be for real. The only way she was going to know for sure was if she talked to Spike, and indeed Dawn, about it, but how did you tell your boyfriend that his daughter was your daughter too? And worse how do you tell your boyfriends daughter that you're her real mother? There was nothing to say that Dawn even knew that Spike and Drusilla were not her real parents, although his honesty about things and the fact he'd told her led Buffy to believe she must do.

It was just a few minutes later that Xander tapped on her door and came inside.

"Hey Buff" he said quietly, assuming her head was hurting still, "Willow and Oz told me you weren't feeling so good..." he stopped talking when he noticed the tear-tracks on her face, knowing it was not merely a headache that had made her come home early.

"I'm okay" she told him as he sat down on the bed beside her. She stopped crying a while ago but didn't exactly look convincingly okay yet.

"Is it Spike?" Xander checked, "You feeling a little weird about getting close to him? Cos y'know I saw a little kissage between you two"

"It's not Spike" Buffy assured him, "Or it is but, it's not getting close to him...Xander, I think I found my baby" she told him with a tearful smile, "I think it's Dawn"

"Dawn?" her cousin echoed, "Dawn as in Spike's daughter Dawn?"

"'Cept she's not" Buffy shook her head, "He and Drusilla adopted her because they couldn't have kids of their own. Xander she's almost fifteen, she's adopted and she's here in Sunnydale. That cannot be a coincidence, it has to be her"

"Woah, woah, woah" Xander slowed her down as she began to ramble at ninety miles an hour, "Now hold on a sec, Buff, and think about this"

"I have been thinking about it" she told him, "For a couple of weeks now, everytime she looks at me a certain way, things she says...God Xand, I thought I was going crazy, she looks so like me and you and even..._him" _she couldn't say his name, she'd never really forgiven him.

"You sure it's not your imagination playing tricks?" the brunette asked, knowing he mustn't let her get too excited just now. If she was mistaken, it would be such a huge blow, he couldn't bear to see his little cousin suffer anymore.

"It can't be Xander, it has to be her" Buffy said firmly, "Which means I have to talk to Spike about this...not a conversation I'm looking forward to" she admitted.

"Buffy, don't go crazy" Xander urged her, "but, be really sure before you mention this to Spike, okay? I mean, I don't know the guy all that well and I know that you like him a lot but I'm thinking if you get into all this and Dawnie's not her, there's no promises things'll ever be the same between you two"

He hated to see his cousin cry at that and he pulled her into a hug until her tears subsided.

"I think I love him, Xand" she cried, "I promised myself I'd never let another guy into my life this way but it's happened and..." she sighed and continued, "This has to come first, finding out if Dawn is my daughter has to be priority. I've waited too long Xander, I have to know"

"I get it, sweetie, I do" her assured her, rubbing her back soothingly, "I hate to see you all torn up over this, I just don't want you to find out you made a mistake and end up losing Spike too. He seems like a decent guy, and you could use one of those"

"I already have one" she told him, managing a watery smile as she hugged him, "But you're right, I don't want to lose Spike. I just have to hope that whatever happens he likes me enough to stay with me"

* * *

On Sunday morning Xander took Buffy to see the apartment he'd found and she agreed to them renting it. The landlord said they could move in whenever they wanted and since they didn't have much they managed to shift it the same day. Though Buffy was as happy as her cousin to get out of the motel and into a proper home they could make their own, she was terribly distracted by thoughts of both Spike and Dawn.

Monday morning was going to be difficult, both she and Xander were all too aware of that. There would be little opportunity for Buffy to talk to Spike since he didn't need to drive her to work anymore and in the office they didn't see each other much. Buffy decided that was probably a good thing since work was really not the place to 'drop the bomb shell' as Xander put it when she discussed the situation with him. After much thought the blonde decided to ask Spike over to dinner so she could tell him everything. Xander agreed to disappear for a few hours, either to see Cordy or go out with some work friends, so his cousin would have time to talk to her boyfriend about the bizarre situation they'd found themselves in.

* * *

"Hey there, Bit" Spike smiled as he picked Dawn up outside her friends house, "You have fun with your mates?"

"Totally" his daughter assured him as she got in the car and pulled on her seat-belt, "And you? Did you have fun with Buffy?" she asked him, with a look that Spike felt did not belong on a fourteen year olds face.

"Yes, we had fun" he told her, ignoring that look, "until Buffy got a headache of course and I had to walk her home early" he sighed, hating the fact their evening had ended like that. They'd been having a good time up until they'd kissed and despite the fact she'd initiated that moment, Spike was still wondering if it wasn't his fault she'd wanted to get out suddenly.

"...but I don't think it's weird, I mean you're not that old and..."

Spike tuned back in to the middle of his daughters latest ramble, now having no idea what he was talking about.

"Sorry, luv, what?" he checked, "Not too old for what now?"

Dawn sighed heavily in apparent annoyance.

"I was just saying" she began again, "Amanda's Mom has this new boyfriend and he's like ten years younger than her, which is way weird because she is like older than you already! Anyway, so then Janice said it's freaky having your parents dating but I told her she can't have an opinion cos she doesn't know cos her parents are still married and everything, and I told her it's not so weird cos my Dad has a really cool girlfriend, and it's not like you or Buffy are majorly ancient or whatever"

"Well, thanks, pet, nice to know I'm not a dinosaur just yet" he rolled his eyes, making Dawn giggle, "but seriously, you like Buffy?"

"Sure" his daughter confirmed, "She's nice, she's kinda like my friends, only older, which is cool" she explained, making Spike smile.

"It's a little disturbing to think I'm dating somebody that's like your friends only older" he laughed, "Still, I'm glad you like her"

It mattered a lot to Spike that Buffy and Dawn get along. He might only have known the blonde for a month but he already knew he was well on the way to being in love with her. He wanted her to be a part of his future, and if that was ever going to happen it was good to know that wouldn't cause problems with Dawn. The two women that currently mattered most to him in his life got along okay, Spike thought as he drove towards home with a contended smile on his face.

To Be Continued...


	13. Family Values

A/N : Thanx muchly to the latest reviewers; Moonjava, Baby Girl Geller-Green, funkydevil206, Ape18, Mita427, SiriusSpikeLover, demonica mills, kim, Moluvsnumber17, alba's room, katie, EMBER91, bella-lover, Brunettepet, and spuffygrl. You all rock, and I love all your ideas about what might happen! Here's hoping you continue to enjoy this story as it progresses.  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 13 - Family Values

Monday morning came too soon and Buffy knew she was going to have to face Spike at work. She was at least grateful he wouldn't be giving her a ride to work since she and Xander had managed to get the papers signed, the money paid, and their few belongings into the new apartment late on Sunday. It was going to take a little while to fix up their new home, but Buffy and Xander had found the last tenants had left the place in pretty good shape and thankfully it came fully furnished without being astronomical in price. Xander was pretty certain there was a catch somewhere, this great place for so few dollars, but until he found out what that catch was he planned to not worry about it much.

Buffy was too worried about Spike to have time to think of anything else, hence the reason she almost went to work in a pair of shoes that didn't match at all and a wrongly buttoned blouse. Thankfully Xander noticed and she sorted herself out before leaving for the office.

Getting in early she hurried through the main office and shut herself away in her own little space before Spike had a chance to arrive. It wasn't that she didn't want to see him, not really. He was possibly the best guy she'd ever dated and she was fairly certain she was falling for him, but what she had to talk to him about was so huge and wig-worthy, it made Buffy nauseous just to consider it.

It was nearing lunch time and the blonde had yet to leave her office, except for once when she was forced to run through to the ladies room. Still, running was precisely what she'd done and though she knew it was ridiculous she was so relieved when nobody stopped her on the way.

* * *

"I'm worried about, Buffy" Willow admitted as she put on her jacket to go to lunch, "I mean, none of us have talked to her since Saturday night when she was all head-achey and everything and this morning she's been shut in that office like the whole time"

"Maybe she's just busy" Oz shrugged, "Although Giles is out visiting clients all morning, I can't think she has that much to do"

"Thank God" Spike exclaimed suddenly, "I thought I was just being paranoid, but you noticed too?"

He'd been worrying all morning about the blonde. They'd got along so well on Saturday and when he'd kissed her it'd been heaven. Dawn had said she approved of her father's relationship and Spike was on Cloud 9 about the whole situation...until this morning. Xander had called him to say Buffy wouldn't need a ride to work since they'd already moved into their new place. Xander had called not Buffy, that was when Spike had started to feel his perfect little daydream with him and Buffy and Dawn had started to break down. Now she seemed to be avoiding him in the office and that only made him feel worse and wonder what he'd done wrong, not that he thought he could've done anything, he'd been a bloody gentleman and then some the entire time!

"So, you gonna go tell her we're headed for the Espresso Pump?" Willow asked him, "Cos if we're going we should kinda go now"

"You two go" Spike told her, "We'll catch up"

"Okay" the two red-heads nodded as they disappeared out of the office. Spike turned to the door that led through to Giles and Buffy's offices and knocked.

"Come in?" she called uncertainly, smiling nervously when Spike's head appeared around the door.

"You alright, luv?" he asked as he came into the room.

"Sure, why wouldn't I be?" she asked looking at the papers on her desk and not at him. Suddenly his hand came into view, catching hold of her wrist to still her frantic moving of paper. She glanced up and their eyes met.

"Did I do something to upset you somehow?" he asked, looking so worried about it that it only made Buffy feel worse.

"No" she promised him, "No, you didn't do anything I just...things are just a little complicated in my head right now" she admitted, at least it was mostly the truth.

In a moment Spike had grabbed another chair spun it around and sat down straddling it on the other side of the desk.

"Tell me what's on your mind, sweetheart" he said gently titling his head as he gazed at her. Buffy smiled at that, feeling suddenly embarrassed.

"I'm a sweetheart now?" she asked shyly and Spike realised what he'd said.

"Well, yeah" he said with a smirk, "You matter to me Buffy, I thought you knew that" he told her seriously, reaching across the desk to take her hand in his, "I want you to feel like you can talk to me, trust me with stuff y'know?"

"I do trust you" she was quick to tell him, "and I really like you a lot, Spike, I do..." she trailed off then, looking away and the bleached blond sighed.

"I sense a 'but' coming" he guessed.

"No" Buffy shook her head, squeezing his hand reassuringly, "No, I promise, no buts at all" she told him, "although there is kind of something I need to talk to you about, and it's not so much something for the office so...you wanna come over and see the new apartment one night this week?" she asked him in a rush, "I could cook dinner?"

"Sounds great, pet" Spike agreed, "Any night you like, I'm easy" he told her. She gave him a look and he replayed his last sentence in his own head.

"I should probably re-phrase that" he realised with a smirk, "Still, name a night, I can get Giles to sit with Dawnie or she can go to a mates house"

"No" Buffy told him, "You choose, work something out with Dawn and get back to me" she said, and Spike thought it was a little odd that she was so concerned about not upsetting his daughter. He considered it to be a good thing though, if the two women in his life were so concerned for each other feelings and his own, that could only lead to happiness all round, he assumed.

"Alright" he nodded, "I'll talk to the Bit and let you know. Meantime, you fancy grabbing some lunch at the Espresso Pump?" he asked, "Red and Oz are already down there"

"Sure" Buffy smiled, getting up and taking hold of the hand he offered, "Let's go"

* * *

"Alright, Bit?" Spike asked her as she got in the car, "Good day at school?"

"It was school, Dad" she rolled her eyes, "Not exactly a thrill"

"I remember" he nodded as he pulled away from the kerb and headed for home. They'd been driving for fully five minutes when Dawn sighed.

"Okay, spill"

Spike glanced between her expression and the road.

"What do you mean, Bit?" he asked and she rolled her eyes once again.

"Come on, Dad, 'fess up" she urged him, "We always get way talky on the way home from school. If not it's cos you're singing along to the radio, and hello you just totally ignored a Sex Pistols song!"

Spike looked first at her then the radio as the DJ told him what had just been played, his favourite punk band had just finished belting out God Save The Queen.

"Bugger" he muttered to himself, realising his mind had been so much on Buffy everything else had faded into the background.

"So, what's up? What's with the zone outage" Dawn pressed, getting a little worried now, "When Sandy Jackson's Dad started zoning out a lot it turned out he was having little black outs and seizures, and then..."

"Dawnie, calm down" Spike told her, hearing the hysteria creep into her voice, "I'm not sick, I promise you...I was just thinking is all"

"About what?" Dawn asked, a little more calmly now. She'd lost her mother, she couldn't bear to have her Dad leave her too.

"Buffy" he admitted with a sigh, "I think she's upset about something but she won't tell me what. She wants to talk to me about something, which may or may not be the same something, but she wants to see me one night this week for that"

"So what's the big?" Dawn shrugged, "You go over there tomorrow night and you talk and stuff and everything's fixed" she said simply, before making a face, "but if you guys make out or whatever, please don't ever tell me"

"Scouts honour" Spike smirked, stopping at the red light and turning to his little girl, "You're okay with me going over there tomorrow night?" he checked, "I mean, I can get your Grandpa Giles to come sit with you I s'pose"

"Or I could go over to Janice's to study like I told her I would, and then maybe just stay the night too?" she asked hopefully and the sight of her innocent little smile made Spike cave.

"Just this once, since you helped me out and all" he told her, ruffling her hair and making her complain. He didn't usually let her stay over at a friends house on a school night but Janice's parents were decent people, and besides if he didn't sort things out with Buffy soon he was going to wind up crashing the car from the constant zoning out.

"Oh we should so totally go tell her now!" Dawn said suddenly, practically bouncing in her seat.

"Who, what now?" he asked with frown.

"We should go pick up Buffy from work, tell her you're going over to hers tomorrow and then take her out for ice-cream or something" she suggested.

"You sure you just don't fancy ice-cream and you're using Buffy for an excuse to go?" Spike smirked.

"Maybe" Dawn conceded, "but you know if you don't tell her now she won't know til tomorrow morning and nobody likes to plans these things last minute"

All thoughtful and sensible but with a bit of fun thrown in, it was times like this that Dawn reminded Spike so much of Dru that it hurt. He hid it well, at least he hoped he did, but sometimes when she said a certain thing, looked a certain way, he felt like crying for the loss he'd suffered. It was crazy to think Dawnie wasn't his and Drusilla's baby by birth, she could so easily be mistaken for their biological child and had been on many occasions.

"God you really have to think about something other than Buffy" the girl sighed when she realised her father's eyes had glazed over again.

"Wasn't thinking about Buffy, Little Bit" he admitted softly, "Was thinking about your Mum"

Dawn didn't have an answer to that and the journey continued in silence as Spike drove them home. Dawn dropped off her school bag and changed her clothes, whilst her father tidied up a bit and checked himself in the mirror. Caught somewhere between memories of Drusilla and worries about Buffy, he felt a strange mixture of feelings that he'd like to get rid of as soon as possible.

Dawn and Spike were waiting outside Giles Electronics ten minutes before Buffy was due to get out of work. Dawn found it quite amusing to watch her father tap his fingers on the steering wheel and check his watch every few seconds. She hadn't seen him like this before, never so nervous over anything.

"Dad?" she said thoughtfully and he turned his attention from the door of he building to his daughter, "When you and Mom first dated, were you like this then?"

"Like what, Sweet Bit?" he asked looking confused.

"Hello, with the tapping and the clock watching and complete nervous overload" she giggled at the fact he hadn't even noticed he was doing all these things.

"No, pet" he smirked, "Much worse than that. Your Mum made me what I am now, which is a damn sight better than I used to be. Just think, your Dad might've been a geeky book-ish type if not for your Mum's influence"

Dawn burst out laughing then, unable to believe her father was anything other than coolness itself. She'd figured her parents had always been the way she knew them, and whilst it seems that may have been true of her deceased mother, it was not true for her Dad.

"You were really a geek?" Dawn laughed, trying to imagine it and failing.

"Yeah, I was" Spike rolled his eyes, "Complete with glasses and poetry writing and a nervous stammer reserved especially for all beautiful women" he admitted, "And exactly why the bloody hell am I telling you all this?" he cursed himself as his daughter bust up laughing all over again.

"Well, somebody seems happy" Buffy smiled as she stopped by the car and peered in at Dawn who could barely breathe she was laughing so hard.

"Laughing at her father's past misfortunes, pet" Spike smirked at the blonde, "'S what kid's do ain't it?"

"I wouldn't know" she said a little sadly as Dawn finally found her voice.

"We came to pick you up" she told Buffy, "To take you to the ice-cream parlour" she grinned, "You wanna come with right?"

"I don't know, Dawn" she said awkwardly, "Wouldn't you rather just go with your Dad?"

"Apparently I'm not good enough on my own anymore" Spike smirked, "What d'ya say luv? I'm buying"

"Okay" she conceded, getting in the back of the car and Dawn turned to look at her.

"Oh, Dad's gonna come over to yours tomorrow night if that's okay. I have a friends house I can go to so it's no big"

"Oh, okay" Buffy said, looking at Spike for confirmation of his daughters scheme.

"That okay with you, pet?" he asked, glancing at her reflection in the rear view mirror. She confirmed that it was, just as Dawn decided she liked the song on the radio and cranked it up, as she sang along. When she said she needed back-up, Buffy was a little stunned to hear Spike join in and soon found she couldn't help but sing too. It was such a happy little family scenario, if only it could all work out so easily.

To Be Continued...


	14. Kiss & Tell

A/N : Thanx to all you fantastic reviewer type people; funkydevil206, EMBER91, KelleyTheSelfToastablePopTart, Ape18, RealDramaQueen817, Brunettepet, katie, demonica mills, Mita427, Moluvsnumber17, SiriusSpikeLover, StarstruckT14, bella-lover, velja, spuffygrl, and Baby Girl Geller-Green. Here's the next chapter. Apologies in advance for the cliff-hanger-ish ending...  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 14 - Kiss and Tell

"Come in" Giles called as someone rapped on his office door just before three o'clock, "Ah, Spike, should you not be picking up Dawn?" he asked as his son poked his head round the door.

"Don't have a seizure, Dad, I'm just goin'" he rolled his eyes, "Just wanted to ask your beautiful assistant here what time she wanted me at her place for dinner?" he said, turning to Buffy who fought not to blush at the compliment he paid her.

"Is seven okay for you?" she asked shyly.

"Sounds perfect, pet" he smiled, before saying his goodbyes and disappearing again.

Giles went back to his work but Buffy had trouble concentrating. Part of her was looking forward to spending more time with Spike, he was so great and she could really feel herself falling in love. She did not, however, love the prospect of telling him she seemed to be the biological mother of his child. He was bound to feel weird about it, she did herself, and she just prayed he'd not hate her like Riley seemed to.

It had taken a lot for Buffy to love again after Angel, but Riley Finn seemed so nice and decent and he liked her a lot. She tried to force herself to love him, though she never quite fell all the way and to this day she was uncertain as to whether it was because she just didn't feel that strongly for him, or because she was wary of committing after what happened with Angel.

It had all meant nothing when they'd started to talk about their future, possible marriage and kids. Buffy had confessed she was already a mother, though she would never know the child. Despite her explanation, feelings of guilt and floods of tears, Riley couldn't see beyond the fact she gave up a child, her own flesh and blood. To him it was like some sort of sacrilege, and he said he had to leave. He couldn't look at her the same way anymore and he couldn't be in the same town as her knowing he couldn't be with her. He'd left within the week and Buffy had cried at the loss of a second man to love, despite the fact he hadn't meant half so much as Angel once had.

Now here was Spike, with all the good looks, style, and sexiness that Angel had, and all the goodness and kindness Riley had possessed rolled into one being. He was the perfect combination of positive attributes of both her past lovers and so much more than that. She smiled and daydreamed about the wonder that was William Giles to the point where it took her boss three attempts to get her out of her daze.

"My dear, are you quite alright?" Giles checked and Buffy was quite embarrassed to have been so deep in thoughts not befitting the workplace, especially not when the man involved was your boss' son!

"I'm fine, honestly" she told Giles, "I'm sorry, I guess I just zoned out a little"

"I was about to say that if you have preparations to make for this evening, I don't object to you leaving early. Now in fact, if you wish?"

Buffy checked her watch and found it was barely three thirty.

"Oh really, I couldn't" she protested, "It'd be like getting money under false pretences"

"Indeed Buffy" Giles smiled amusedly, "You are my assistant and at present I need no assistance. It is quite pointless you being here I assure you" he told her, "In fact, if you insist upon doing anything for me, your instructions are simply to have a wonderful evening with my son" he smiled.

"If you're really sure?" Buffy checked, tidying her desk and flipping off the computer monitor.

"I'm really sure" Giles confirmed as she put on her jacket to leave, "You know, you're the first woman William has paid any real attention to since poor dear Drusilla passed away" he commented and Buffy stilled movement for a brief second before continuing to get ready to leave, "I don't wish to make you uncomfortable or put pressure on you, my dear" Giles assured her, "I simply want you to know that...I have a good feeling about the two of you. I think you both could perhaps find a special kind of happiness together"

"I hope you're right" Buffy replied quietly, before saying goodbye and heading out of the door. Giles had no idea he'd only made her feel worse about tonight.

With a deep breath Buffy headed out of the building and walked to her new home. Xander would drop in just for a shower and a change of clothes before taking out Cordelia who he saw quite a lot at the moment. He promised not to be back till late and Buffy was grateful to him for that. She and Spike really did need to talk and there was no way of knowing how he would take what she had to say. Tonight was set to be perfect joy or a disastrous mess. Until it happened, Buffy couldn't know for sure which it would be.

* * *

Spike stood outside the door to Buffy and Xander's apartment, debating what the best thing was to do when she opened the door. Did he just casually say hello, give her a hug, kiss her as soon as he saw her...he had no idea. The only woman he'd ever really dated was Dru and he'd ended up married to her. Since her death, his friends and his father had encouraged him to get out there and meet new people but even with his new and improved looks and persona he had some trouble.

Feeling comfortable with women was easy, being their friend like he was with Willow and some of the other girls at work. Dating was a whole different game, and he didn't know where to begin. Buffy was so special, he wanted to get this right, hoping it'd last for a good few years yet. He was wary of rushing her after what had happened before but also so afraid of not moving fast enough and missing an opportunity. Having Dru snatched away too soon had made him see he should make the most of every moment her had on Earth, but for the most part his time had been spent on work and Dawn these past years. His little girl was growing up now, needing him less and less, and Spike had time for a life of his own, a life he hoped to share with Buffy he realised.

Giving up on planning anything and deciding to just go with the flow, Spike knocked on the door and a moment later Buffy opened it. She looked stunning in what seemed to be a new dress and with her hair all pinned up. Spike was glad he'd put a proper shirt and pants on tonight or he'd have felt decidedly underdressed.

"Hi" Buffy said almost shyly and he wondered why she looked as nervous as he felt.

"Hello, luv" he replied, and she was a little stunned to see his hand shake slightly as he handed her a bottle of wine, "Hope that goes with whatever you cooked"

"I'm sure it'll work" Buffy nodded as she invited him in and he commented on how great the new apartment seemed to be.

"I'd offer you a tour but it's pretty much what you see is what you get" she smiled, gesturing to the living space with kitchen and dining table all thrown in, "'Cept for the bathroom of course which is just like everybody else's and bedrooms which have y'know beds and...stuff" she rambled, hurrying off to check the food straight after. Spike bit back a slightly dirty remark about her 'beds and stuff' comment, in all honesty glad that she was as nervous as he was, even if it was ridiculous. He decided to do something about it.

"Why are we doing this, Buffy?" he sighed as he followed her to the kitchen area and leaned on the wall as she stirred pasta sauce in a pan on the hob.

"Doing what?" she asked worriedly, thinking this might be it, he might be about to dump her or something.

"Acting all jittery around each other, like a couple of dizzy teens" he smiled, amused by the patheticness of it all, "We're grown ups for heaven sake and yet every time I'm alone with you..." his sentence tailed off to nothing when she gave him her full attention and he tilted his head as he looked at her.

"Every time I see you I'm overwhelmed, first just by you, and second because I can't believe I've got you in my life" he told her solemnly.

"I never heard a 'dizzy teen' type boy say anything as beautiful as that" Buffy smiled, stepping closer to him. She wanted to take advantage of this moment, whilst he still cared for her. Within the hour the fairytale could well be shattered.

"A beautiful woman inspires beautiful words" he explained, "And you are that, luv, that and so much more"

He leaned down to kiss her then and Buffy loved this feeling, his arms around her body, his lips pressed firmly to hers. She could feel how much he cared for her, like a warm glow in her heart, only made stronger by the fact she felt the same about him.

Their perfect moment was disturbed as the pan of pasta boiled up, spilling hot water out over the stove.

"Oh damn" Buffy cursed, pulling way from Spike and turning to clear up the mess.

"Er, that mean it's done, pet?" he asked with an amused grin and she laughed in spite of herself.

"I guess" she said, "Why don't you go sit down, I'll save this if I can and bring it through in a minute"

He nodded in agreement and went to sit at the table to wait for her. When she appeared a moment later with the food in her hands he stood up again. As soon as the plates were put down he moved to pull out her chair for her like a gentleman and she smiled at the action, thanking him as she took her seat and he took his once again.

The meal passed pleasantly enough. The food was good, but the conversation was beige for want of a better word, all kind of average and boring, and Spike was beginning to wonder what the real point of the evening was. After all, Buffy had invited him over to tell him something, or so she'd said, and yesterday it had seemed like that something was a pretty big deal. Now she was sticking to talk of their friends, her cousin, his daughter, and nothing remotely earth-shattering. It was after they'd finished eating and moved to sit on the couch and drink coffee that he confronted her about it.

"Buffy, I'm not saying tonight's not fun so far but...why am I here?" he asked her, glancing between her and the contents of the cup in his hands.

"Oh, you remembered there was a reason, huh?" she sighed, looking away.

"Well, yeah" he nodded, not liking that she seemed reluctant to look at him all of a sudden. He put the cup down on the coffee table, and reached out to her, putting his fingers beneath her chin and turning her head so she was looking at him again.

"Buffy, pet" he said worriedly, "If this is you tryin' to tell me to sod off, that you don't want to see me anymore, I..."

The end of his sentence was lost as Buffy slid her hand behind his head and pulled him into a passionate kiss. Their arms wrapped around each other and she ended up more or less on his lap as tongues did battle and hands started to roam. When they were forced to part for air, they remained close, foreheads touching.

"That was...not entirely what I was expecting" Spike admitted, a little breathlessly.

"Me either" Buffy agreed, despite the fact she'd initiated it, "I didn't mean to...it wasn't the plan" she explained, "but I need you to know, Spike, that...that you mean so much to me" she told him, tears forming in her eyes.

"Hey now" Spike frowned when he noticed, "What's all this about?" he asked and Buffy pulled away from him, shifting off his lap and sitting back on the couch beside him.

"Tell me how you feel about me?" she asked him, with wide innocent eyes that Spike could happily have drowned in. He considered his answer carefully, desperate to tell her the truth but so worried she'd think this was going too fast again. Still, she was the one that had snogged him and she was asking how he felt, she must know he was serious about this.

"Buffy" he said softly, putting a hand to her cheek, "I'm falling in love with you" he told her so sincerely the tears she'd held in her eyes finally broke free and ran down her cheeks. Spike gently wiped them away with his thumbs, before asking her the same question she'd posed to him. She shifted a little awkwardly and when she finally spoke it was barely more than a whisper that escaped her lips.

"I think...I'm falling in love with you too" she admitted, "Faster and harder than I ever thought I could, and it scares me Spike, it really terrifies me" she cried.

Spike felt absolutely horrible for her as he pulled her into a hug and she sobbed into his chest, someone had hurt her, he could tell. Nobody was so wary of love without a reason. He himself had only loved once before and Dru had been cruelly snatched from him, but that she could not help. He guessed some bloke had treated Buffy badly, probably used and abused her or something, to the point where she was almost too afraid to trust in anybody else's affection.

Eventually she pulled away from him so he could see her face as she sniffed and tried to wipe away the worst of her tears and the mascara that had followed them down her cheeks.

"I have to tell you" she choked out, "I have to explain"

"Explain what, luv?" Spike asked her, not understanding at all.

"About my first boyfriend, the first man I ever loved" Buffy began to explain, "His name was Liam Murphy, but everyone called him Angel" she smiled at the fond memories that came before the badness, "I was fifteen years old and he was a transfer student in the senior year. First moment I saw him I thought I was in love. I couldn't believe it when he asked me out on a date. Within weeks we were confessing love for each other and I had Mrs Buffy Murphy, and Buffy & Angel Forever written all over my school books" she smiled sadly, shredding the tissue in her hands that she had used to clean up her face before. She couldn't look at Spike right now who sat there beside her silently listening to her tale.

"Before I knew it, Angel was asking me to the Prom. I was so proud that night, the only Sophomore at the Senior Prom. It was the best night of my life, at least I thought so when it started. After he'd got his crown for King, Angel said we had to go, he had a surprise for me. He'd booked a room in a fancy hotel, he said he loved me and he wanted it to be special our first time..._my_ first time" she amended sadly.

"He didn't...?" Spike asked vaguely and Buffy shook her head in the negative.

"No, I wanted to do it" she admitted, not at all proud of the fact, "I thought we were forever, I mean, he loved me and I loved him, right? Wrong" she shook her head, as she answered her own question, "After that night he was a different person. I guess he got what he wanted and didn't need me anymore" she cried, the pain almost as bad now as it had been the day it happened.

Though Spike hated to see her upset he didn't move to comfort her yet, he needed to hear the rest of he story, there had to be more to it than this.

"I was devastated when he wouldn't return my calls, wouldn't talk to me at all" Buffy continued, "And then when I finally went over to his house, he was too busy to see me, or so the half-dressed girl who answered the door told me" she said grimly, remembering Darla, Angel's ex, dressed only in one of his shirts as she'd stood in the doorway, telling Buffy how worthless and stupid she was.

"By the time I realised what had really happened, Angel had already left for college, and I was left literally holding the baby, or due to be" she explained.

Spike's eyes went wide when he realised what she was saying to him.

"You were...You had to get rid of his kid?" he frowned, feeling her pain, and guessing she'd had to abort the child.

"No" she said, shaking her head and confusing him further, "It was too late to...abort" she explained, "Spike, I had a baby girl" she cried as she looked at him at last, "She was adopted and..." she closed her eyes and took a deep breath before looking straight at him and saying what she must, "Spike, I think it's Dawn"

"Bloody hell!"

To Be Continued...


	15. Baby Girl

A/N : Thanx so much to all you reviewer type people for your constant support; StarstruckT14, Spuffy2008, TheRealDramaQueen817, sPIKEaNDmE, Miat427, Moluvsnumber17, Brunettepet, funkydevil206, Dark Drusilla, katie, demonica mills, Spuffy6, TammyDevil666, bella-lover, EMBER91, Baby Girl Geller-Green, KelleyTheSelfToastablePopTart, SiriusSpikeLover, velja, Sandra, spuffygrl, alba's room, and Ape18. Again I apologise for the big cliffhanger at the end of the previous chapter but no worries cos here is the next part right now!  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 15 - Baby Girl

"Spike, I had a baby girl" Buffy cried as she looked at him at last, "She was adopted and..." she closed her eyes and took a deep breath before looking straight at him and saying what she must, "Spike, I think it's Dawn"

"Bloody hell!" he gasped, all the breath quickly leaving his body as he stared at the tear-stained face of the woman beside him.

Dawnie wasn't his biologically daughter, he knew she had a real mother and father somewhere, of course she did, but to find out that it could be Buffy... Spike simply could not take in the concept. A million different emotions rushed around his body, he wasn't sure whether he wanted to stand or sit, stay or run. Words formed in his head but too fast for him to get any sentence to come from his lips, though his mouth opened and closed as he tried to make sense of what Buffy had just said.

"Spike, say something, please" she said worriedly, feeling sick as he seemed to look right through her.

"How?" was all he could find to say, and the blonde at his side looked down at her hands in her lap.

"My friend works at the records office" she explained quietly, "She told me my baby was okay, that she'd been adopted in Sunnydale... I had to find her, Spike, I had to see my baby girl" she said, trying to hold back further tears. Still he stared at her silently for a while longer before finally speaking and much more harshly than Buffy would've liked.

"You knew" he said, almost angrily, "You wanted to know me because of Dawn..."

"No!" she interrupted, "No, Spike, I wanted to know you for you, because I really like you I... I didn't know Dawn was my daughter, I'm still not absolutely certain but I..."

"You could be wrong" Spike interrupted this time, still not looking happy and Buffy shook her head.

"I can't know for sure" she admitted, "Faith, my friend, she told me my daughter was in Sunnydale and obviously I knew she'd be almost fifteen now but... Spike when I met you and her, I had no idea. It didn't even enter my head that she might be mine"

"She's not yours" Spike snapped, "She is _my_ daughter, _I'm_ her father"

"Spike, please" Buffy said in pleading tones, grabbing onto his arm as he tried to stand up and get away from her, "I know you love Dawn, I know you're the only Dad she's ever known and I don't want to ruin anything, I swear" she told him desperately, "I just wanted you to know the truth..."

"If it is the truth" he said glancing back at her, and Buffy stared at him, hating the fact she couldn't find the love for her in his eyes anymore.

"Her birthday" she sniffed, "is it February 9th?"

Spike looked pained as he slowly nodded.

"Day after Dru's" he smiled sadly, "Always said it was a weird coincidence and all..." his voice faded out and he stared down at the carpet once again.

"I'm sorry" Buffy whispered, not really sure what she was apologising for. Maybe because she'd spoilt tonight, maybe because she felt like she was damaging the memory of Spike's deceased wife, or maybe just because she hated to think he would never feel the same about her after this.

"Sorry, 's a funny word" Spike mused, "Say it for all sorts, never really understand the real meaning of it... why bother at all?"

Buffy frowned not really knowing what he meant, wondering if she'd just made the biggest mistake of her life in telling the truth for once. Spike got to his feet, arm slipping from her grip as he did so.

"I think, I have to go" he said absently, glancing around for where his jacket might be.

"Okay" Buffy nodded, trying not to cry anymore and finding it difficult as she stood up and fetched the jacket he'd been looking for. Their hands touched as she passed it to him and she pulled away sharply. He clearly didn't want to be around her anymore, she'd ruined everything. She was looking down and fighting tears when she felt Spike's fingers at her chin, lifting her head up til she was staring up into his eyes.

"I don't hate you" he told her firmly, sensing that was what she thought, "I just, think I need some time, digest everything, y'know?"

Buffy nodded in silence, grateful for small mercies as she swallowed hard.

"I'll see you" Spike said absently as he turned towards the door and stepped out.

As the door closed he stopped and leant back against it. Buffy was crying so loud he could hear her quite clearly through the thin wood and he felt terrible. In all honesty he could cry himself given half the chance.

Dawn was his daughter, not in the biological sense of course, but she'd never really asked about her real parents, always taking him and Dru as her Mum and Dad, even when told she'd been adopted. Now here was Buffy, a woman Spike knew he loved already, and she was Dawn's mother.

It made him feel guilty enough to think Buffy might be seen by others as a replacement for his wife who had passed away, but now she was about to take the place of Dru as mother to Dawnie too. He didn't want his precious girl pushed out in such a way, and it made him feel sick as he saw it all as his own fault. He'd got Buffy the job at his Dad's company. He'd taken her out, kissed her, confessed feelings for her. What Spike felt for Buffy he couldn't even begin to explain, different to what he'd felt for Dru but equally as strong or becoming so at least. Now this revelation had really thrown a spanner in the works, but it wasn't as if it was her fault.

Buffy didn't know Dawn was her daughter when she showed up in good old SunnyD. That meant she'd gotten to know Spike because she wanted to and not because she needed to. The feelings she professed to have for him had to be real, the look in her eyes, the way she kissed him, all supported that. Her feelings for him hadn't been altered one way or the other by her discovery that Dawn was most likely her daughter. It didn't change what Spike felt either and he hoped Buffy knew that, though he wasn't convinced considering the fact he knew she had only just stopped crying. He wanted to go back in there, hold her and comfort her, tell her it'd all be okay, but he couldn't guarantee such things.

If Dawn was Buffy's daughter and it seemed that she most likely was, she'd have to be told. Spike wasn't sure how his little girl would deal, knowing she'd been spending time with her real mother, never realising it. Spike had been planning a happy ever after type future in his head ever since he met Buffy, now he wondered if it would ever work out. In a fairytale it would, Dawn would be elated to find her birth mother and everyone would get along famously, Spike and Buffy would stay together forever and the three would make a perfect little family unit. Problem was, life wasn't a fairytale and the chances of everything working out so perfectly were approximately nil.

Suddenly the door opened behind him and Spike almost tumbled backwards into Buffy who gasped when she saw him there.

"I thought you'd gone" she said, looking so thrilled that he hadn't.

"I... I was thinking" he admitted, hating the sight of red rimmed eyes and tear tracks on her cheeks, "Didn't occur to me to walk at the same time I s'pose" he smirked slightly, not sure what he was supposed to say now.

"Spike, I'm sorry" Buffy apologised, "I never meant for this to happen, and I swear I had no idea Dawnie was mine when I came here, I really do like you, I think I love you, and now I know I ruined it all because you think I'm some kind of whore or just a horrible person for giving away a baby" she rambled on, "but I didn't want to, I..." she burst into tears once again and he stepped forward, wrapping his arms around her shaking form.

"'S alright, luv" he told her, rubbing her back soothingly, "You let it all out, I'm not going anywhere" he assured her as he manoeuvred them both into the apartment once again, kicking the door shut so he didn't have to let go of her. They sat down on the couch and she cried a while longer. When she finally stopped and looked up at him his eyes bored into her own.

"Buffy, I don't think badly of you, pet" he promised her, "What happened wasn't entirely your fault, and besides if there weren't people like you who need homes for their kids, me and Dru would never have been parents at all"

"I know" she nodded, swallowing hard, "but... Riley, my last boyfriend, he couldn't deal" she explained, "Knowing that I gave up my own child, it disgusted him... but I never wanted to Spike, you have to believe that. My parents, they were so ashamed, and they said if I kept the baby they'd throw me out. I couldn't bring up a child alone, Spike, I just couldn't"

"I know, kitten" he told her, hand still rubbing her back, "and I told you it's okay, you don't have to explain yourself to me of all people"

"But I do" she protested, "I just turned your life upside down, and the only thing I can do now is tell you everything, and how sorry I am, and hope that somehow you might still want me" her voice got smaller and smaller as she got towards the end of what she was saying.

"Want you?" Spike gasped, "Buffy, don't you get it yet? Fairly certain I'm bloody in love with you. Maybe some other fellas could switch that off when things get rough but I sure as hell can't" he told her firmly, "You are the first woman since Dru that I... I can't even tell you what you make me feel. Even if I wanted to hate you, which I don't since I have no reason to, I couldn't, Buffy, I just couldn't"

"But after what I told you...?" she began, so glad to know he still loved her and yet confused as to how he could.

"What? You think cos some bugger who claimed to love you got you in trouble and left you, that means I won't love you now?" Spike asked incredulously, "I'd like to give him a smack in the teeth, worthless git, but you did nothing wrong, luv" he told Buffy firmly, "Don't think I could've raised a baby in my early teens either, least of all without anybody's help"

"You might see it that way" she said sadly, looking away from his gaze, "Dawn won't"

"Maybe not" Spike agreed, "but before we get to all that, Buffy, you have to believe that I love you, yeah?"

"I do" she said, nodding once as she looked back at him once again, "I... I love you too" she admitted, though it scared her so much just to think it was true nevermind actually come out and say it to him.

"Way I see it that's just about all that matters, right?" Spike said softly, his hand lingering at her cheek, moving to tuck her hair behind her ear.

"Mostly" she nodded, resting her cheek in his hand, "but Dawnie..." she sighed, knowing she was just as important to both of them as they were to each other.

The poor girl's life was about to be turned inside out and Buffy couldn't bear to think of how she might react to the news that she was the woman that once abandoned her.

"It'll be alright, luv, I promise you" Spike said sincerely, "She's a good kid, got her head screwed on right. We explain everything to her, well, I'm not saying she won't get in a bit of a snit for a while, she is a teen after all" he smirked, "but she'll be okay. Trust me?"

"I do" she said, nodding gently, just knowing Spike really had no idea how much it took for her to trust anybody. Not counting Xander she hardly ever put her faith in anyone, and now here was Spike and she'd just told him the larger part of her life story, because she loved him and it was amazing to her.

He leaned in to kiss her softly on the lips and Buffy couldn't believe he was still here, still wanting and loving her. She'd been so afraid of telling him the truth, so scared he'd yell and rave, and then walk out and never come back. The relief she felt that he'd stayed eased her panic over telling Dawn the truth of the situation, but it didn't irradicate it completely. Buffy would never be completely relaxed until she and Spike had the impending serious talk with a girl that appeared to be daughter to them both.

To Be Continued...


	16. Past, Present, Future

A/N : Sometimes it feels like these fics just write themselves, and I've had a couple of good days with them lately so you guys get the reward! Fast updates seem to be generally well received and I always like to do my best for you reader types. I really appreciate all the reviews, the compliments are of course great but I also appreciate the constructive criticism and honest opinions you share with me. Thanx so much to; Ape18, Mita427, katie, SiriusSpikeLover, LiLi, Spuffy2008, KelleyTheSelfToastablePopTart, Sandra, DoWnEr, TammyDevil666, funkydevil206, Emma, alba's room, EMBER91, Baby Girl Geller-Green, Brunettepet, spuffygrl, velja, and Moluvsnumber17. Now, on with the chapter - hope you like.  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 16 - Past, Present, and Future

"Mornin' sweetheart" Spike grinned as he came into the kitchen and found Buffy at the stove making pancakes, still wearing just a kimono-style dressing gown over her nightwear.

"Hey you" she smiled as he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, "Spike! Stop it!" she was soon complaining though half-heartedly so as he kissed her neck and completely distracted her from her cooking.

"Is it my fault you look so damn sexy in the morning, pet?" he said giving her a look, "Or that I love you so much it's driving me crazy?"

"William Giles you say the sweetest things" she sighed as she put down the spatula, turned in his embrace, and put her arms around his neck as she kissed him. His hands slipped inside her dressing gown and she moaned a little in pleasure just as the kitchen door swung open.

"Eew, guys!" Dawn complained, "Are you trying to scar me for life or something!" she said, turning her back on the disturbing scene, but unable to keep from smiling.

"Sorry, sweetie" Buffy apologised as she pulled away from her man and tied her clothes around her body once again, "It's all safe, you can turn back now, no more parental PDAs" she smirked.

"The scene might be safe" Dawn rolled her eyes as she turned back and hopped up on a stool by the counter, "but whatever you were cooking's kinda not" she pointed.

"Damn!" Buffy complained as she realised the pancakes in the pan were now burnt to a cinder and completely inedible.

"Bloody hell, luv" Spike laughed lightly, "Never known anyone who can ruin food like you" he chuckled.

"Stop it!" she pouted, swatting him across the arm, "I can't help it if I'm not all domestic girl"

"It's okay, Mom" Dawn assured her with a smile, "I was just thinking how much I wanted cereal this morning anyway, weren't you Dad?" she asked Spike, giving him a look that said he should agree.

"Oh yeah, cereal, definitely" he agreed over-enthusiastically and Buffy half-smiled.

"You're very sweet" he told them, "Both lousy liars, but very sweet" she declared as she took the skillet over to the waste bin and tipped the charcoaled contents in.

As she looked down at the blackness something caught her eye, something moving.

"What the...?" she frowned as she leaned down to get a better look. Suddenly a hand shot out, grabbing her own and wrenching her forward as a swirling portal opened up and she tumbled head first into it.

"Never gonna happen, Buff" said the evil voice of one who was long dead, but still haunted Buffy's dreams, something she realised this was as she sat bolt upright in bed, breathing erratically and sweating profusely.

"Oh God" she sighed, putting her hand to her head and checking the clock on the night stand. It was one-thirty in the morning and she was alone in her bed, in the slightly dingy apartment she shared with her cousin.

A few hours ago she had been sitting on the couch with Spike, spilling out all her secrets, confessing that it seemed likely his adoptive daughter Dawn was in fact her own child.

Despite everything, Spike still loved her and Buffy knew she loved him too. Whatever happened they wanted to be together, but if it turned out to be true, that Dawnie really was the baby Buffy had been forced to give up years ago, it could get very awkward. There was nothing to say the girl would want to meet her new mother and if she did, if she would accept her into her life easily.

Buffy knew that if she couldn't win Dawn over, she would lose Spike too, and that filled her with dread. For the first time in over fifteen years she had a guy in her life that she felt she could really love and make a life with. Angel had been everything to her when she was young and she'd dream of various different happy ever after endings they could have...even after he left her behind. Now she was already dreaming of life with Spike and Dawn, a happy little family that she would love so much. If things went badly it'd be her alone again, with Xander most likely but as much as she loved him he could never be what she really wanted. A man to love and be loved by, romantically, eternally, and yes if she was honest sexually too. She was a hot-blooded woman after all, and on the right side of thirty...just. Spike was very attractive, gorgeous in fact, and in a simple world Buffy knew her head would be constantly filled with thoughts of a bedroom-related nature. Still, this was not a simple world she was living in, her trust of people was limited to a harsh degree and the situation she was in was such that once the truth was universally know about herself and her possible connection to Dawn, well, it was entirely possible Spike would never want to even see her again.

Knowing sleep was unlikely to come to her again easily with such serious and quite frightening thoughts filling her head, Buffy got up, threw on her dressing gown and headed into the kitchen to get a glass of water. She jumped with alarm where she flicked on the light and found a figure half sticking out of the refrigerator. Her hand was on her chest and she breathed heavily as Xander's head appeared around the door, mouth full of something he'd found to cure his munchies.

"Xand, you nearly scared me half to death!" Buffy told him, a little angry at being surprised like that, but of course knowing he hadn't done it on purpose.

"Sorry, Buff" he apologised, around his mouthful, he thankfully swallowed before continuing, "Me and Cordy kinda didn't do so much eating tonight" he admitted as his cousin walked past him to fill a glass with water from the faucet.

"How can you go to someone's apartment for dinner and not...oh" Buffy said knowingly off his look, "So, you and Cordy are for definite, huh?"

"Pretty much" Xander grinned. Buffy knew her cousin too well to think he would jump straight into bed with a girl unless he was really serious about her. He wasn't the kind of guy that used anybody, and he got too attached to the people in his life too easily to be the one night stand type.

"I'm happy for you, Xand, really I am" Buffy smiled as she hugged him. He was grateful for her support until a realised he was getting a wet shoulder and his cousins body shook in his arms.

"Hey, what's this Buff?" he asked her, gently rubbing her back, "Did things not go well with Spike? Oh sweetie, I'm sorry" he said kindly. Buffy shook her head and tried to wipe her face dry of tears as she pulled away from him.

"No, me and Spike are okay" she explained, "At least so far we are but... I'm so scared Xand, I'm so scared about what Dawn will think, and if she doesn't want me around then I'm gonna lose Spike... it's been such a short time but, I really love him Xander, I love him so much it hurts" she admitted as she fell back into his embrace, sobbing like a child.

Xander had no idea what to say or do, he just held her whilst she cried and hoped that in that small way he was helping. There was no way to know what would happen next, although he took it as a good thing that Spike had taken Buffy's news well and still wanted to be with her. From what he'd seen of Dawn she seemed like a nice girl, not the nasty type, but there was no telling how she might react to her real mother being back in her life, if of course that was what Buffy was, it still wasn't definite. That could mean a whole other load of heart-ache in itself.

"Look, Buff" Xander said after a while, "I get that it's scary, I do, but so was coming here, so was letting another guy into your life, but you did those things and it's still okay" he told her as he made her look at him, "Sweetie, we have to look on the bright side, it could all work out right"

"I guess" Buffy nodded, sniffing loudly.

"And y'know if it doesn't work out, and that's a real big if" he stressed, "You know you've always got me, and I will always be there for you no matter what"

She managed a watery smile then as she hugged him tight.

"I love you, Xander" she told him sincerely, "You're the best cousin in the whole world ever"

"You better believe it" he grinned as he held her just as tight.

* * *

"What the bloody hell have I got myself into, Dru?" Spike asked the framed picture in his hand as he downed his third bourbon. Okay so drunkenness wasn't entirely productive and especially not in the early hours of the morning on a work day but Spike was having trouble knowing which way was up before the alcohol even touched his lips. Seemed to him if clear things got foggier after several shots, maybe the opposite would be true - turned out he'd gone one theory too far with that one.

Buffy had stunned him enough when she'd kissed him like she had, so full of heat and passion, and this from the woman that had wanted to take things snail-pace type slow. He thought that had been shocking, he'd had no idea what was to come.

In all likelihood it seemed his daughter, little Dawnie, was in fact the spawn of Buffy and some nasty git they called Angel who'd used his fifteen year old girlfriend for sex on Prom night and then disregarded her. The poor chit had found out she was pregnant and been forced by her parents to give up a daughter she could not support alone, and now here they were fifteen years later. Dawn had been adopted, brought up calling Spike her Dad and Drusilla her Mum, not taking much interest in the fact she was not biologically their child.

For himself it was bad enough, but Spike could not visualise a scenario where he could tell Dawn that Buffy was probably her real mother, and get out alive. Despite the fact she did not have his genes, his Little Bit sure had his temper, and though neither of them got mad very often, when they did get fierce they got almost completely out of control. Drusilla was never violent, always the calming influence on the pair of them. In some weird way Spike wished she was here with her wise council now, though of course if she were still around he wouldn't be in this situation. Buffy might still have turned up and all, but he might not have cared quite so much if Dawn decided she wanted to hate the mother that had given her up. Spike would still be married and totally in love with his wife, the small blonde wouldn't even have been a blip on his radar, just another in a long line of Dad's wacky assistants.

Spike stopped his train of thought there and realised that wasn't right. If Dru had still been around he never would have got Buffy an interview for the job and so she'd have missed the deadline for applications. If she'd had no contact with himself or Dawn, she might never have realised her daughter and his were one and the same. Spike laughed painfully as he realised this whole entire mess was exactly his own fault for letting a new woman into his life. If he'd have just not been so drawn to the girl who the first time he met he'd spilled coffee all over, none of this would have come to pass, and he wouldn't be faced with the possible dilemma of having to choose between his little girl and his new love. He loved Buffy now, was so in love with her it hurt, but Dawn was his Little Bit and if she decided she wanted nothing to do with her biological mother then he would agree to stay away from the blonde too, even if it killed him to try.

"Shouldn't've looked, luv" he sighed, sitting down heavily on the couch and tracing a finger around the image of his poor dead wife, "Should've stayed faithful to you, shouldn't matter that you're gone" a lone tear ran down his cheek and he thought of all he'd lost, all he could still lose.

As he gazed at the picture in his hands, words travelled down through time, flashes of scenes, old memories he'd half forgotten before. The exact moment he'd first laid eyes on Drusilla, the first words she'd spoken to him, the entirety of their first conversation was almost clear as crystal. Then later, days, weeks, months, as she transformed him into Spike, the even wilder version than that which he was today.

"I feel ridiculous" he'd said, as she stood him in front of the full length mirror in her bedroom, in the long leather coat she'd convinced him to buy not an hour ago.

"You look delicious, my sweet Spike" she'd told him, kissing him til his head spun. The coat had ended up on the floor with all their other clothes as they made love for the first time, and Spike remembered it now as clear as if it were yesterday, but it wasn't, it was so long ago, a time that had passed and was now irretrievable.

In the morning he'd told her again how much he loved her, and thanked her so much for coming into his life and turning it upside down in the process. He wanted her to know how grateful he was for how she'd changed him, made him the man he was now.

"I didn't change you, my darling" she'd smiled with a shake of her head, "You were always Spike on the inside" she'd told him, fingers making idle patterns across his bare chest as they'd lain naked together still, "I just came and set you free, showed you how life could be for us"

"If someone had told me a year ago that my life would be like this now, I'd've said it was impossible" he'd laughed until she silenced him with a kiss.

"Nothing is impossible, sweet William" she'd whispered in his ear, "Not when you are in love as we are"

The words she'd spoken then had been sweet and meaningful of course but they meant something even stronger now. He doubted she'd ever meant for him to remember these things she said so clearly but he had, he was recalling them now and they gave him hope.

If he loved Buffy, as Spike knew he truly did, nothing was impossible. There was every possibility that Dawnie might welcome a woman in her life again, and though she may be shocked at first to find Buffy was her real mother, she would come around in time, he was sure of it.

"Thanks, luv" Spike smiled, as he gently kissed the photograph he held and stood to place it back on the mantlepiece, before turning to the stairs and taking himself off to bed for a few short hours. Though the problems of the night remained, his love for Buffy did too and that was what he'd needed to realise. Good old Dru, even in death she was sorting him out, getting him out of a deep depression or a dodgy situation, and despite the fact he was happy to let Buffy into his life he'd always be thankful for the memory of Drusilla and her guidance.

To Be Continued...


	17. Uncomfortable Situations

A/N : Been feeling kinda sick the last couple of days - how is it possible to get something they call a 'cold' when the weather is so warm? Whatever, I managed to get this chapter done for you anyway! Thanx to; Baby Girl Geller-Green, demonica mills, EMBER91, Ape18, katie, Sandra, Rowan Rice, CaroMio, Mita427, Spuffy2008, alba's room, Moluvsnumber17, and bella-lover, for the latest reviews. This fic has just a little way left to go, maybe four or five chapters I think but we'll see what happens. Meanwhile, here's the next chapter.  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 17 - Uncomfortable Situations

Neither Buffy or Spike were really looking forward to going to work the next day. They'd both spent most of the night staring at the ceiling rather than sleeping and were therefore in no real fit state to face their jobs or moreover each other. Still, Buffy couldn't afford to not go to work, she needed the money if she and Xander were going to keep the apartment. As for Spike, as much as he wanted to avoid Buffy in one way, in another he really needed to see her.

As coincidences often happen, Buffy and Spike arrived at Giles Electronics at exactly the same moment and looked at each other awkwardly on the doorstep.

"Hey" she managed half a smile, though Spike noticed she looked like she could use some sleep, didn't stop her looking beautiful to him though.

"Hello, pet" he replied to her greeting.

It was insane, all the secrets they'd shared before, and now even a simple hello was a big deal and neither of them knew what they were supposed to say after it.

"Er, you okay?" he asked, mentally cursing himself straight after for such an idiotic question.

"Okay as I can be" she answered him quietly, "You?"

"Gettin' there" he nodded, "'S all a bit weird still, y'know?"

"Yeah" Buffy nodded her head too, "Weird, awkward" she agreed, looking at her feet, then back at Spike as he opened the door for her and they finally went inside.

They rode the elevator in silence for the first couple of floors as people went in and out, then when they continued on up the building alone Spike couldn't take it anymore and he hit the button to halt the elevator mid-level.

"What're you doing?" Buffy frowned, "We're going to be late" she worried, reaching to press the button again and get them moving, but Spike's hand caught hold of her wrist and stopped her.

"Please, luv" he begged her, "Just give us five minutes, we have to talk"

"I don't think five minutes is going to solve the biggest dilemma of my life" Buffy told him, sounding almost tearful again.

"_Our_ lives" Spike stressed as he pulled her around to face him and put his finger beneath her chin, raising her head til she looked at him, "Buffy, I know you've been through a lot, and that this whole situation didn't really turn out how you planned, but it's not something you have to try and fix alone" he assured her, fingers sliding across her cheek and pushing her hair back behind her ear, "Sweetheart, I know it's complicated, what with Dawnie and everything, but if we handle this right it could all turn out okay"

"But it might not..." Buffy protested, swallowing hard so she didn't break down and cry like she really wanted to.

"But it could" Spike argued, "I love you, Buffy" he reminded her, "And I don't want to lose you from my life. I know Dawn's going to be surprised when she finds out about you, hell, so was I, but I have to hope it's going to be okay...I can't stand the thought of having to let you go" he said, voice disappearing almost complete by the end of his sentence. She really did mean so much to him.

"Spike, I don't want to lose you either" Buffy admitted, voice shaking and one lone tear escaping down her face, "I don't know how it happened but I love you so much, and I so want this to work out" she promised him as they held each other, "but I'm scared" she admitted shakily, "I'm scared of losing you and any chance I might have of knowing Dawn better"

She was crying openly by now and Spike pulled her body close to his, rubbing her back and trying to comfort her, though he felt he could quite easily break down too.

"Maybe it's better if we wait a while to tell Dawnie the truth" he suggested, hating the idea of effectively lying to his daughter but finding the prospect of losing her and/or Buffy ten times worse than a temporary withholding of the complete truth.

"How will that help?" Buffy asked as she pulled away to see his face, trying to wipe tears from her face at the same time.

"Well, you could spend more time with her, with us" Spike suggested, "Maybe if she got to know you better, got to like you, then it'd be easier for her to find out the truth"

"Are you sure that's okay with you?" Buffy asked him, knowing how much he loved the girl and would hate concealing this from her.

"Seems to me to be best for everyone, pet" he told her, "If you agree that is"

Buffy seemed to consider it for a moment before nodding her head.

"Yeah, I think it's a good idea" she managed a slight smile as she answered him, "I really want this to work, Spike" she told him, "You, me, and Dawnie, like a family"

"Sounds good to me, luv" the bleached blond smiled as he kissed he tenderly, "One step at a time though, eh?"

"Of course" Buffy agreed as they finally seemed to remember where they were and indeed where they ought to be by now, "Oh God, Giles is going to kill us!" she exclaimed as she pushed the button on the elevator, at the same time grabbing the mirror from her back and assessing the damage to her make-up.

"No big deal, pet" Spike assured her as they reached the correct floor and the doors pinged open, "You hurry along to the ladies, get your face fixed up, I'll square it all with dear old Dad for the both of us" he told her, ushering her down the hall.

"Will you tell him the truth?" she asked, looking a little scared.

Spike shook his head.

"Not really the time and the place, luv" he decided, "I'll cover though, it'll be fine"

"Thank you, Spike" Buffy smiled as she disappeared around the corner, and he took a deep breath before he headed into the office where Rupert Giles waited, looking at his watch and tapping his foot impatiently.

"Dad, I can explain..." Spike sighed, thinking fast and explaining away both his tardiness and Buffy's apparent absence so far. Though his father accepted the lie and disappeared back into his own office, Willow and Oz wondered what had really happened last night and asked Spike just that when he sat down at his desk beside them.

"So you and Buffy" the red-head woman grinned, "Big date last night, huh?"

"Hardly call it that, luv" Spike sighed, "but, it was... interesting"

"Interesting, huh?" Willow giggled and Oz smirked too.

"I apologise for my wife" he told his friend, "She gets a little school-girl-ish over other people's love lives"

Spike suddenly seemed to realise what the pair thought had happened as his eyes went wide as dinner plates.

"Bloody hell, Red" he gasped, "Me and Buffy, we did not... there was none of that" he said firmly putting her straight and Willow looked quite disappointed as she let it go on Oz's insistence and went back to her work.

The next thing to catch her attention was Buffy's entrance a moment later and the shy little smile she shared with Spike as she walked through to her own office. If nothing had happened last night, what exactly had made them both late for work and all snappy and jittery as they seemed to be as the day progressed, Willow could not think at all. She'd love to find out, but she wouldn't ask and upset anybody, she chose just to watch and listen, and maybe at some point it'd all become clear.

* * *

"Hey Bit" Spike smiled as his girl reached the car and climbed in beside him, "Good day, luv?" he asked her.

"Yes actually, it kinda rocked" Dawn grinned, off her father's questioning look she elaborated, "RJ Brooks talked to me today"

"Who the bloody hell is RJ Brooks?" Spike wanted to know and his daughter rolled her eyes as they drove along towards home.

"Only like the cutest guy in school!" she explained, in a tone that screamed 'duh!', "And captain of the football team"

"Uh-huh" Spike nodded, not liking this boy already, "And he's how old exactly?" he checked.

"Seventeen" Dawn sighed as she thought of him, "And oh so fine"

Her fathers hands tightened on the steering wheel, though he hadn't meant to increase his grip. Spike did not like the idea of Dawn falling for some older lad, or moreover said lad taking an interest in her. She was only fourteen, okay, granted she was actually closer to her fifteenth birthday than her fourteenth but that wasn't important. She was his little girl, and apparently Buffy's he remembered, quickly switching the focus of his thoughts to last night.

"Did you have fun?" Dawn asked as if she'd read his mind, "Last night I mean, with Buffy?"

Spike glanced at her awkwardly before turning his eyes back to the road.

"Okay, eeeww" his daughter said loudly, wrinkling her nose, "I really do not need to know if you had that good a time" she winced at the very idea of her father having sex.

"You mind your manners, Bit" he snapped a little at her, "You should have a little more respect for me, and Buffy for that matter" he told her, "Thought I brought you up better, knowing that you don't just tumble into bed with anyone you damn well fancy"

"I know" Dawn told him softly, wondering why he was suddenly so angry at her, "I was just joking, I didn't mean to make you mad" she said, pouting and folding her arms over her chest like a sulking child of much less years than she was.

"I'm sorry, Dawnie" Spike sighed as he stopped at the traffic lights and turned to look at her, "I didn't mean to get snippy with you I just... I just worry about you is all" he told her and she smiled.

"I get that" she nodded, "but you don't have to worry so much. I'm not stupid remember, you and Mom raised me right, you did such a good job, really"

"Good to know, pet" Spike smiled, though he felt like crying on the inside. This was some bloody mess he was stuck in the middle of right now, he only hoped it would get simpler in time.

If Buffy could spend more time with himself and Dawn, the three of them in a family type situation, perhaps it'd be okay when it was revealed that the blonde was Nibblet's real mother. Spike found he had to at least hope it was true or he was going to go crazy before the week was out!

"Er, Dawnie" he said, glancing at her, "How would you feel if I asked Buffy to come over for dinner on Sunday?" he asked almost nervously, "Just thought it might be nice for us to sit down together, talk and stuff"

"You really like her, don't you?" Dawn replied, without answering the question.

"Yeah, I do" Spike nodded as he pulled the car onto the drive and switched off the engine, "What do you think about that?"

His daughter looked thoughtful for a moment before she answered and Spike saw just a little bit of Buffy in her - it was strange, he'd never noticed before, but then he'd never looked for it.

"I think it's cool you have someone to hang with" Dawn answered eventually, "Someone female that you like and that likes you. Buffy's cool too, not all stuffy and boring like most people your age" she smirked.

Spike rolled his eyes, pretending to hit her up the back of the head for that comment, but barely touching her really.

"Cheeky mare, you are" he told her as they got out of the car.

"Maybe" she giggled, "But it's fun" she said as they walked up to the house and went in through the front door.

"So dinner on Sunday" Spike reminded her as she made for the stairs, "It's okay with you if I invite Buffy?" he checked

"Sure" Dawn shrugged, "Could be fun, I guess" she realised as she smiled and then ran up the stairs to her room.

"Bloody hope so, luv" Spike said more to himself than anyone since Dawn could no longer hear him, "Bloody hope so"

To Be Continued...


	18. Family Dinner

A/N : Thanx to all my recent reviewers; Mita427, Baby Girl Geller-Green, EMBER91, spuffymonica, Spuffy2008, bella-lover, Moluvsnumber17, Brunettepet, PltnmDancer, Sandra, LiLi, katie, aej1085, Life'sSlayer, Rebel Goddess, Spike And Kasha, spuffygrl, Bittersweetbloodbaby, angelfan86, and Alba (hope you get better soon!). To all who mentioned that they hoped I got better soon, I am now fine. Thank you so much for your kind words about that, and of course about the chapter. Here's the next part...  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 18 - Family Dinner

"Wow" Dawn commented as she came down the stairs and into the dining room, "Double wow" she amended. The first one had been for how good the food smelt suddenly, the second for the very stylishly set dinner table, "Way to get fancy with the table decoration, Dad" his daughter smirked from the doorway.

"Too much?" Spike worried, stopping half way to putting the third set of cutlery on the table.

"No" Dawn told him, pausing as he sighed with relief before adding, "I mean if Buffy was like the Princess of something, it'd be perfect" she giggled and Spike rolled his eyes.

"It is too much" he sighed, "and I should've known that. I don't know what the bloody hell's the matter with me" he muttered as he stormed through to the kitchen and Dawn followed him, feeling bad that she might've upset him.

"You okay, Dad?" she asked as she came through the door and found him leaning on the counter looking pained.

"Sure, Nibblet, I'm fine" he assured her as he opened his arms and she went to him for a hug, "'S just weird is all" he admitted, "I mean, yeah, I invited Buffy over and everything, and I like her and all but..."

"You never did this for anyone but Mom?" Dawn supplied, guessing that was the problem.

It was weird for her too, having a new woman in her and her father's life, but she liked Buffy and as strange as it was, it was kind of nice to have her around too.

"I fell for Dru in High School, ended up marrying her, there never was anyone else" Spike sighed as he looked down at his little girl and pushed her hair off her face affectionately, "Now I don't want you thinkin' I regret anything, not a bit of it. Two best things to happen in my life were Dru and you, luv"

"But maybe Buffy's the third best thing?" Dawn ventured.

"Could be, Bit" Spike nodded, "My liking her so much doesn't make Drusilla any less special to me though, you either for that matter. You will always be my precious girl, yeah?"

"Always" Dawn smiled, both of them feeling stupidly emotional as he hugged her again and kissed the top of her head.

"Now then" he said a moment later, "Seems to me we ought to sort that mess of a table out and get changed before Buffy gets here"  
"The table I get" Dawn nodded, "but we have to change clothes for her. Again I say, is she the Princess of something?"

"I know she'll make an effort, always bloody does" Spike told her as they de-fancied the table, "and I won't have us disgracing ourselves in front of company, right?"

"Message received, loud and clear" Dawn mock saluted, only to have a napkin thrown in her face, which made her laugh.

* * *

"You sure you're okay here alone?" Buffy asked Xander as she hovered by the front door.

"Buff, I got beer, chips, and rented videos of sports" her cousin grinned from his position on the couch, "Throw in Angelina Jolie in her underwear and it's pretty much guy heaven" he told her.

"Okay, first eeeww" Buffy replied, "Second, what would Cordelia think if she heard you say that?"

"Pretty much what you just said actually" Xander shrugged, "All big with the eeeww, but it's not like she doesn't get the lusty wrong feelings for famous guys, like the guy in that show with the vampires..."

"Spare me the details" Buffy begged of him, "I can live without knowing your girlfriends blood-lust fantasies" she smiled, "I should be going anyway" she said, hand reaching for the door but not actually opening it yet.

"I think that book on telekinesis you bought was a big waste of time and money" Xander said a few moment later, off his cousins confused look he explained, "No matter how long you stare at that door it really is not going to open by itself" he smirked.

"I know" Buffy sighed, "I just... Oh God Xand what if all goes wrong?" she said, the panicked hysteria already creeping into her voice, "What if Dawn thinks I'm horrible? Or what if I say something stupid? Or what if I forget and kiss Spike in front of Dawn and she freaks out? Or what if he leaves us alone and she asks a lot of questions I can't answer, or worse tells me she wishes I'd never come into her life?"

"Buff, breathe" Xander begged of her as he got up from the couch and came over to her. She was having a real panic about this, to the point where she wasn't breathing so well and she was turning a funny colour.

"But Xander what if...?" she began only to be interrupted by her cousin.

"Buffy, enough with the what if's already" he told her, hands on her upper arms and he made her look at him, "Sweetie, you can't live life around all the maybe problems and possible issues, you know you can't"

"I know" Buffy nodded eventually, "but Xander, I've waited so long to find her, and without knowing it, him too. I finally have this great guy in my life that I could really love, and I found my little girl right in the same place" she said, voice wavering as tears sprang to her eyes, "One wrong move and I could lose them both forever" she cried and Xander pulled her into a hug.

"Buffy, sweetie" he said as he rubbed her back, "I know it's a huge deal, and I get it, I do, but you have to face this situation some time and the longer you wait the more you'll worry about it til it becomes an even bigger deal than it already is" he explained.

"I know, you're right" Buffy smiled as she sniffed and brought there head up from his shoulder, "I hate that" she joked and he kissed the top of her head.

"Now, go clean up for your face and leave me to my guy time" he told her mock sternly, "You got a place to be"

"I do" she nodded as she hurried to the bathroom to fix her make-up before she left. She looked at herself in the mirror and put the lid back on her lip gloss. She was going to have a nice simple dinner with her daughter, who didn't know yet that they were related, and her boyfriend who was the adoptive father of her biological daughter.

"Simple. Not at all daunting" she told herself as she took a deep breath and left the apartment, headed for Revello Drive.

* * *

"I got it!" Dawn yelled as she responded to the knock on the front door, "Hey" she smiled when she opened it and found Buffy on the other side, looking a little dressed up in a fancy blouse and skirt. The young girl was now kind of glad her Dad had made her change into something a little smarter.

"Hi Dawn" Buffy smiled back, "Wow, you look so grown up in that dress" she told her, firstly because it was true and a little shocking, secondly because she knew all teenage girls loved to be told that.

"Thanks" came the immediate response as she invited Buffy to come into the house, "You look nice too" she returned the compliment just as Spike appeared from the kitchen in a smart blue shirt and black pants.

He and Buffy greeted each other and Dawn bit her lip to keep from giggling as the two adults shifted awkwardly before her father finally kissed Buffy's cheek and told her she looked stunning.

The three were soon sat at the table, the food was served and they got on with eating the meal Spike had spent the better part of the morning preparing. The whole point had been for the three of them to talk, get to know each other better all round, but Buffy felt terribly awkward and almost like she were invading, whilst Spike felt very odd sitting here with his daughter and his girlfriend who was also Dawnie's real mother.

"So" the young girl said suddenly, so bored of the silence, "I guess you and your cousin are staying in Sunnydale now, Buffy?" she checked, "I mean, Dad told me you got a place and everything"

"Oh yeah, we're definitely staying" the blonde smiled, "I like it here" she said, looking at Spike, her expression telling him he was a major reason for her liking her new home so much, of course Dawn was another part but that was a conversation to be saved for another day.

"I dunno why anybody would move here, really" the girl went on to say, "I mean, I grew up here, it's home, but it's not like a place you really move to unless you have family or whatever..."

"Eat your food before it goes cold, Bit" Spike interrupted her, giving her a warning look when she opened her mouth to protest.

"What did I say?" she muttered, not really expecting an answer and almost glad she didn't get one since Spike was likely to just embarrass her in front of Buffy, something she would really hate.

The meal continued and Buffy felt bad for Dawn. She was just asking a simple question, didn't mean to offend anybody. She couldn't possibly know how awkward she was making everybody feel.

"So, Dawn, how's High School working out for you?" she asked her, "No more trouble from the mean girls?"

"Not really" the brunette shrugged, "I can deal. Besides, they're mostly just jealous now cos RJ talked to me" she giggled, a dreamy look coming over her face.

"Who's RJ?" Buffy was interested to know, not noticing Spike's unimpressed expression til he spoke up.

"Some boy who is too old for the Bit here" he snapped a little too harshly and Dawn rolled her eyes.

"He's a nice guy, Dad" she snapped back, "And for the millionth time, I am not stupid. He didn't even ask me out yet and even if that little miracle happened, I'm almost fifteen years old! I am not some kind of idiot-whore who just lets guys... y'know, take advantage or whatever" she said, feeling a little hurt that he'd admit to thinking she might in front of company.

"I'm sure your Dad doesn't think that" Buffy said quietly, feeling sick as she realised her own daughter thought she was idiot for what she'd done, or she would if she knew. She'd been just fifteen when she'd let Angel sleep with her and she hated herself for being so naive, and yet had that mistake not been made, Dawnie wouldn't be here now for Spike and Drusilla to have loved as their own and for Buffy to get to know.

"I'm sorry, Spike" the blonde said as she put down her knife and fork, "It's delicious really but... I'm kinda full" she smiled. Truth be told she just completely lost her appetite after what Dawn had said, and Spike knew it too.

"'S alright, pet" he assured her, the look in his eyes telling her there was more than one meaning to his words. He didn't want her to take to heart what Dawn had said. She was just a child and she tended to see things in black and white, which in most cases was a good thing. As much as Spike loved Buffy the last thing he wanted was for his own daughter to do what she had done, to get herself in trouble so young.

"If you don't want dessert, I can eat two servings" Dawn grinned, "We have chocolate gateaux, it's a personal favourite of mine"

"Mine too" Buffy smiled, liking the fact there were similarities between them, "Maybe I'll manage a small piece"

"I dunno, too full for the main course but offer her chocolate..." Spike smirked as he took the plates away.

"What can I say?" Buffy shrugged, "Woman's prerogative to be difficult sometimes"  
"Don't I bloody know it" Spike joked as he took the plates away into the kitchen and sliced up the gateaux, leaving Buffy and Dawn alone.

"So, you and my Dad seem to like each other a lot" the brunette girl said immediately her father was out of ear shot.

"Yes, we do" Buffy nodded, "He's a very special man, and obviously a great father. He talks about you all the time"

"I'll bet" Dawn rolled her eyes, "He doesn't have much else to talk about. Since Mom... well, you're the first girlfriend he's had"

There was an awkward pause and Buffy took a deep breath before turning to Dawn and putting her hand over hers on the table.

"Dawn, I want you to know that, that as much as I like your Dad, I don't want to come between you two at all" she assured her, "and I'm not trying to be a replacement for... for your Mom" she said awkwardly, "I know I never could be, and I really would never try"  
"I know" Dawn replied softly as she nodded her head, "And it's okay, I get it. I get that Dad needs somebody and you're cooler than most of the other women around here" she smiled, "I can deal with having you around"

"Thank you, Dawn" Buffy said, trying not to get too emotional and finding it almost impossible, "It means a lot to me that you accept me right now"

"Sure" the younger girl smiled, "Not a big deal" she shrugged, although she knew it was even from her own perspective.

Accepting another woman into her father's life and her own was a major thing, since the only one up to now had been her mother, Dru. Still, she liked Buffy, and it might be nice to have a fellow female around to talk to. Sometimes it was hard being a teenage girl without a mother to confide in, not just about boys but other more personal things, questions that a Dad would find awkward and probably not really understand.

Dawn smiled as her piece of double chocolate cream gateaux was placed in front of her and thanked her father. He really was the best Dad ever, and so much more happy since he'd met Buffy. It seemed to Dawn that it might a good thing all round that the blonde had come to Sunnydale.

To Be Continued...


	19. The Game of Life

A/N : Big thanx to; Baby Girl Geller-Green, Bittersweetbloodbaby, katie, spuffygrl, Mita427, spuffymonica, KelleyTheSelfToastablePopTart, Ape18, Spuffy2008, Lifes-Slayer (yes, Dawn does know she's adopted), souled-angel, -little oro-, Moluvsnumber17, Brunettepet, bella-lover, Sandra, alba's room, and Rebel Goddess, for the lastest reviews. So gald you still like this fic!  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 19 - The Game Of Life

"Well, we certainly picked the right day to have a picnic" Spike said sarcastically as he and Dawn stood by the living room window watching the rain pour down the glass. It was still early in the morning and Buffy wasn't due to join them to go out til lunch time, but it was looking increasingly unlikely that the weather would improve sufficiently for them to go to the park as planned.

"Stupid rain" Dawn grumbled as she flopped down on the couch and flipped on the TV. The guy in front of the big map of California was ready to tell her that it was no use hoping for better weather either later today or tomorrow. The whole weekend was set to be a wash out for Sunnydale and the surrounding area.

With a little annoyed sound, Dawn turned off the TV and looked at her father.

"I guess you should call Buffy, tell her it's all off" she sighed.

"Probably should" Spike agreed, hating that he wouldn't get to see his woman today after all. He loved spending time with her, both alone and with Dawn around. His daughter had accepted the blonde into their lives quite easily over the past month, and things had been great ever since that first dinner they'd had at the house.

As great as it was to feel so comfortable with a woman, to be in love as he knew he was, sometimes Spike dreaded being alone with Buffy. She got so upset at times when they talked about Dawn. It was now almost certain that the two girls were mother and daughter and still the younger of the two had no idea. Buffy wanted to tell her, but she just didn't know how and she was so afraid of losing both her little girl and Spike too. He wanted to help, had offered to tell Dawn the truth on several occasions, but he too had no idea where to begin and was so scared of being torn between the two people who meant the most to him in the world.

"Hello, luv" he said when she picked up the phone.

"I'm guessing the picnic is a no go, huh?" Buffy replied, "The rain was hitting on my window so hard it woke me up, I've been watching it come down for hours"

"Set to go on for a while yet too" Spike told her, "If that bloke on the telly's got it right of course"

"It's not fair" Buffy sighed, "I was really looking forward to today. I was going to wear that sun dress that you love me in" she smiled to herself, knowing exactly what she was doing to him by mentioning the infamous dress that flattered her figure and made him want her so much.

"You tryin' to turn me on, Summers?" he asked, glad Dawn had gone back upstairs by now and switched on her stereo.

"Maybe" Buffy giggled, knowing she was safe to behave in such a way on the other end of the phone. Things were a little different when she was face to face with Spike. She liked him a lot, loved him even, and of course she wanted him but they had yet to take the big step of spending the night together. Partly it was because their having the chance to be alone all night hardly ever came up anyway, but even when it did, something stopped them going all the way.

Buffy knew a lot of the problem was her lying to Dawn. Until she could be honest with her about their connection and deal with the fallout she just couldn't let things go any further between herself and Spike. She didn't want to give herself so completely to him only to have to walk away in the end, it'd hurt too much. Of course she knew it was sort of pointless, it would already pretty much kill her if she had to let both her daughter and her boyfriend go now.

"Well, y'know, luv" Spike said, bringing her out of her thoughts, "There's nothin' to stop you comin' over here to eat anyway. Me and the Bit did all the food for the picnic last night, we can just as easy eat it in the house" he suggested.

"Yeah, I guess" Buffy agreed, "I was kinda looking forward to seeing you" she admitted, feeling like such a ditzy teen but not caring at all that she was behaving like one. This was the first time in years she'd felt so happy.

* * *

"This is so weird" Dawn laughed, "A picnic in the house" she said as she surveyed the scene of her Dad and Buffy sitting either side of a rug that was spread out on the living room floor, complete with sandwiches and cakes and all manner of food waiting to be eaten.

"Quite welcome to go sit in the back yard if you want, Bit" Spike pointed out, "Just don't blame me when the cookies start floating across the lawn" he smirked, making Buffy and Dawn both laugh.

"I didn't say it was bad weird" his daughter pointed out, "It's cool, all the fun of picnicking and without the ants to carry all the food away"

"Plus no fear of badness from too much sun" Buffy added, "Y'know like the burning or the faintage"

"Oh that happened one time when we went to this theme park..." Dawn began enthusiastically rambling off a story from when she was a kid, not worrying about the fact her mouth was full of food as she went on and on.

Though Buffy was trying to listen, Spike's fingers had found hers on the carpet and his thumb was rhythmically stroking the back of her hand. When she glanced at him he had this intense look in his eyes that sent shivers up and down her spine and concentration on anything but him was almost impossible.

"...you remember that, Dad?" Dawn said suddenly, snapping both Spike and Buffy from their little moment rather sharply.

"Er, yeah, course I remember, Nibblet" her father said, re-running the few words he'd actually heard in his head and then genuinely realising he did know what she was referring too. Buffy blushed as she pulled her hand far enough away that Spike couldn't get hold of it again and though Dawn noticed they'd shifted away from each other sharply, she didn't mind that they'd been closer.

"You guys are so obvious" she giggled as she popped the top off a can of soda and took a gulp. Spike and Buffy shared a look but didn't make any kind of reply, they were a little too stunned to realise that Dawn knew they'd been paying more attention to each other than to her, and moreover that she didn't seem to mind too much.

* * *

"Well, the picnic and food thing you can fake inside" Dawn sighed as Spike cleared away empty packets and the rug, "but if I throw the Frisbee in here I think I'd be grounded forever" she smiled over at Buffy who did the same.

"Well, there must be something else fun you'd like to do" the blonde suggested, "I mean I don't mind playing a board game or whatever... or are you too old for that?" she said frowning suddenly, "Did I just suggest like the lamest thing ever?" she checked.

"No, honestly you didn't" Dawn giggled at the panicked expression on the older woman's face, "Actually me and my Dad usually break out the board games when it rains and there's nothing good on TV" she admitted, "You know how to play the Game of Life?" she asked Buffy who nodded and said that she did.

At that point Dawn bolted off upstairs to fetch the game, right when Spike came back into the room.

"Where's she off to?" he asked Buffy as he held out a hand to her and she pulled herself up off the floor.

"To fetch the Game of Life" the blonde told him as her arms went around his neck, "I offered to play"

"You" Spike grinned as his hands held her by the waist, "Might just be the most thoughtful, wonderful, beautiful woman in the world" he said honestly, leaning in closer and whispering in her ear, "And all I've wanted to do since you came in that door is snog you til you can't think straight"

"I wish you would" she admitted as he put his lips to hers and took her breath away beautifully. As soon as Dawn's footfalls could be heard on the top few steps of the stairs they sprang apart again and were soon helping in the process of setting up the game, as if nothing had happened at all.

* * *

"Well, this sucks" Dawn complained as she took her turn, "I got another kid! I wanted more cash"

"Dawnie" Spike said warningly, "'S not exactly a great attitude now is it, pet"

"Everybody wants different things from life" he heard Buffy say softly as she took her turn and moved her playing piece around the board. Though Dawn took the blonde's words at face value, Spike suspected they meant something much deeper in reality.

"...I mean, I don't know if I'll ever get married" Dawn was saying as Spike tuned back in to his little girls rambling whilst taking his turn at the game, "but there is no way I want kids"

"Sweetheart, we're playing a game" Spike reminded her, "Don't expect you to plan your real future. Plenty of time for that when you grow up" he said, ruffling her hair which made her protest and straighten it out again.

"I can know now that I won't want babies y'know" she huffed, "I'm not a little kid anymore, and not everyone wants to be a parent just cos you are. Buffy's not" she said, causing said blonde to choke on a mouthful of soda. She breathed unevenly for a moment before getting up from her seat.

"I'm sorry, I'll fetch a cloth" she said, gesturing vaguely towards the patch on the table where she'd spat a little of her drink.

Spike went with her without a word to Dawn about what she'd said. Poor kid didn't realise just what an impact her innocent words had. How could she?

"Buffy" the bleached blond said gently as he came into the kitchen and found her by the sink, her back to the door, "Luv, she didn't mean anything by it. She's got no idea"

"I know" Buffy sniffed as she turned and found Spike standing right there, "It's just so hard" she said, desperately fighting tears.

"We've got to find a way to tell her" he sighed as he pulled the poor woman into a hug, resting his chin on the top of her head, "This isn't fair on any of us, we've waited long enough"

"Not today, Spike, please" Buffy begged, words a little muffled since her face was buried in his chest, "I know we have to do it but I can't spoil today, it was all going so well"

"Not today then" he agreed, kissing the top of her head, "But soon"

Buffy nodded her agreement before taking a deep breath and pulling out of his arms. She picked up a cloth and walked back through to clean up the mess at the table as originally planned. Spike followed and they both wondered where Dawnie had gone til they heard her voice in the hall. She was just hanging up the phone, and grinning like a Cheshire cat when she appeared.

"Oh my God, you so will not believe this!" she enthused, "It finally worked! It took a whole month, but that was RJ on the phone!" she giggled, "He finally asked me out!"

"Bugger that!" Spike exploded without thinking about the improper language in front of his daughter, "There is no way in hell that Senior sod is taking you out of an evening, Dawn" he said sternly and the poor girl went from bouncing like Tigger on speed to looking like Eeyore in a rain storm not disimilar to the one outside.

"Dad!" she whined like a much younger child than she actually was, "You cannot do this to me! I'll look so lame!" she complained, and Buffy felt strangely compassionate to both people's arguments. Spike just wanted to keep his girl safe, their girl truth be told, and Buffy completely respected that. At the same time she had once been in Dawn's shoes and knew how such things as dating seemed like life and death to a fourteen or fifteen year old girl.

"Dawnie, do not make me lose my temper" Spike told her, "I told you weeks ago when you started this daft obsession with that boy that you would never be steppin' out with him"

"But I like RJ!" the brunette all but screamed, tears welling up in her eyes, "And you never let me do anything! It is so unfair!" she went to storm away but Spike grabbed her wrist and held her still.

"Don't you dare take that tone with me, young lady" he told her, "You are bloody privileged, spoilt rotten in fact compared to most" he reminded her, causing Dawn to look a little shame faced but still very angry and upset.

"I know" she conceded, "but you have to let me do this, don't make me cancel and look so lame, please Dad" she begged of him, "Buffy, you think I should go, right?" she called across to the blonde who had been trying to ignore the fracas to no avail.

"Dawnie, I..." she began, glancing at Spike who told her with his eyes it was okay for her to have an opinion on this one. He trusted her to say the right thing, after all she'd experienced first hand the dangers of being so young and dating a more experienced man.

"Sweetie, maybe your Dad is right" she said gently to the irate teen before her, "RJ is older than you and it might not be safe for you to go out with him, you're so young and..."

"What do you know about it!" Dawn yelled at her, "This has nothing to do with you, just cos you come here and make googly eyes at my Dad all the time!" she said nastily, "You can't tell me what to do! You're not my Mom!" she screamed as she turned to run up the stairs.

Buffy's sudden and tearful declaration made her stop in her tracks.

"Yes, I am"

_To Be Continued..._

A/N2 : I know, I know, what a terrible place to stop! Sorry, about that, but I do like my cliffhangers! The truth is out and as I mentioned before this fic is on the home straight, just a few more chapters to go. I think I can have it all done in about three or four more chapters depending on how it goes when I'm writing it. In the in between time, you guys know what to do... ;-)


	20. Fallout

A/N : Wow, so many reviews! Thanx so much to; Ape18, Spuffy6, Ember91, spikegothicchick, spuffymonica, LiLi, KelleyTheSelfToastablePopTart, Brunettepet, funkydevil206, Lifes-Slayer, Spuffy2008, angelfan86, demonica mills, PltnmDancer, kim, Rebel Goddess, aej1085, bella-lover, Baby Girl Geller-Green, Sandar, spuffygrl, alba's room, and Mita427. Big apologies for the cliffhanger gang, but it had to be done! Here is Dawn's reaction that you all seem so desperate to read! Here's hoping it doesn't disappoint...  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_

Chapter 20 - Fallout

"Sweetie, maybe your Dad is right" she said gently to the irate teen before her, "RJ is older than you and it might not be safe for you to go out with him, you're so young and..."

"What do you know about it!" Dawn yelled at her, "This has nothing to do with you, just cos you come here and make googly eyes at my Dad all the time!" she said nastily, "You can't tell me what to do! You're not my Mom!" she screamed as she turned to run up the stairs.

"Yes, I am" Buffy's sudden and tearful declaration made her stop in her tracks.

Dawn felt like all the air had suddenly left her body as she turned slightly and looked down at the woman who had just declared she was her mother.

"What?" she squeaked.

"Dawnie, luv" Spike frowned as he reached for her, but she pulled away.

"Dad, it's not true" she said, shaking her head, "Tell her, she has to be wrong, she's not my mother, she can't be" Dawn said frantically, tears escaping down her cheeks as a million different emotions ran through her.

"She is, pet" her father told her, "She is your real mother"

"Oh God" Dawn gasped, her hand going to her mouth as she stood there in the middle of the stairs, glancing between the man she had always called Dad and the woman who was apparently her birth mother.

She'd wondered about her so many times, though she hadn't really thought about meeting her for real. Drusilla had been her Mom, and though she missed her, she had no wish to replace her. Since her real mother had given her up for adoption Dawn always assumed it was unlikely she'd want to see her again anyway. Now it turned out the woman who couldn't stand to be around her, to bring her up like she should, that woman was Buffy.

"I can't" Dawn exclaimed bolting up the stairs. Spike made to go after her calling her name til he realised Buffy was sobbing her heart out in the hall.

There he stood, torn between his little girl and the woman he loved, and unless this problem could be resolved this is where he'd always be, forced to choose between them or be torn to pieces as they fought over him.

"Buffy, please" he said desperately, putting a hand to her hair, "Please don't go anywhere" he told her, "I have to go to her, she's just a child she, she needs me" he said, turning to bolt up the stairs after Dawn just as soon as Buffy had nodded her head to say she understood.

As Spike hurried away, the blonde he'd left behind sank down to her knees in the hallway, sobbing like she'd never stop. The look on Dawn's face when she'd realised what had been said was true, that had hurt so much. The surprise, the shock, she'd expected it and she'd understood, but nothing had prepared her for the pain, the anger, perhaps hate was too strong a word but she definitely wasn't Buffy's biggest fan right now.

All she could do now was pray that when Dawn calmed down she'd want to talk to her, that she'd still like and trust her as she had before, maybe even more so now the truth was known.

* * *

"Dawnie?" Spike called through her locked bedroom door, "Little Bit, please open the door" he sighed, hating the fact he could hear her sobbing beyond the wood.

"Go away!" Dawn called back, feeling so hurt right now she really didn't want to talk to anyone, not even her father who she loved more than anyone else in the world. He'd lied to her, he must've done. It seemed he knew Buffy was her real mother and yet he'd never mentioned it, just let her believe the blonde was nothing more than his new girlfriend.

"I'm not going anywhere, luv" Spike told her firmly, "Not until you open this door and let me see you're alright"

He heard movement and then the key in the lock before the bedroom door opened slightly. Dawn peered out, seemingly checking her father was alone, she didn't want to deal with Buffy right now.

"Oh pet" he sighed when he saw her tearstained face, "Sweetheart, we never meant to hurt you"

She nodded that she understood as her face crumpled and she began to cry all over again. Spike automatically wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tight as they came through the door and sat down on his daughters bed.

"It's so lame" Dawn cried, "I don't even know what I'm crying for" she admitted, "I just..." she couldn't say anymore as the emotion took over to the point where her voice went away.

"Shock, I s'pose" Spike said softly as he rested his chin on the top of her head and rubbed her back soothingly, "Gotta say, surprised the hell out of me when Buffy told me the truth of it all"

"She used us, didn't she?" Dawn sniffed as she looked up at her father, "She was playing you, both of us?"

"That's what I thought originally" Spike sighed, "but not a bit of it" he shook his head, "She didn't want to hurt anybody, Dawnie. 'S been hurt too much herself to want to cause pain to anyone else" he explained as he pushed his little girls hair from her blotchy face, "When she and her cousin first came to Sunnydale, it was to find her daughter, but she had no idea when she started seein' me that you were that little girl she was searching for"

Dawn swallowed hard and shook her head.

"I'm not her daughter" she said firmly, "You're my Dad, and Mom was Mom, I mean Drusilla" she said, confusing herself, "_She _can't just come in and drop this on me and think it's okay"

"She doesn't think that" Spike assured his daughter, "Baby, she just wants a chance to know you. I get that you're shocked and maybe a little scared, it's all a bit much to take in but I need you to be a grown up about this" he told her gently, "Buffy's suffered too, luv, reckon she should be the one to tell you about it but I need you to know, she's not the villain here"

Dawn nodded her understanding and reached for a tissue to blow her nose. Her gaze lingered on the framed photo by her bed and she picked it up.

"It's so weird" she sighed, running a finger around the image of Drusilla, "She was always my Mom, even when I knew I was adopted. You and she were the only parents I ever knew, I never needed anyone else, I never wanted to know..." her words trailed off into nothingness and Spike's eyes filled with tears as he looked down at the picture of his dead wife.

"She was a hell of a woman" he said, smiling fondly, despite his tears.

"Buffy told me she never wanted to replace her" Dawn said quietly, "That day she came to dinner. It was so weird, I never thought she meant it like that" she frowned.

Though Spike was focused enough on his daughter to know exactly what she was saying, his mind began to wander to the blonde they spoke of, probably still sitting at the bottom of the stairs crying her eyes out, so afraid of losing the two people she loved most.

"Er, luv" he said awkwardly, "You okay for a minute if I go check on Buffy?" he asked, "She was just as upset as you y'know"

"I'm fine" Dawn smiled bravely, "but... I don't have to talk to her, do I?" she said, suddenly frowning again as she shook her head negatively against the idea that had actually yet to even be suggested.

"You don't want to, then you don't have to" Spike assured his little girl as he squeezed her hand, though he wished things had gone better today, they certainly could've been worse. Dawn hadn't blamed him for concealing the truth, she didn't even seem really angry at Buffy, just mixed up and teary. Hopefully it could still all turn out well, he thought as he headed down the stairs.

"Buffy?" he called when he reached the bottom and couldn't find her. It was then he spotted the piece of paper by the phone in the hall, his name scrawled on it in familiar and yet askew handwriting.

Buffy apologised in the short note, saying how sorry she was that she'd upset Dawn and that whilst it might take a while to figure out she would leave town as soon as possible if it was what they wanted. She went on to apologise again and to tell Spike she loved both him and Dawn so much. She hated herself for causing pain, and spoke of herself as selfish which angered him as much as it made him want to cry for her. The poor woman had really done nothing terribly wrong and how much she had suffered was just tragic.

The emotion of the whole event caught up with Spike and tears ran unchecked down his cheeks until he heard Dawn following on down the stairs. He scrubbed at his face with the back of his hand and shove Buffy's note into the pocket of his jeans.

"Is she gone?" his daughter asked as she reached his side.

"Yeah, she's gone" he said shakily as he hugged her, hoping to God it was only the house she had left and not the town. He still loved Buffy Summers so much, and prayed she wouldn't walk away just yet. Given time he was sure Dawn would accept the blonde into her life, at least he really hoped so.

* * *

Xander jumped when he heard a clatter at the front door and he turned to see his cousin half-fall into the apartment, soaked through by the pouring rain.

"Buffy?" he said worriedly as he got to his feet and came over to her, "My God, what happened to you?"

"I... I didn't want to wait for the bus" she said shakily, shivering from cold but also because she was trying not to cry, "I just ran" she admitted as tears fell from her eyes, mixing with the rain water that dripped from her hair.

Xander frowned hard, not understanding exactly what was happening and certainly not liking the possible scenarios that were running through his head. He got Buffy to he couch and sat her down, flicking off the TV before hurrying to fetch some towels. he wrapped a larger one around his cousin's shoulders and handed her another to wipe her face and wring out her hair with.

"Sweetie, why were you out in this weather?" he asked gently as he sat down beside her, "Did you argue with Spike?"

"Yes, no, oh Xander it was horrible" she rambled, before throwing herself into his arms and crying hard, "Dawn knows" she sobbed and the brunette suddenly realised what must have happened.

"Oh, you told Dawnie how you might me her Mom" he said softly as he rubbed her back, "I'm sorry she took it badly, Buff" he told her as he tried to comfort her and stop her crying. It had bothered him that this might happen when Spike's adopted daughter found out in all likelihood Buffy was her real mother. Teens were prone to getting in a snit over the tiniest thing and this was a major deal. As bad as he felt for Buffy in all this, he had some sympathy for Dawn too. He didn't like his own parents much, but he couldn't imagine how tough it must be to know your real Mom and Dad gave you away, and not truly understanding why.

"I hate this, Xand" Buffy mumbled against his chest, "I love Spike so much, and somehow I love Dawn too. She's my baby I just know it, and I want them in my life so much" she cried.

"And they might still be" Xander assured her, "Spike loves you, I know it and you do too, and Dawnie likes you, she just needs some time to get over the shock and everything"

"I guess" Buffy sniffed as her tears slowed, "I just... I'm scared Xander, I'm so afraid she'll never wanna know me" she said, trying to force away the quiver in her voice.

Xander had no idea what to say to that. He hated to think Dawn would really never accept her mother, leaving Buffy without the daughter she longed to know, and the man she'd fallen in love with too. In the absence of any helpful words to say, Xander just pulled his cousin back into his arms and held her a while longer.

To Be Continued...


	21. Crying

**A/N : Big thankage to my wonderful reviewers; Spuffy2008, Bittersweetbabylove, spuffymonica, Lifes-Slayer, Ape18, spikegothicchick, Brunettepet, bella-lover, KelleyTheSelfToastablePopTart, angelfan86, Sandra, katie, velja, Baby Girl Geller-Green, LiLi, spikesbint16, Mita427, and spuffygrl. Now, get ready for some serious emotional overload. Just one more chapter to go after this!**  
**_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)_**

Chapter 21 - Crying

"You sure about this, sweetie?" Xander asked his cousin as she slipped on her shoes and checked she had everything she needed in her purse.

"I'm fine, Xand, really" she lied blatantly as she forced a smile and went towards the door, hesitating when she reached it. She really wished she didn't have to face work this morning, most especially because Spike would be there. It was just over thirty six hours since she'd dropped her little bombshell and told Dawn it was very likely they were mother and daughter. Now she faced the very real possibility that neither her little girl or her boyfriend would want her in their lives and that caused a pain in her heart that felt like it could easily kill her.

"I could call in" Xander said behind her, "Tell Giles you're not feeling well"

"It wouldn't be a complete lie" Buffy sighed, "but he'd know why I really wasn't there" she told her cousin what he already knew, "Spike will have told him everything, I have no doubts on that, and I can't not ever go back to my job, Xand. I'm a lot of things but I'm not a quitter or a coward" she reminded him.

"Hey, I never said that" her cousin was quick to point out, "I just hate seeing you all down and gloomy. I wish I could make it better"

"You can" Buffy smiled as he hugged her, "You do, the fact you came here to Sunnydale with me, the way you always supported me no matter what. You're so much more than a cousin to me Xand, it's like having a big brother or something, and I love you so much"

"Love you too, Buff" he smiled as he held her and kissed the top of her head, "Always"

"I should really go" she said a moment later as she pulled out of his arms and took a deep breath, "I'm not the tardy type either" she nodded firmly a she went out of the door at last.

Xander sighed as the door clicked shut behind her. She certainly hadn't had a simple life, and things were going to be rough for a while yet it seemed. He hoped and prayed that Dawn and Spike could find a way to keep Buffy in their lives. If they couldn't it'd mean moving towns again, which was bad enough in itself since it meant new jobs, new home, not to mention Xander leaving his girlfriend behind who he was certain now he was completely in love with.

Then there was Buffy's pain and anguish, all that she'd been through before would pale into insignificance if she lost Dawn so soon after finding her, not to mention Spike. Xander had never known his cousin be this way, so much in love. Even when she was a kid and welded to Angel's side, she was never like this, a weird sort of happy that emanated from her eyes all the time, until Saturday night.

* * *

Willow couldn't concentrate on her work. Her first problem was the lack of sleep she'd gotten last night, since the kids had caught some nasty stomach related illness and had passed it to their father. Oz and the two girls had taken turns throwing up and using the bathroom all night long as Willow checked they were all okay and cleaned up a couple of accidents. Her workload was larger due to her husbands absence from work, but at least he was feeling a little better today and was able to cope with staying home alone with the kids, they had it worse than he did.

Still, her tiredness and mountain of paperwork were not the only problems Willow had. Spike and Buffy were bothering her too, or rather the fact they seemed to be avoiding each other was what was getting to her. Each time Buffy passed through the office from her own she gave Spike's desk a wide berth and walked double quick time, most especially on the two occasions when he'd called her name. She had to have heard him since she was right next to Willow when he called and the red-head heard only too clearly.

Willow knew other couples affairs were simply none of her business, but she loved Spike like a brother and Buffy had fast become the best girl-friend she'd ever had. If they were having problems she sort of wished she knew what they were so she could at least help in some small way to smooth things out between them. Still, she didn't like to come out and ask. As sweet as Spike was he had a hell of a temper sometimes. Problem was that by the time lunch time had come and gone, Willow felt she might explode if someone didn't tell her what she was missing.

"Er, Spike" she called to him, deciding it might be best to get up and go over to his desk rather than yell her question and have others hear, "Hey" she smiled as she came to stand by is desk, "I... well, tell me I'm being all interfero girl" she said awkwardly, "but did something happen with you and Buffy?" she asked him.

"Could say that, pet" Spike smiled sadly, "Bit of an incident on Saturday, left Dawnie and Buffy in a bit of a state and neither of them are very big with the wanting to speak to me" he sighed, screwing up a piece of scrap paper from his desk and throwing it at the wastepaper bin across the room. It ricocheted off the side and lay on the floor, taunting him for being a lousy shot.

"...but you two are so great together" Willow was saying as he tuned back into her voice, "Imean, I know you haven't known each other for a real long time or anything but you always look so... together"

"We were, luv" Spike told her, still staring into space, "I'm so bloody head over heels for her, reckon I was from the first moment I laid eyes on her in some ways, and now..." he closed his eyes and expelled a breath, not even wanting to think about how badly things had gone and so fast too. He still held out hopes that Dawn would come around in time, but now it seemed Buffy wouldn't even speak to him.

"Whatever it is, Spike, I hope you can work it out" Willow said kindly as she patted his hand, "Buffy loves you too, I know she does"

"Thanks, pet" the bleached blond forced a smile as he turned his hand over under hers and squeezed her fingers before she went back to her desk and attempted to finish the ordinarily simple task that was proving more than a little challenging today.

Spike got up to get the ball of paper he'd previously thrown and put it into the bin when Buffy came out of her office once again, a pile of paper-clipped documents in her arms. Spike was certain she'd be going to the photocopy room just down the corridor and decided this was his one chance to make her listen for a second. The longer he left it the harder it would become, besides he hadn't made certain yet that she wasn't going to go and leave town on him!

He slipped out of the office and moved down the hall, where he could see Buffy through the glass panel in the door to the room where the photocopier resided. He was in the room and closing the door behind himself when she finally realised he was there and then it was too late to run.

"Buffy" Spike said as she backed up against the copier, "Sweetheart, please, we need to talk" he told her.

"There's no point" she said, swallowing hard as a lump rose in her throat and tears she'd been fighting all day long came to her eyes. It'd been somewhat easier to keep from crying than it might've been since Giles had a last minute appointment to race off to and hadn't been in the office, being all nice and decent as she knew he would. Now she had to face Spike and her emotions were overcoming her. She was forced to look away from his intense gaze but he was just inches from her and put is fingers under her chin, making her look at him.

"Buffy, if you won't talk to me at least listen a for a second, would you, pet?" he begged of her, "'S bloody killing me havin' you avoid me like this" he admitted.

"I'm trying to make it easier" she said, pulling away from him, "Dawn hates me, and I can't stay here..."

"Hey wait a second" Spike interrupted, frowning slightly at her words, "The Bit doesn't hate you" he assured her, "Don't know that Dawnie's got the capacity for it, she's so damn sweet... just like her mother" he smiled slightly but Buffy didn't.

"You mean Drusilla" she said bitterly but Spike shook his head.

"No, luv" he told her, "I meant you. I'm not gonna deny Dru meant a bloody lot to me" he sighed, "My first love, my wife, she made me what I am. She blessed my life and no-one on God's green earth or in any other place could ever replace her" he explained, "I personally think me and her did a bleedin' good job raisin' Dawnie, but Buffy, we both knew we were never going to be her real parents. Now I'm not sayin' it was easy finding out you were what Dru always wanted to be or that there's some git out there that's the Little One's real Dad, but I dealt with it, and she will too"

Buffy sniffed, feeling so overly emotional as Spike's hand went to her cheek and wiped away the one stray tear that fell.

"Why did it have to be so complicated?" she asked him shakily, "Why did you have to make me fall in love with you?"

"Sorry 'bout that, pet" Spike smirked, "but for what it's worth, you're guilty of the same" he told her, "I soddin' adore you, Buffy, love you so much I can't think straight and all this now with you and Dawn so upset and all... tears my heart to shreds seeing either of you cry"

"I'm so sorry" Buffy sobbed, "It's all my fault"

"Hush, pet" Spike told her, pulling her into his arms, "You're not to blame for all this, and you'll see, it'll all work itself out in the end, just give it time"

"Time" Buffy echoed, sniffing loudly as she brought her head up from his chest and looked up at him, "Dawnie, she's going to need time. I should keep away from her until... for a while at least" she decided, but Spike didn't look happy.

"Buffy, please luv, don't tell me you're leaving, I couldn't bear it" he told her solemnly, feeling like he might cry like a nancy too if she said she was going.

"I'm not leaving" she confirmed, though up until a moment ago she was still seriously considering it, "but I can't be with you, we can't spend so much time together" she shook her head, "I love you, I do, but Dawn needs you right now, you and not me" she said, voice wavering as she fought to retain her composure this time.

"I know" Spike agreed although he hated it, "Poor kid's not sure which way's up right now, and I don't think I'm her favourite person either. I lied too y'know"

"She'll forgive you" Buffy told him, "You're her Daddy and she loves you to pieces, she knows you only ever did what's best for her"

Spike stared a moment before speaking again.

"That feel weird to you?" he asked, "Sayin' I'm her Dad when you knew her real father?" he said, the words almost choking him, not only because he hated to remember that Dawnie was not really his little girl, but also because he knew what a total louse her real father was.

"You are her real father, Spike" Buffy assured him, looking right into his eyes, "You brought her up, you love her like a father should and she loves you too. You're the only Dad she's ever known, the only one she ever will know"

Spike smiled at her words but only briefly.

"Easy to say but, what's to say the sod won't come looking for her just like you did?" he sighed.

"He can't" Buffy admitted quietly, "Angel... He's dead"

"Bloody hell" Spike exclaimed, not sure if he should ask for details, or even if he really wanted to know them. It seemed Buffy wanted to tell him, or perhaps felt she should.

"I don't know exactly what happened" she explained, "I only heard, he got mixed up with some people, bad people. He was killed in a street fight, a gang thing I think" she took a breath before she could continue, "I loved him once, and then I hated him. I never wished him dead, Spike, but I can't say I'm sorry he's not around to make all this more complicated than it already is"

"I'll agree with that" Spike said absently as he held her, inside so relieved to know the sod that had hurt Buffy so much could not come storming in to their lives now. At least Dawnie was safe from him.

* * *

"So, now we've solved for y we can see that x must be...?" the teacher looked around her algebra class and selected the daydreaming girl at the back of the room as her target, "Dawn?"

"Uh, what?" the young brunette said absently, shaking her head to clear her foggy thoughts, "I'm sorry, Miss Calendar, I missed the question" she admitted and the teacher frowned slightly at the distant look in the girls eyes. She looked tired too, almost ill.

"Are you feeling okay, Dawn?" she checked, moving towards her desk, "You look pale"

"I... May I be excused?" she asked, wishing all the other students would just stop staring at her when she was feeling so close to tears.

"Certainly" Miss Calendar nodded and the girl hurried from the room, taking a couple of deep breaths when she reached the other side of the door.

She forced back tears that wanted to escape her eyes as her fingers went to the silver locket at her throat. It had been Drusilla's and still bore the same two pictures it had when she'd worn it herself, one of Dawn as a tiny baby, and one of Dru and Spike when they were younger.

Dawn's mother, her father, they weren't who she thought, though she'd always known there were another couple out their somewhere who were her biological parents, finding out one was Buffy, it had shocked and upset her. It wasn't that she disliked the blonde, over time they'd got to know each other and she found quite the opposite was true, Buffy was so nice, so easy to like, and Dawn didn't mind at all that Spike had fallen for her.

Now everything was so confusing and Dawn didn't know how much more she could take. She loved her father, the man she had always called Dad, and she loved Drusilla too. She worried that if she didn't accept Buffy she'd regret it later, but equally as much she dreaded allowing the blonde to replace the woman she used to call Mom.

Dawn went towards the girls bathroom and stopped by the sinks, staring into the mirror.

"Who am I?" she said softly to herself as she looked into her own red-rimmed eyes. There was only one person who could really answer that question it seemed.

To Be Continued...


	22. From Beginning To End

A/N : I've gone all out of sequence with my fic writing/posting but I felt the need to finish off this story, at last. So here it is, the final chapter, and a little Epilogue too. Thanx so much to all the reviewers of the previous chapter as well as everyone else who has reviewed any ir all of the chapters of this fic. I have loved writing it, and I always enjoy reading the wonderful comments you all take the time to write for me. Thanx again, and here's the end of he story...  
_(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)  
_

Chapter 22 - From Beginning To End

Two days passed and Dawn continued to try to come to terms with the little bombshell that had been dropped in her lap on Saturday night. Her real, biological mother was most likely to be her (adoptive) Dad's girlfriend, Buffy Summers. Both she and Spike had lied to the teen about it for quite a while, though Dawn had yet to ask how long or the whole story about her birth. Somehow she couldn't bring herself to ask such questions of her father, since she knew she would always see him as such no matter what she found out about those people that created her over fifteen years ago.

The only person who could properly answer all the questions that filled Dawn's head was Buffy herself and the brunette had quite decided she must go and see her and talk things through with her, if she was willing.

It was Thursday and Dawn overheard her Dad on the phone to the local florist shop.

"Yeah, that's the building. 'S on the second floor, Apartment 21b" he told them, "The card? Oh yeah, um, Dearest Buffy, Hope you're soon feeling better, Always thinking of you, love Spike"

When she heard him hang up, Dawn moved from her hiding place on the stairs and came down smiling as if she'd never heard a word. Spike didn't think anything of it and carried on as normal, but Dawn was glad to have the information that Buffy was sick. That meant she'd be home all day, and most likely alone. She had two free periods this afternoon, right before the end of school, since one of her teachers had assigned them reading time, knowing he'd be absent today for whatever reason. All Dawn had to do was sneak out of school and head to Buffy's apartment, talk things through with her and then get back to school in time for her Dad to pick her up, never knowing she'd been gone, until she chose to tell him of course.

It seemed weird, sneaking around behind Spike's back. Dawn really didn't keep secrets from her father, or Drusilla when she'd been alive, but now it was a necessary evil. It wasn't a big bad lie or anything, just a little sneakage that would hopefully lead to good things eventually.

* * *

Buffy was just about sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. This was only the second day she'd stayed home from work but she was so incredibly bored. Yesterday had been awful when she couldn't stop visiting the bathroom and throwing up, but by the end of the day that had all calmed down and she was just so tired. Xander looked after her when he got home, encouraged her to eat a little and refused to let her go to work today since she was still very much in need of sleep.

It was now early afternoon and after many hours of sleep and some more dry food, Buffy was feeling almost normal, if not a little fragile. Daytime TV was driving her insane and she was vaguely wondering if she should dig out a dvd when there was a knock at the door. Dragging herself off the couch she wandered over and opened the door only to be confronted by a very large bunch of flowers that completely obscured the person holding them.

"Delivery for Buffy Summers" said a young female voice and as Buffy took the bouquet from the girl's arms she realised who it was.

"Dawn" she gasped slightly, feeling a million different emotions as she looked at her own little girl standing there on the doorstep with her school bag on her shoulder and an uncomfortable look on her face.

"The flowers are from my Dad" she pointed out, "Not that he knows I'm here. The florist left them downstairs in the hall, I figured I should bring them up"

"Thank you" Buffy said absently as she pulled the card from the flowers and read Spike's message, "He's a very sweet man" she smiled slightly.

"He is" Dawn agreed, "He's pretty must the greatest guy ever... but I'll bet every girl says that about her Dad, right?"

"Not every girl" Buffy shook her head sadly, not really sure what to do next. Dawn knew though and she said so.

"I wanted to talk to you, about... stuff" she explained, "Can we do that now? Talk, I mean, about you and me and... everything?"

"Of course, sweetie" Buffy was almost in tears as she moved away from the door letting her daughter inside. She took the flowers through to the kitchen, filled the sink with water and placed the stems of the blooms into the liquid. Bracing herself on the kitchen counter she took a couple of deep breaths before heading back out into the living room where Dawn was now sat on the couch waiting.

"It's a little messy in here" Buffy apologised, pushing some magazines into a pile on the table and putting an empty packet of cookies into the waste paper bin.

"Buffy" Dawn said, reaching out to put her hand on the older woman's arm, "It's not important" she told her, "Please, I just need to ask you about some stuff"

Buffy nodded as she left the rest of the tidying up and sat down on the couch next to Dawn, studying her hands in her lap since it seemed that was the only safe place to look right now. It was a good sign that her little girl had shown up here wanting to talk, she thought, but she still dreaded this ending badly and Dawn hating her so much.

"Whatever you want to know, Dawn, I'll tell you" she said quietly, "but first I want to tell you how sorry I am" she glanced at the girl briefly before continuing, "I never meant to hurt anybody, not back then, and not now. I love you so much, and I know that probably sounds insane because we barely know each other, but you're my little girl Dawnie, I know you are"

Both of them started to get emotional and Dawn sniffed and composed herself some before she spoke.

"Tell me what happened" she said shakily, "Why did you give me away?" she asked, a lone tear escaping down her cheek as she looked at the woman who was apparently her Mom. Buffy closed her eyes a moment, taking a breath, before she began her story, hoping against hope that by the end, Dawn would be able to at least forgive her a little bit, and not hate her for what she had done.

* * *

"...it was only when you yelled about me not being your mother, I just couldn't bear to hear it and I'd told you the truth before I'd even realised it" Buffy finished her concise narrative of events from her first date with Angel right up to the moment a few days ago when the truth had outed about Dawn being the daughter she and her first love had created.

"Huh" was all the teen could say at first as all she'd been told sunk in, "but, you were just a kid" she said eventually and Buffy nodded her head.

"I was" she agreed, "I didn't think so then of course, I thought I was real grown up and so in love with Angel. The world looks different when your fifteen years old, Dawn, I know that" she said, daring to take hold of her daughters hand as she looked over at her, "You think things are so simple, and that it's all going to end so perfectly, but it doesn't always" she cried, tears rolling down her cheeks.

Dawn found her face was also awash with salt water though she'd barely noticed she was crying til now, she'd been so caught up in the story of the real parents that she never knew and how and why she'd never known them.

"Where is he now?" the girl asked suddenly, "Angel" she said in explanation when Buffy looked a little confused.

"He's gone, sweetie" the blonde said gently, unsure as to how Dawn would take it, "He... he got into a bad crowd and there was a fight..."

"He's dead" Dawn said flatly, not needing to hear anymore. Though this man was apparently her real father, Angel didn't seem at all pleasant if Buffy's story was to be believed and she was a hell of an actress if she was lying, Dawn thought. Even if she could fool her, the girl knew Spike would have seen through any lies and deceptions. Buffy was genuine and as crazy as it was she was Dawn's mother, like it or not.

"I only have one other question, really" she said, wiping her face with the backs of her hands. Buffy waited expectantly for that question, knowing it could not be any more difficult or painful to answer than those that had gone before.

"Do you love my Dad?" Dawn said eventually, "I mean, the guy I call Dad" she amended just in case there was any confusion over her important question.

"Yes, Dawnie" Buffy said emotionally, "I love your Dad so much" she told her sincerely, "but I also love you, and if you can't deal with having me around..." she swallowed hard before she could continue and even then her voice was barely audible by the end of her sentence, "If you don't want me here, I'll go, and I won't come back" she promised, though it almost killed her to do so.

"I don't want that" Dawn answered, though til a few minutes ago she hadn't been certain of the fact, "I... I'm not saying that all of a sudden you can just be my Mom" she explained, "I had a Mom and I loved her so much. You're a good person, and I know you didn't want to hurt anybody. My Dad would never trust you if you weren't for real and I believe everything you told me, but... it's complicated" she paused, trying to work out what she actually meant to be saying, "I guess what I'm trying to say" she said at last, "is that, if you wanna stick around, I'd like to spend time with you, maybe get to know you? Not like a Mom right away, or maybe even at all but..."

"But we could be friends?" Buffy asked hopefully. If that was all that was on offer she'd take it, she'd take less if she had to if only her daughter could accept her in some small way into her life.

"I think we could" Dawn nodded as tears streamed down both their faces once again, "I think my Dad kinda needs you, in fact I know he does. He loves you, and you love him and apparently you both love me" she laughed slightly though it really wasn't funny.

"Thank you, Dawn" Buffy cried, pulling the girl into a hug without thinking, "You don't know what this means to me" she sobbed as she held her tightly to her.

"Yeah" Dawn said softly, hugging her back, "I think I kinda do"

* * *

Spike was sitting outside Sunnydale High, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel and thinking about Buffy. It was becoming a bit of a habit since he'd done it every day this week so far. It was tearing him apart seeing her at work and knowing he couldn't be close to her, but it was almost worse not seeing her at all, knowing she was home alone and suffering and he couldn't even go and see her. They'd agreed to stay apart for Dawn's sake, and Spike did not regret the decision, he'd hate to see his little girl hurting anymore than she already was, but it didn't stop his heart breaking a little more every time he thought of the woman he loved and must keep his distance from.

"Hey Dad" said Dawn as she appeared by the drivers side window, "Is it okay if we give my friend a ride?" she asked hopefully.

"Er, yeah, sure thing, Bit" Spike agreed, "but I..." the words died on his lips as a shaking Buffy stepped into view. It was only now he noticed they both looked a little the worse for wear around the eyes, obviously from crying.

"Hey, Spike" the blonde said softly, "I... Dawn and I, we kinda talked"

"You did?" the bleached blond asked, quite confused and overwhelmed by the situation. Buffy really was the last person he'd expected to see with his daughter right now.

"I had free periods" Dawn admitted, "I kinda snuck out and went to see Buffy" she explained, "I needed to talk to her Dad"

"Right" Spike nodded, "and the outcome of this little talk was positive I'm hoping?" he said, glancing between the two of them. They shared a half smile before Dawn answered him.

"I was thinking since Buffy's feeling better we could take her to the ice-cream parlour?" she suggested, opening the back door of the car and bustling her mother in, getting her to scooch down so they could both fit.

"Ice-cream parlour?" Spike echoed, with a frown, as he turned in his seat to look at the pair of them in the back, "Bit, you can't just..."

"Dad" she interrupted, with a sigh, "I didn't 'just' do anything, okay? I mean, I'm not saying I wanna play happy families or whatever, I don't think we're all ready for that" she said seriously, "but... well, you're always telling me I should act like a grown up, and I'm always telling you I can, so now I'm proving it" she said with a slight smile, "Me and Buffy talked it all over. I get why she had to let me go, and why she's back now, and I'm not saying I'm okay with everything yet. It's all kind of intense" she admitted, "but you love each other, I know you do, and I want things to be good, for all of us to be happy" she told them.

"Well, Buffy" Spike smiled, swallowing hard as emotion almost overcame him, "I reckon our little girl's all grown up"

As the blonde nodded she caused a tear to roll down her cheek which she hastily wiped away. Dawn got hold of her hand on the back seat and squeezed it as they smiled at each other.

Things weren't perfect yet, and it certainly wasn't going to be an easy ride to any sort of happy ending, but they were on their way, and that was okay for now.

- The End... _Almost!_ -


	23. Epilogue Happy Families

****

A/N : Hopefully you won't all hate this little Epilogue. It might have come out a little too sweet and happy-ending-ish for some of you but personally I quite like it. See what you think - all comments welcome, so long as they're not flamey!

Epilogue - Happy Families

"Miss Dawn Marie Giles" Principal Wood said as he handed the young woman her diploma and shook her hand.

From the front row, Buffy and Spike watched their little girl finally graduate High School, and both of them had tears in their eyes. Xander, with Cordelia, sat next to Buffy, and Giles sat beside his own son as the bleached blond tried to steady the video camera in his shaking hands and film his little girls descent down the steps on the other side of the stage.

"Dawnie pretty" the little boy on Buffy's lap giggled, pointing at his sister, "Pretty sister"

"That's right, Aaron" his mother said tearfully, "That's your beautiful sister. Our little girl" she said, glancing at Spike who smiled at her before going back to concentrating on filming.

A few minutes later when all the students had received their diplomas and the ceremony was over, Dawn came rushing through the crowds of people to her family. Aaron immediately scrambled away from his mother and towards the sister he adored. Dawn happily hugged the almost-two year old before Spike pulled her to him and told her how proud he was.

"Thanks Dad" she cried, handing over the baby so she could next embrace Giles, Xander, and then Buffy.

"Oh Dawnie, I'm so proud to be here, to see you graduate, you don't know how much it means to me" she cried as she held her tight, "I love you so much"

"I love you too... Mom" she said, smiling when she pulled away a little and saw the stunned expressions in the faces of her family. It was the first time she'd ever applied the word to Buffy, having always felt uncomfortable with it, until now.

"I loved Drusilla" she explained to the group, "I always will, and she was such a great Mom, but she's gone now" she said, looking at Buffy, "You're here, you're definitely my mother, you and Dad are married, and I love you, so... if it's okay, I definitely want you to be Mom now"

"I always was, honey" Buffy reminded her as they hugged again, "Whether you said it or not, but I'm so happy that you did say it, you have no idea"

"Congratulations, Dawnie" Willow called as she and Oz and their daughters scrambled down through the crowds. They'd been seated at the back, behind all the actual family members, though they were almost as much a part of the Giles/Summers clan as anyone could be.

More hugging and congratulating occurred until Aaron asked the most important question of all.

"Cake now?" he grinned up at his parents, making everybody chuckle.

"Yes, mate" Spike rolled his eyes as he scooped his son up from the ground and placed him on his shoulders, "Let's get home to that bloody cake then" he said referring to the large double chocolate fudge creation they'd bought to celebrate the Little Bit's graduation.

Dawn and Buffy were smiling like idiots as they linked arms and walked alongside Spike. He smiled as he watched them talk animatedly and giggle like kids with a secret. He knew without a doubt that this was how it was supposed to be.

- The End -


End file.
